in “The winner stands alone”, by Paulo Coelho
1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.
2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).
3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.
4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.
5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.
6] Using Botox.
7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.
8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.
9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.
10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.
11] Thinking that parents are always right.
12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).
12ª] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.
14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.
15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.
16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.
17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.
18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.
19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.
20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.
21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.
22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.
23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.
24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.
25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.
26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.
27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.
28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).
29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.
30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.
31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.
32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.
33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.
34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.
35] Using foul language in traffic.
36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.
37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society. Love can wait.
38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.
39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.
40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.
41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.
42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.
43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.
44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.
45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.
46] Being afraid of fibroscopy (men) and childbirth (women).
47] And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell.
please feel free to use the comments below to add issues that I did not include…
Reply To Sasa Milosevic
For the real zombies and more than that you have to check within your nation,Serbs…The last one had have the same, yours, surname with the name Slobodan…
This is way how live the vast majority of Western people today. They are zombies, not people.
Yes.
How sad is merely following the NORMS of something, which is, I’d imagine, where the word ‘normal’ comes from. How sad.
What has happened to that Inner-Something that Wishes, Needs and Requires to be Itself, indeed mindful-enough… but regardless of the ‘norms’.
That transcends the STRAIGHT Lines and points that ‘society’ gives itself.
Why cannot enough people feel the Internal Death that happens when they do this – so much so that they just wouldn’t do it…? Where is that Important, Deep Soul that would go NO!!! from inside them.
Protocol -for some jobs/most jobs is part of the role one does, but is litle more than just being sensible and professional. That’s where following the ‘norms’ should cease, at that sensible level and boundary.
It pains me – and makes me feel lonely about people’s need to belong (undoubtedly an important human need, based on conformity, fear and – ultimately falseness, in that their own SOUL is not involved!…
Yes, I know there are lots of us who aren’t like that :) BUT NOT ENOUGH!!
Over and out.
Not doing something you trully want cause of public judgement or doing it and keeping it secret even from fiendly judgement.
Older Normal: Believing that my truth was the only path and my perception of God was the only God. All other beliefs and religions condemn their believers to hellfire and damnation.
Evolving normalty: There are as many truths as the persons looking and there are multiple paths to God.
Today: To evolve is to worship God. God/Go(o)d is reflected in love, is ever present wherever we look if we only learn how to see.
Thinking that to build a succeessful business in Africa you have to conform to corruption
Absolutely, we all have to commit to being unashamedly ethical here in Africa
working for our children….but spending all day at work instead of staying with them and coming back home from job too much tired to be able of beeing patient…
spending too much money for Santa claus’presents thinking that it is the way to make children happy when they only need us to spend time with them…
waiting for love but being afraid to open the door when it comes to you…
forgetting the dreams of our youth because life goes on too much fast and doesn’t leave us time for dreaming…
thinking that responsabilities are towards others while we shold only respond to us when we look ourselves in the mirror…
love makes the world go round…
that the moment you stop loving is the day you die….
valentines day is a day for making love….
when you talk to yourself( out aloud)and people think you are mad.
when you remeber something really funny on the metro or on the bus but you cant laugh BECAUSE AGAIN PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE MAD.
( i do both , by the way !)
and , how is chewing gum unprofessional, can anyone tell me…………..
and why do we have to be polite to people we dont like much….
and some more, that i have seen
believing filmstars actually have flawless skins…
that if you are in a “trendy Place” u have to look “COOL” and if you are not then everybody is staring at you because of it…
that one always has to say meaningful/funny/smart things in company….
P.S i love walt disney movies……any day over sharp cynical realistic movies where inevitably in the end the hero dies..urrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh
48) Thinking that perseverance means sticking to your plans, no matter how stubborn, poorly conceived, and irrational; lacking the wisdom to know that forward motion in the present is better than getting stuck with an unattainable future.
