ESPANOL CLICAR AQUI: Matando los suenos
PORTUGUES CLICAR AQUI: Matando os sonhos
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The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.
The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.
And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.
When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.
And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons
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I haven’t discovered my dream yet…I have things I wish I had the courage to follow through and work towards, but had a family and pushed it down. Now chronic pain has left me unable to work outside the home…so I try to make each day a joy for my soul…but I’m surrounded by people who only know how to bring joy to themselves not others. I don’t want to feel lonely however I am lonely…..as I live in a house with loved ones that don’t express themselves as I….and only care about their feelings, never showing affection in the true sense…..If I feel it , I say it…Expression to me is cleansing…rather it be positive or negative it needs to come out.
Para refleccionar…
Our dreams are one of the most precious things we have in life – and that’s why it’s hard to keep them. But it’s worth the effort.
Another symptom may be that when someone stop seeing beyond his/her life routines. When someone stop looking for other possibilities that are always there to be explored. It is said that God comes into that heart which has space and with such a busy schedule and routines we don’t find any space within ourselves. Space is always there but we have put so much into it that we have almost forgot what is there anymore. So confusion, depression, uncertainty, anger, and all other such symptoms appear.
well thats true,…that the above 3 factors affect the liveliness of life, and i agree with the last one, as the we go through the age, we 4get to enjoy life and shape too mature styles for ourselves.
Mr. Coelho, I agree with your views and the way you put it is persuasive. It is true that everyone has the same 24 hours to a day, but some people, who have a passion and dream to pursue, somehow seem to derive 25 hours out of each day they live. Besides other factors, guess the biggest reason is their unwavering resolve and focus on their goals.
Most people live their lives the way they are conditioned to, since birth, by the society and surroundings they live in. It is people who break out of these shackles and societal norms and think beyond livelihood who dream big and realize their them for a more satisfying and happy life. So, in that sense, for someone to seek greater happiness in life, one has to dream big and move out of their ‘comfort zone’, which nurtures status quo.
As they say, a smooth road doesn’t make good drivers. So, one has to brave several obstacles and learn to accept them as part of their journey towards their ultimate goal. To use an oft-repeated cliche, quitters don’t win, and winners don’t quit. So, those who show courage to pursue their dreams single-mindedly are the ones who eventually realize them.
Well said, especialy to ‘think beyond livlihood’
GOD bless you Mr Paulo
and i thank GOD because there’s a person like yourself in this world because you are amaziiiiiiiiing. i really love what you write
Mr. Paulo Coelho
The human race is previlaged to have you in this life time, for you have been and still are a very influencial man. Thanks for impacting in our lives in such a remarkable way. its amazing how you are able to express your ideas with such simplicity and a profound message. Thanks again for the well organized thoughts…… Que Deus te abençoe em abundancia!
And when we realise that we have killed our dreams, how do we revive them?
Thank you, Mr Coelho, for so much inspiration, revelation, and realisation.
J.
Excellent question,how? But never have regrets,it is a waste of time,try to realize some others
reassess Jo.
to take an example, using my experience….
I wanted to be in international development..
i studied but in time, life left me off track.
I took a look at my life and took small steps to refind that ‘environment’ i was seeking. but you know what.. i was now ten years older and life had taught me those important lessons. what i wanted and more importantly, needed THEN.. did not matter or count for much NOW.
i was glad i had tried to refind my old road.. at least i could feel wise and enriched from the situation, rather than left devoid or behind in life.
so, reassessing.. was a chance to see that my needs not need insist that i went along a specific road anymore..
nor did it mean i needed to fast track.
in fact.. taking heed of these life experiences, the road opens up, rather than closes.. and suddenly those steps forward are no longer tiny ones. and.. i am walking forward with new hope, with more choices and options.
it’s strange, but true!
x
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, trying to tell us what comes up in life so we can avoid those mistakes and not have the same regrets, thank you for being so open and honest with something so personal.
I think making it a HABIT to choose to live the way we want is necessary in changing ourselves for the better.
