(a version of this article circulates in internet having me as its author. In fact, I did not write it, but I made a few corrections and decided to republish it here)
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ESPANOL AQUI: CERRANDO CIRCULOS
PORTUGUES AQUI: ENCERRANDO CICLOS
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One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.
You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.
Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.
Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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THANK YOU PAULO… Infinite Love and Light to you and your family. I send you the italian translation of the text… :) Cris
Ecco la traduzione italiana per chi gradisce :)
Bisogna sempre sapere quando una fase si conclude. Se ci ostiniamo a restare più a lungo del tempo necessario, perdiamo la felicità e il significato delle altre fasi attraverso le quale dobbiamo passare.
Chiudere i cicli, chiudere le porte, finire i capitoli – qualunque nome gli diamo, ciò che conta è lasciare nel passato i momenti di vita che sono finiti o andati.
Hai perso il tuo lavoro? Ha una relazione d’amore giunta al termine? Hai lasciato la casa dei tuoi genitori ? Sei andato a vivere all’estero? Ha una lunga amicizia che finì tutto a un tratto? Si può trascorrere molto tempo chiedendo perché questo è successo.
Puoi proporre a te stesso di non fare un altro passo fino a trovare il motivo per cui certe cose che sono state così importante e solide nella tua vita si sono trasformate in polvere, proprio così. Ma tale atteggiamento sarà terribilmente stressante per tutti i soggetti coinvolti: i tuoi genitori, tuo marito o la moglie, i tuoi amici, i tuoi figli, tua sorella.
Ognuno finisce i capitoli, girando nuove foglie per salire su con la vita, gli altri si sentono e si sentirano male di vederti ad un punto morto.
Le cose passano, e il meglio che possiamo fare è quella di lasciarli andare via davvero.
Ecco perché è così importante (per quanto doloroso possa essere!) Per distruggere i ricordi, spostare lontano da se e dare un sacco di cose agli orfanotrofi, ma anche vendere o donare i libri che hai in casa.
Tutto in questo mondo visibile è una manifestazione del mondo invisibile, di ciò che sta accadendo nei nostri cuori – e sbarazzarsi di certi ricordi significa anche fare un certo spazio per altri ricordi a prendere il loro posto.
Lascia andare le cose. Rilasciarle e Staccati da loro.
i loved it …Thank you & Happy new year 2012
es muy cierto de que para empezar un nuevo ciclo o una nueva etapa hay que cerrar el anterior yo lo e logrado pero cuesta,no es facil pero se puede.me gustan mucho sus refleciones dan para pensar .DON PAULO LE DESEO UNA MUY LINDA NAVIDAD Y UN MUY BUEN AÑO NUEVO
I’m superstitious. Therefore I wish no happy New Year. I have read this blog post on New Year’s Eve. I thought at this time how right he is. And today I think the same way. Thank you for that. I can still remember New Year’s Eve. In the night I wrote the prologue to my story, it was suddenly there. I had already worked for several months and no idea how I get into the book. Suddenly it was there. I will connect to this blog post and the 2010 New Year’s Eve always pleasant memories. I hope it was for all sof you such a pleasant year as for me. And I did it. Close circles, and open new ones.
I wish you all a wonderful day
Reading this made me cry; the truth really does hurt.
I’m not happy and I know I have so many chapters to close in my life but it’s so difficult when you do not know what is coming : the best or the worst ! I always know the worst…
Hi Corrine,
to think of it, the worst.. that would be frustating. But when remember, God give us the Life and we are still Breathing, I think, that is a gift! :-)
So true. It’s not easy to shut the door, but it is verry important. I am trying to do it. Sometimes I just open those doors, but there is nothing helpful :-). But there are many other doors… waiting to be opened…
gracias por tan linda reflexion … increible !!!1 es justo por lo q estoy pasando en este momento ….
this is a super awesome messgae .. its wonderfully put up and in such a simple manner that eachone can easily absorb what it means.. a wonderful start to a new year.. Happy New Year..!! :) :)
i tend to over-analyse everything all the time. I know we have to let go of the past. But I feel I have to understand completely before i let go. and the process of understnading goes on forever.