INVENTORY OF NORMALITY
-Being afraid of being alone
- Settling because you think there is no one better out there for you
-Thinking that CHEATING is so common you have no choice but to condone it
-Not believing in true love
And finally the one that I think I’ve seen above several times but it irks me so much I have to mention it again: being convinced that there is only one way to God and that way is your way and everyone else who does not believe in it is doomed. For me personally, it is blasphemous to speak, judge, hate in the name of God. None of us ARE God therefore all we know comes from our PERSONAL faith and relationship with Him and PERSONAL it should remain.
Beautiful!
:-)
A friend and i were discussing discussing God, religion and spirituality on facebook yesterday. The conclusion was that all we know is our belief of God. Fo example, I see God in the knowing smile of my grandtr, feel God’s guidance driving safely through a blinding snow …Totally personal
I think society’s views was either consciously or unconsciously created with good intentions but not totally effective but rather limiting, in my opinion. I believe that as long as your not violating the ten commandments then you should be free in doing whatever you wanna do and be who you are and not be judge through expectations that comes from people who thinks it is what you should or only do since it’s expected. Personally I’m not the type of person who wants to be limited with my own creativity and personal exploration of myself (like what I believe in etc.) and everything else… I think restricting oneself to this just limits a person to it’s full potential as a human being and I believe that it was said in the bible about something like being near to God makes you an enemy or away from human eyes’ approval or something…
Feeling like a generous king while giving 20$ to a charity, but feeling penniless when having the same amount to spend at the mall.
Studying Algebra in college eventhough you hate it and you’re probably never going to use parabolas to solve problems (unless you are an engineer/architect).
I love this one and it’s so true. I sometimes feel that way myself and I’ll get upset with myself for the thought.
Sabiduría canina…
1. Nunca dejes pasar la oportunidad de salir a pasear
2. Experimenta la sensación del aire fresco y del viento en tu cara sólo por placer
3. Cuando alguien a quien amas se aproxima, corre para saludarlo (a)
4. Cuando haga falta, practica la obediencia
5. Deja que los demás sepan cuando están invadiendo tu territorio
6. Sienpre que puedas toma una siesta y estírate antes de levantarte
7. Corre, salta y juega diariamente
8. Sé siempre leal
9. Come con gusto y con entusiasmo, pero detente cuando ya estas satisfecho
10. Nunca pretendas ser algo que no eres
11. Si lo que deseas está enterrado, cava hasta encontrarlo
12. Cuando alguien tenga un mal día, guarda silencio, siéntate cerca de él (ella) y trata de agradarlo (a)
13. Cuando quieras llamar la atención, deja que alguien te toque
14. Evita morder por cualquier problema
15. En los días cálidos, acuéstate sobre tu espalda en el pasto
16. En los días de mucho calor, bebe mucha agua y descansa bajo un árbol frondoso o en tu rinconcito preferido
17. Cuando te sientas feliz, baila y balancea tu cuerpo
18. No importa cuantas veces seas censurado, no asumas ningún rencor y no te entristezcas… corre inmediatamente hacia tus amigos
19. Alégrate con el simple placer de una caminata
20. Mantente siempre alerta pero tranquilo
21. Dá cariño con alegría y deja que te acaricien
Using another’s love for your own gain or to repair yourself instead of doing the work on your own.
When asked the challenging moral question…answering…”I guess I am just being selfish.”
If each and every one of us tried to be a good human being at the end of the day, doesn’t matter which religion, caste, creed, race or gender- the world would have been a much better place. This would be for the people, and for all the living things that make up the Earth as we know it.
We try and send satellites to the far distant corners of our solar system and beyond, but how many of us do even know the names of our neighbors. We are strangers to each other. How do we present ourselves as Planet Earth to an extra terrestrial intelligence when we cannot even look at our co-worker, our family members, friends and neighbors and say Hello!
I like the “All Spark” and “No Bull” – that’s were we all came from – helps you to keep a sense of perspectives.
Thanks for that!
Merry Xmas and all the best for 2010 everyone.
Love
MCh
I complitely agree with you..Thank you for bringing it up!Happy Hollidays!Tamy.
Love that!
:-)
to judge
Yeah! Just right, dead boring! Hehehehe :DDDD
I like so much your sense of humor Paul!