I remembered a lesson from Stephen covey – habits can be made and un made everyday. What we need is:
1. why we should do something
2. want to do something about the problem – willingness
3. how to do – the skill of how to get out of it
i think the last one is just being sincere with yourself…stop putting yourself after everyone else…YOU ARE NUMBER ONE
Wonderful, as always.
In Swedish:
De 3 symtomen på att våra drömmar dör
Det första symtomet på att våra våra drömmar dör är bristen av tid. De mest upptagna människorna jag har känt i mitt liv har alltid haft tid att göra allt. De som inte gör någonting är alltid trötta och uppmärksammar inte den lilla mängd arbete som krävs att de gör. De klagar hela tiden på att dagen är för kort. Sanningen är att de är rädda för att kämpa Den goda kampen.
Det andra symtomet på att våra drömmar dör ligger i våra förutfattade meningar och sanningar. Eftersom vi inte vill se livet som ett stort äventyr, börjar vi tänka på oss själva som kloka, rättvisa och korrekta för att sedan inte begära så mycket utav livet. Vi ser bortom murarna av vår dag-till-dagliga existens, vi hör ljudet av lansar brytas, vi känner doften av damm och svett och vi ser de stora nederlagen och elden i krigarnas ögon. Men vi ser aldrig glädjen, den oerhörda glädjen i hjärtat hos dem som är engagerade i striden. För dem är varken segern eller nederlaget viktigt. Det som är viktigt är bara att de kämpar Den goda kampen.
Och slutligen, är det tredje symptomet på våra drömmars bortgång, frid. Livet blir en söndagseftermiddag, vi ber om något storslaget, och vi upphör att kräva något annat än vad vi är villiga att ge. I det tillståndet, tänker vi på oss själva som mogna, vi lägger undan vår ungdoms fantasier, och vi söker personlig och professionell framgång. Vi är förvånade när folk i vår ålder säger att de fortfarande vill ha ut det eller det av livet. Men egentligen, djupt i våra hjärtan vet vi att det som hänt är att vi har avstått från kampen om våra drömmar – vi har vägrat att kämpa Den goda kampen.
När vi avstår från våra drömmar och finner frid, går vi igenom en kort period av lugn. Men de döda drömmarna börjar ruttna inom oss och smittar hela vårt väsen.
Vi blir grymma mot dem omkring oss, och sedan börjar vi rikta denna grymhet mot oss själva. Det är då sjukdomar och psykoser uppstår. Det vi försökt undvika i strid – besvikelse och nederlag – har kommit till oss på grund av vår feghet.
Och så en dag, gör de döda, bortkastade drömmarna det svårt att andas och vi söker faktiskt döden. Det är döden som befriar oss från vår visshet, från vårt arbete och från denna förfärligt fridfulla söndagseftermiddag.
från Pilgrimsresan
I orginal postad här: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/02/20/our-dream/
Paulo Coelho på svenska: http://www.facebook.com/PauloCoelhoSverige
Översättning: O La Vie
in some comments i have noticed that author has thanked only to them, who blindly believed on him, such a great writer, have no words, you know for what.
not true
How beautiful! I’ve always thought these thoughts and never knew how to express them myself. Very, very well done.
Thank you Naina <3
I will heed where my passion is saying to go as best I can !
:)))))))) happy to help..all the best in ur life <3
Being at peace with oneself, the third point, is very incorrectly represented here. The highest level of motivation and efficiency can be achieved when one treats ‘happiness and grief’ equally. Being in peace could very well bode a correct realizations of ones abilities and shortcomings, as well as detachment from results. Some more pondering needed.
thanks for inspiring… im starting to love your words..
you have the right, most of the the dreams are living but not all are killing
all my life, i went in search of love, lost quite a bit on the way but now am there. i feel so full that i cant think of anything more. what does one do when one dream gets fulfilled in a way that one dreams of?
does this mean i lack direction or am i in a lazy sunday?
where does one go next?
You create new dreams and new challenges. Beware of extended periods of complacency and comfort because they eventually lead to boredom. New experiences nurture passion, ignite new passions and revive those passions which have a tendency to be smothered by complacency and comfort.