But I am gonna let go of all that in the past and move ahead. Thank You so much for this beautiful blog :)
thank you.
Lindo !..
Paulo, your words are always such an inspiration! Thank you soooo much!
Its hard to let go… but harder to know when to let go..
i have read this post a dozen of times!! i just love it and it always remind me and help me to realize that i just cant hold on to someone no matter how much i wanted to…some cycles really do need to be closed!
El cerrar círculos es una práctica dolorosa, al principio, pero muy necesaria. Feliz año!!!
I would change the ending of this sentence
“If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.”
I’d say instead that moving on is necessary to keep the happiness and the meaning of having done certain things, of having being in certain places or with that person.
If we insist in remaining bonded to a situation that has lost meaning the risk is that I may lose the meaning of the all of it and the happiness that was for me there may turn into sadness and boredom.
So moving on is necessary also to preserve the meaning of things we did.
I totally agree with you…
Mr Coelho, thank you for the excellent and very encouraging text. It fits perfectly my current situation: I will resign myself this month from the company I worked last 14 years. The future is totally unknown. However I’m excited and ready to open a new door in my life -first in career wise, maybe later on in terms of a whole life. Once more thank you. I wish you a lot of inspiration to your life and peaceful holiday season. Kind regards, Irmeli PS: I was happy to read from local Finnish magazine that You and Mr. Tarja Turunen are going to make a musical co-operation in the future. Can’t wait to hear about it!
guardare avanti<3
good thoughts… and I need to do this… but how can one let go of losing their child…. especially when he is alive but not with u…. he is somewhere across oceans… in some other country. how do u let go of the memories. I want to hold on to them because they are priceless and sweetest moments of my life… but they also hurt me now and cause me loose focus on my present life.. how do I make a choice between holding on to them because they were most fulfilling moments of my life or letting them go because they are hurting my present… wish it was simple…
AMEN!
This is the most beautiful thing I have read in a while … just wonderful!
Very appropriate for the New Year – thank you Paulo.
Really nice tough to read….love this so much…thanks to the writer.
Zec
….and if you don´t like who you have become……or amI stuck then…..when does the change take place……
when you see and feels it or before
Thank you very much for this reminder.leaving is the most difficult thing to do, but I have to move on. As what Ms.Jodi Picoult said,to untie a knot is to cut it and start all over again.
Como a minha alma precisava dessas palavras….
thanks alot for this lesson…
this year an important chapter in my working life has come to an end. a bad end, i suffered a lot, cried and asked myself “why?”. now i’m happy, i have a new job that i like, it gives me satisfaction and most of all gives me the possibility to live my dream.
this year i’ve also lost my grandma, and i’ve always looked at grandpa’s decision to give away all her things without understanding why he was doing so, and why he seemed to have an hurry in it… now i can see his choice is right, a chapter has come to end… old people just “know” what is right…
It seems u talking to me .. Well, for real when u lost some one or something so important u never want to loss those never even want to imagine with out them and in moment all tht have become past believe me tht moment even take ur ability to think to realize the reality u might be most intelligent in ur class in ur friends but it will destroy every each thing .. i suffered from such pain even now when i’m myself i find my self surrounded by those ugly memories and i start crying ..
i have a request to u all .. if u know someone who is feeling like this because of any thing please don’t let him b alone he need u more when he realise don’t let ur friend go when he is feeling and giving ur frnd ship a value …
excuse my english
Everything you write always comes when I need it the most! Thank you for being who you are and share your wisdom with your readers :-)
Esto es cierto, pero también es cierto que cuando persigues tus sueños, cuando no tienes el viento a tu favor, cuando luchas contra la adversidad, cuando no todos estan contigo, pero tu luchas como un guerrero, le pides al creador del Universo que te dé la fortaleza y la sabiduría de entender que no pudes declinar, que lo que haces es bien visto y aprobado ante los ojos de Dios, entonces continúa luchando, insiste que el sabor de la victoria es impresionante y delicioso. En mi caso salí ganador, luché mucho hasta conseguirlo, no cerré el capítulo, no pasé la hoja, insistí e insistí, ahora a conservarlo y a disfrutarlo, porque como tú dices, los sueños tienen un precio, grande o pequeño, pero lo tienen.