You know, from the way you write and express things, before I saw a videcomment from you I used to think that you was a very young guy.
Love
Olta
ADDING TO THE INVENTORY OF NORMALITY
-> Senior managers who work with me in close physical proximity, 8 hours x 5 days a week, but avoid looking at me so they don’t have to greet me (I call it the head slant mode of walking).
-> Swallowing down my tears when I feel like crying for no apparent reason, then having to justify to my XXXX why I am crying …. Well I cry because some part of me feels sad!
-> Doing a 9-5 job everyday that is much lower than what I am capable to give, then getting a low wage income, because in today’s society I can’t live without money i.e. human life dependancy and existence linked to money.
-> Buying Christmas presents for some members of my family/friends/colleagues who don’t care about me or spread horrible rumours about me, just because I have to for being polite.
sara, thank you ssooooooooooooooo much…. i thought i am alone in having these feelings…. at least now i realized I’M NORMAL… ordinary people like us live like this and feel the same way…9
its all same with us too … don’t worry u r not alone.
gracias por compartirlo conmigo, intentare cambiar el punto 18. me permito agregar a la normalidad, el que uno no puede cambiar para los demas , siempre deberiamos ser como los demas quieren que seamos, si intentamos cambiar , se nos tilda de locos o peor aun…esta enfermos, esta mal, algo le pasa. por lo tanto agregaria lo que deberia no ser anormal es el hecho de poder cambiar.
paulo: como todos los años llevare a mis vacaciones en piriapolis uno de tus libros. asi disfrutare mas de ellas, muy buen año
hi dear
I can’t belive that have an email from you .
I love your books and read all of them and the last one ” the winner stands alon ”
that was perfect
I am from iran and have a little girl . i want to send you an email but coulden,t .
my english is so poor , forgive me !
happy christmas
with regards toktam
chatori… i’m just interested in persian culture , that’s why i became interested when u said ur from iran… i hope we could be friends.
.
I am a miserable soul whenever tried to be normal. So I don’t.
Each of us is a unique flower in God’s garden, then why conform to
the rigid rules.We should be enhancing the world with our individualities/fragrance.
Well said Rita! And this just came to me…
“What’s that beautiful flower there”, asked the boy.
“I don’t know, you could ask it”, replied his father.
“It didn’t answer”, the boy replied.
“Did you listen with your ears or your heart? Ask again.”
The boy smiled. “Ah”, he said.
“Well?” asked the father.
“There are no words, but it is a beautiful flower”, replied the boy.
With love, Daniel
Not letting yourself to be acquainted with the reality of your own-self. Can not accept the fact that you have your own limitations and can not do things you desire to do. Insecure to people who can do things you can not.
Minding that people might get you kicked out when you’ve said something wrong and incongruent with what they’re thinking.
Staying inside the box is much better than getting out because living inside gives more security and some what gives you some feeling of self-appreciation, without minding the thoughts of others.
While most of them say that leaving the box is the best way to deal with the world and the environment, you tend to withdraw when you have been caught by your own limitations. With this, you tend to go back and place yourself on the corner of your box and ponder on things you have done outside – which is being a good person, what you have done outside seems to make you bad.
well, the hardest of all, but true is, saying yes to others,when u really want to say no..very often we do this. only then people around us take us as a normal one, otherwise we wud be taken as a rebel with no ethics..not fit for real world.
following a good behaviour manual books because you are afraid of hell and not because you agree with the good behaviour.
believing in true love ( because I have lost mine)
It doesn’t change the fact that it was true, does it? If it was. If it wasn’t, it might be the true love is still ahead of you and in the meantime you’re growing …
Actually, I think believing in true love is quite abnormal nowadays :-)
Dear Aditya,
I destroyed what I thought was my true love. But through this loss I found true love – it’s beautiful essence. Sometimes the loss is necessary to find the treasure. All the best in your search!