Remember,
Life is the train, not the station (The Aleph)
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! The timing could not have been more apt. This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of right now as I stand at the crossroads and have to choose which path to take
I strongly disagree with the use of the word ‘peace’ in relation to rotting inside and bitterness. I think the words ‘laziness’ or ‘apathy’ are more apt. If we all had peace in our hearts and souls, that does not mean we would not fight the good fight; it means we would have let go of resistance and pain. peace can only be a good thing.
thank you for sharing with us your God-given gift. that is opening our hearts and mind-and finding the fire again
Living out the fantasies of my youth REQUIRES personal and professional achievement. What fantasy would not?
Both can be combined very often, if only you try to.
“If you follow the majority, you will get no further than the majority.
If you make your own path, you are likely to wind up at destinations
that the majority only dream of.”
— from “Life’s Secret Handbook (Reminders for Adventurous Souls Who Want to Make a Big Difference in This World)”
“Most people go to their graves regretting things they haven’t done.
The easiest way to become like them is by joining society’s chorus instead of singing your own songs.”
— from “Life’s Secret Handbook (Reminders for Adventurous Souls Who Want to Make a Big Difference in This World)”
Paulo, what if following my dreams means leaving someone who loves me unconditionally, and needs me, behind? Is that not a selfish and cruel act?
Hi Amy – I wanted to reply to you from having been in a similar position. Living your truth is the most loving gift you can give yourself and to those who love you. Hugs – Z
I do have the exact same question!!
Amy, I’m struggling with similar mixed feelings. But it’s easier to see from outside. You’re asking if following your dreams can be a selfish and cruel act. Yes, it’s selfish. But it would be a lot more selfish and cruel from that person to keep you from following your dreams. That way you both lose and become unhappy.
You are not responsible for somebody else’s happiness. Only your own.
Take care.
Thank you all for your words – we are all in this together, it seems. Love x
I´we done exactly what you are asking about! And i thought i would be selfish and i must say, i was pretty scared, because i knew how far i will go and how lonely i would be. I left and pursuited my dream, i worked very hard the last to years hoping for the best, and last year my dream was nearly fulfilled. My relationship went up and down the whole time and soon work took over, so much that i got the burn out syndrom. When i thought that i am alone, the one who loved me unconditionaly (just the way i was before i left him for my dream) came and helped me up. Maybe my situation is not the best example (because my dream ended bad), you have to trust in love. He will never leave you, if your love is, as you said, unconditionaly. Best wishes and good luck !
In the “Like the flowing River” Paulo says that “we must struggle for our dreams, but we must also know that, when certain paths prove impossible, it would be best to save our energies in order to travel other roads” (22). I don’t think this means that you have given up on a dream, rather it means that your dreams path has changed and may still return, but at that time you are best served to … flow like the river. I am also learning that when I look myself in the eye, really look – i know the answers to most of my questions. If we learn to listen to our hearts, we will be bale to distinguish between a dream and a zahir. I find I often create a Zahir when I’m too afraid to live the dream and when I choose to satisfy some weird selfish need, conscious or unconscious.
Thanks Paulo for your words… I choose to find time, I will wallow in ambiguity and uncertainty as that is what makes my blood flow even faster, and I will live passionately… at least tomorrow!
I am very impresed. and have one question if you may please answer.
If you are not like this, if you as the awesome Paulo Cohelo are doing all it needs to achieve your big dreams, and you did.
How did you know the feelings of people who don’t. How did you write this article. Did you put your self in the shoes of these ppl or how is it done.
Wishes,
Khalid AL-masry
A starting Screenwriter
The dreams are a goal and grace is a state. We will never active all of our dreams and strive as we might we may never achieve grace – but what a journey – what a journey indeed.
If any one would like there is a body of writing at http://www.stjamesandthegang.com from 4 people who completed the pilgrimage… Paul – your words from the Alchemist were rarely far from the mind. All of 4 pilgrims have family and jobs and the question that echoed in our minds again and again was “Is this selfish”? The answer we came to was yes – but also very worthwhile and benefiting both ourselves and our families…. Yet some 5 months later – more questions are still unanswered, and some not yet asked.