I just finished reading and this post really hit a spot on my heart…:( and I just realized that I really have to let go an dmake some room for the new memories//:)
Thanks……Now i can correlate why i am not happy in my life as i have not closed many chapters which i left open in the hope of a miracle…..
i am already closing those painfull cycles..happy new year!
As the cycles of 2011 come to a close, I’m grateful for the angels sent my way throughout my life, who have helped me to let go and be free of people and situations that had been purposed for a reason or a season. Sometimes, all we need is that angel bending over the blade of grass that is our life, whispering, “Grow, grow”.
This is beautiful. I read all your posts, but I read this one a lot. I just posted it the other day on my facebook page. I’m moving overseas in a few months. I think to Dubai. Definitely the synchronicities are showing up more and more. It’s amazing. Thank you for being my guide. ❤ I can’t wait to meet you sometime-hopefully soon! I know I will get to meet you! :) I’ll try to do better on commenting and maybe get a twitter account. xoxoxox
Great & timely article to close cycle of 2011 & start a new chapter in 2012. It’s the best Christmas present to myself! Thanks for sharing & republishing this.
E muito frustante quando por causa do passado nao se consegue mover no presente…sempre digo que ha que fechar uma porta e deitar a chave fora para que outra porta se abra….o problema e a espera entre uma porta e outra,o ser humano nao consegue esperar sentado a porta que se vai abrir mas no momento de espera vem a ansiedade,desilusao,e o termo que usamos muito,”Talvez agora vai ser diferente” e voltamos sempre para a mesma porta.sem falar no esforco que se faz a procurar a chave…as vezes ate se arrumba a porta…lol…somente porque e a unica porta que temos conhecido e concentrado as nossas forcas…Creio que 2012 e tempo de mudanca e sim de criar coragem e em fe fechar portas….obrigado Paulo!!
nao respondi tao mal….esta tudo trocado….por favor
Thank You Paulo!! Just, Thanks <3
When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually
to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through
a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid
you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like
a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to
be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to
an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they
act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our
need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your
turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of
peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is
real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you
must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job
is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned
to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that
love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, all of you, UNKNOWN PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD. You are ALL part of me as I am part of you. herefore I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
perfect!!! I agree with you, my freind:))
Thank you for posting this ! This is exactly what I do and experience, closing circles, making place for new things in life and meeting new people, some stay longer than others, but they all have a purpose, good or bad; funny or sad… Since I realise how it works, it’s really exciting; this thing called life !!!!
como siempre tus post me llegan en un momento justo, al despertar me dije es hora de cerrar ciclos, por ke me estan hiriendo, gracias Paulo de corazon, por ke con tus palabras e historias estoy redescubriendome, como soy, ke dios te siga llenado de bendiciones, feliz navidad y un muy prospero año nuevo! besos para ti y para cris
today is my ideal moment, it was wonderful to read thanks
Thank you for your helpful and interesting thoughts.
This is very helpful in making me realize that there’s more to life than being stuck on things that isnt true anymore. It’s about moving on. Look for something better and occasions that could make you feel fulfilled. Life is about contentment :)
Thank you so much for that thought provoking story. I was and still am at a crossroad thinking “how am I supposed to keep progressing if I keep regressing here?”. For a little while I was stuck where I was. This story taught me its okey to let go. Thank you again for helping me move on.
me gusta leer estas reflexiones, me alimentan el alma y realmente me ayudad a repensar mi vida, también me ayudan a poder dar algunos consejos a mis hijos. muchas grscias
Everything that happens is someone important to yourself. But understanding it is a different thing? But if you are able to listen to your heart, so it is perhaps easier to understand!♥
Its contradictory to some of the other things you say – “Miracles only happen if you believe in miracles” “Knock, and the door will open” “Dreams are not negotiable” “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” ???
Ur heart tells u when it over…like the song says….it aint over til its over
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