Love Karin
It is true that if the world follows what is written here, it will be transformed to a so called heaven, full of saints and no worries. But are we sure of a world with only saints and no negatives at all will be interesting enough to live!!May be our world is programmed in a way where all the bad and good elements are equally important. I guess if everyday is a Sunday, Sundays will lose their charm. Living life believing my inner thoughts and acting accordingly without harming others is my policy. Marry Christmas :)
Paulo, you are the wizard of words. Your magical words has been changing my life for years.
I am the one that leaved eveything for a miracle. One day you gave me hope, a powerful hope. Now,… I don’t know what to say.
Never answering my mails even in one word. I don’t know you are seeing me or not, you are care about me or you want to show me a bigger way.
After that nightmare, I become stronger. But I still don’t realy know why you never answered me again.
I wish you the biggest year of your life.
I read an article today that goes in line with this week’s topic (normality).
Article: Jesus was a revolutionary, he did not work at Wallmart.
Link: http://billtieleman.blogspot.com/2009/12/jesus-did-not-work-at-wal-mart-jesus.html
On #7: I don’t think seeking financial success is wrong. Let us not frown upon ambitions or dreams to get rich or wealthy. It’s not really about the money, it’s about the convenience that money can provide :) We’ll have to admit, we need money. But it shouldn’t be the basis of our happiness!
ADDING TO THE INVENTORY OF NORMALITY
Never ever watch cartoons, it’s kids’ stuff. Or at least never admit you enjoy wathing them. You are a mature grown-up.
A mature grown-up WHAT though? :-D
I love cartoons, not all of them, I prefer the old ones!
I just love them!
I laugh out loud, sometimes!
Dear Den Rod…
So do I love the “old ones”…
here is real old one…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8OYvHPpGDY&feature=related
Peace on Earth…
With loving kindness,
Satora
Hey! Who turned off the light?
hheheheheheh…
Or perhaps not eating gummy-bears, because it is the kids candy. Even if You like the taste and even perhaps if You are allergic to chocolate and You’d have it as an alternative sweet. Why not eat them? Of course, because the gummy bears are silly kids stuff, so if You eat them, that must mean You are a little bit dumb for sure.
(This is written jokingly, just to make sure.)
Love,
L
Hey, dear Liina,
I think we should just do whatever we want!
love
den
hihih!!!…
This is cruel! :PP
I don’t have time for cartoons but whenever I do I like watching cartoons. They remind me of the child I used to be and what I’ve lost from the past. And sure they are a good food for imagination and having some good laughs.
Do not underestimate cartoons. :DDDD
Love
Olta
They’re not only good for your imagination, just watch’em the whole way through and you’ll realize how much FUN they are!
The FUN comes the FIRST… :D
Saying “I love you” on FB and other Social networking sites to people
1. You don’t know
2. You have never met
3. You never will meet!
:)
Listening to economists and experts explain why and how the economy collapsed when they were all wrong before the collapse.
Placing greater value on something man made over something natural.
I have to laugh at this because ever since I was a child when I hear this I can’t help asking “if it’s made by man, isn’t it natural?” :)
…deciding what is normal and what isn’t by categorizing…
Always the conflict between wanting to belong, and wanting to be free. Will we ever?
I am glad you provide us with a living example for us to learn and be inspired by.
Happy Holiday Blessings,
/Alexandra
Not looking that homeless fellow on the stree in the eye.
Thinking that your (or my) path is the only right path.
Thinking that who you say you are is who you are.
Putting more faith in your ego than your heart.
Thinking that your words are my problem.
(These are the lessons in normality I was taught only tonight.)
With love
Alison
Going to a place of worship everyday and believing in God and all that he stands for but then being prejudiced against other races and then destroying your own child’s happiness because of this prejudice. Didn’t God teach that everybody is equal and to treat everyone equally?
An educational system that requires young people to study subjects they dislike for 5 years : ( Love Breda
…so they can learn to be just Another Brick in the Wall:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Py5aPLG348
:)
Forcing yourself to do-say-think something unusual, just to prove that you do not belong to “normality” :)
Love and Happy Christmas to everyone!
Rossana Curri
to number 9–sometimes they are seen as having no ambition…in my circle I am considered flat-out foolish and reckless for not pursuing money and happiness instead. I wonder if the courage to seek out what is not considered “normal” makes some people feel threatened??? Thoughts??