Bless your heart for all that you have done and will do.
Burke
liked it
Powerful. And this is what we pass on to our children. May we live our dreams and teach our children to follow theirs too.
I always loved your words Mr. Coelho. Everything you described in this passage is applying to my current life situation. I have dreams of being a Broadway Theatre or Film actor. But I’m constantly noticing and telling myself that there are others more talanted than me. Sometimes I’ll just be irresponsible and not prepare for an audition. It makes me feel weak. And although I try to hide it and smile, I’m feeling weaker everyday.
It’s not who’s more talented. It’s being at the right place at the right time and who you know! Trust me, I’ve been in this business long enough. Also, always believe in yourself. This is the most important. So don’t stop pursuing YOUR dream! Just do it. No regrets.
When I saw the title, I didn’t even want to read it and left it till the last thing I have to do online, even though the window was already opened (but opened new windows to obscure its presence).
Then, finally I read it, and I actually feel pain. Your words of arrow shot through my heart as a hunter aiming for his prey.
Thank you. Very much. You may not know just how connected we are, and yet your words speak to me as if I am speaking to myself. Or a more evolved version of myself giving me cosmic slaps via your powerful words.
I need to stop whatever it is I am doing and to stop procrastinating… and to begin to do and do and do, so that I have time to do what I want to. And I have been applying this endeavour into my life recently… doing many things I only thought or said to do but never done. Now, my visions are realising. Slowly but surely.
Bless you, from my heart.
sir coelho,
can you tell me pleaze the defference between a dream and a zahir
i have a dream, a big one, and very far one, but sometimes i’m wondering if it isn’t a zahir and if i soudn’t get rid of it instead of seeking to get it??
i hope yoy will reply to my post
get rid of your zahir
sir,
can you please tell me how to diffentiate between a dream and a zahir
I do not want to bother, but if you allow me to say my opinion. If I’m wrong Paulo can correct me. I think you are following a dream. A Zahir would not ask. A Zahir is probably like a heart attack. You know if you have one, even if you will not admit it.
I wish you a wonderful evening
thanx Heimo Kruschinski, what you suggest is very important, indeed , zahir never asks :)
It what you’ve said is true :-)
thnx for the reply , that’s exactly what i need to know! is it a dream or a zahir :/
Maybe some of us are afraid of making our dreams true because they are keeping us alive…We fear that when we manage to fulfilling our dreams there will be nothing else to think about and makes us so happy and calm,to make us feel so alive…Maybe we are so coward or maybe we want to live with the thought that some day we will manage to make them true and although we admit that this will never happen, our hearts still hide a hope…We choose to live in a illusion than to live our dreams because we dont believe in ourselves and we afraid of the unknown…We have to get some faith…thats all we need…Hope and Faith from Greece…
Often there is a long period of uncertainties and having to say goodbye. Although goodbye is the hardest thing, but worse is stagnation when the river stops flowing to the sea of her destination.
i believe living in the moment, being happy i may say so, even if you are struggling is strength, but strength is also to break down, cry, accept defeat, n get up once again! dream with all your might and passion…but never ever give up your present for the future! future will be beautiful, but what is in the present, thts all you have n thts all u can simply count on!
God has gifted you for us
thanks Paulo for that delightful insight… i am an engineer by profession, but my real passion lies in english literature. i always wanted to pursue higher studies in literature, but the society i grew up in demanded me to land in a profession which would help me to earn money. I also had to take into consideration the fact that i have to look after my parents when they become old. If I had pursued my dream, I might not have landed this job today which helps me lead a respectable life. I hate my job so much, and sometimes I am tempted to run away from all this and start anew. maybe learn a new language, meet new people, indulge in literature debates and stuff like that. But, the moral ethics of this society will question my decision and it might haunt me forever. what I am trying to say is, when you are caught up between your personal dreams and your responsibilities, more often than not, you have to sacrifice your dreams.