Some people need rules, but i don’t complain them,it’s their
choise and responsibility,i respect their choise.
Perhaps they have not the same means as us .
Our society is based on this system, we don’t learn at school
the real values of live or to listen to our Heart.
Today i realised for the first time that i have a Heart,i was
convinced i didn’t have One ,it sound very ridiculus.
Zele
Playing God when you shouldn’t , being human is a enough of a challange !
Amen to that! I wonder sometimes if being God would actually be easier :)
I had LOVE “THE WINNER STAND ALONE”, is an illuminant book Paulo, a clear mirror of reality…have a wonderfull christmass…I wish hug you again soon…
love
Karen
isn’t developing this list a way to judge others??? am I really better if I don’t follow the patern??? instead can I turn around and see how I can improve my own life and impact, in a positive way, those I come in contact with?
Is this just a perception of my own reality as everybody has different realities?
I can only pray that God guides to do what he thinks is good without being judgemental, arrogant or obnoxious, for I’ve been given the choice but I still pray for guidance. This is such a hard task, I know for I have judged myself, but life has turned out to be a path to enlighnment.
Love and Peace in Jesus Christ
Monica
I can see the point you are making, Monica, and I agree – one should focus more on one’s own development than upon judging others. However, at least for myself, I find it quite useful to read these comments that people have offered – their evaluations of what is considered “normal” in our society. This helps me to learn to question certain unspoken rules and assumptions that I might otherwise take for granted. Just questioning these norms, I think, is a way of opening up to other ways of being, other possibilities, other choices, that I might not have considered otherwise.
In this sense, I think it is good to question authority – whether it takes the overt form of institutions (such as governments or schools) or whether it takes the more covert form of social and cultural norms. Questioning is just the first step to opening up one’s eyes to other ways of seeing the world. It doesn’t necessarily mean that one is judging others or that one seeks to change how others behave or think. It does, however, give one the space in which to change oneself if one so chooses.
Another one can be: to be used to living
At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge here:
It is “normal” to go out and buy hundreds of dollars worth of gifts for friends and family members – things they do not really need and often do not really want or even like – when that same amount of money, channelled in the proper direction, could actually drastically enhance the lives of those, whom we do not know, who are truly living in poverty and who, in many cases, are at risk of starving to death. > This is Christmas? Somehow this confuses me. We celebrate Christ’s birth, but we forget the most important lesson: to FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE. If Christ were alive today, somehow I don’t think he would want his friends to buy him Christmas gifts. He would say, “Take that money, instead, and give it to the poor.”
You are so right… God bless you for what you wrote.
It’s a great lesson.
Love,
Rossana Curri
Remember though that money is neutral. No one need be poor
if two things occur 1. The individual decides to not be “poor” in spirit” and make new choices. 2. The surrounding organizations and governements no longer have an advantage in keeping a majority of people less wealthy.
There is enough for everyone who relaixes it so! Money Is Free!
My sister and my father asked me what could I want for Christmas. She likes to make presents to everyone and she can find very nice things. My father is used to make presents just for habitude on these days. Once we liked that because it was making that day special, but since these two last years the joy we used to feel it is not the same, and so I answered to my sister, I want you to by me MUCH LOVE and tell me what it is that you want from me?
the day Jesus is born it is supposed that it should bring Happiness and Joy, no matter the way.
Your way Dear Savita, would bring much more Joy than usual.
Love
Olta
Yes, Savita and would we recognize him??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzcrbFECxD0
With loving kindness,
Satora
Oh – believing that only the males in this universe can do anything involving hardware, utilities, wiring etc..
that even if there is a 32 year old capable woman in the room, it is better to moan and wish that a 31 year old man be called in to do the job properly.. even if he lives thirty miles or 3 hours away….
…or expecting that, just because he is a man, he knows how to use a hammer. Some men don’t! And that’s okay.
I only have three words to describe my feelings. “I love this.” It’s as simple as life, just putting aside all forms of complexities.