It is still your choice how to spend your time, your energy, your passion. I am an engineer too and have sidestepped into education as a way to find greater fulfilment in my career.
There are possibilities, finding them is the challenge.
The Alchemist taught me to start looking.
I hope you discover your path
I so much agree with you. I now realise that as much as we want to live out our dreams we still have responsibilities especially our parents and in some instances our children. I believe that when parents are concerned, I would rather make their lives as comfortable as I best can. We their children still have a long life ahead to eventually live our dreams. I commend you for putting your parents first. Thats exactly what I am doing despite the fact that I would rather be doing something else instead.
As busy you’re …you become creatively innovative…. In Hindi we call it jab vyakti vyasta hota hai srijnatmakta swtah hi aajati hai…
Hi, I am fan of your work
i want to cry now..it proves me weak… :((( but its tough at times..i know it is suppose to be like that, but situation are not always in favor of you and you have to give up at times..
i see what you are saying..
at these times.. i bury my dream somewhere safe.. like a treasure in the ground… and i put it somewhere where no one shall discover/find it, unless i have allowed them.
then, later, when i am ready to go.. to leave and ready to follow my dream.. i find where i buried my dream… and i bring it back to the surface!
i make sure it is cleaned up and the dirt is removed…. from being buried.. depending on how long it has been…..
and with faith, hope and love.. the dream begins again to take shape….
and then
Oh I believe in dreams, and I’ve believed in you. I’ve fought the good fight since a near death experience and then finding your book The Alchemist. But for you to say you would meet me in geneva after I walked the Camino only to pull out 2 days before I finished, with cameraman and sound man having also walked 790km, we were totally devastated….but we picked ourselves up and completed the last 2 days, and hopefully our documentary will still work without you being interviewed…I understand more now after walking the Camino trying to walk in your foot-steps that simply your books and words are your world and not mine….the camino is life itself and I walked in my own foot-steps and found my own sword….and now Ive decided I don’t need to read, listen to anyone else but my own inner voice, my own heart. Thankyou for setting me on my way, thankyou for not being there in Geneva….I walk alone now, tall and proud!
glad to know that you understood…
what a genius
Hope i will keep my dreams
I dont want be an cowardice
You so awesome Paulo
…oooooohhhh my God….help me please!!!! I am killing my dreams…..I lose…..
I have to live for my dreams….. survive….
start making the changes.. small steps, or one big step.. whatever .. i tried the big step and it brought my life ‘back to life’..
but if you have little room for maneouvre, then try little steps.. and maybe, you’ll see that they take you to big places in time…..
and you’ll feel better for having made even a small, tiny step in the first place..
it will be your hunger that will keep you wanting to move on ..
so go dine !
you know. i knew paulo coehlo before 2 days in the library with my aunt i saw his book the winner stands alone and i liked the style of what he write cause i’ve been writing somethings and i think they are similar actully they are just short sentences about what i understood from situations and problems happend with me…. i still didnt read the winner stands alone but i will start reading it soon ….
what if it is tiredness from others standing in your way and stopping your dreams from manifesting?
what if it the dread of going on one more time, to attain your dreams.. yet the fear of dread of having to end up feeling only tired again and without progress is there…?
what at that point? when you CAN go on.. but need to make that move.. and quickly too.. because time waits for no man!
first of all thanku for ur advice and concern.
u seem to be a nice person , and so u have to face more hardships, dont change urself and dont give up on ur dreams if u have been fighting for them, try hard and then if it goes difficult try harder, u are lucky to have a chance to fight for it. seriously, u r there for some reason and the passion should be strong enough to make u try once more, dont worry or care about the people who hinder u from achieving ur dreams , its becoz they knw that u might be able to…..and dont worry about the tym its never too late to achieve ur dreams or to live for them…it is what time is actually given to us for .. ;)
love..
Aaah cool picture, i’ve been there. That was a good dream. during my bike tripi read the book of santiage compostella. really a good book.
I love your words, but I don’t think it’s accurate that peace is a symtpom of giving up on your dreams. Real peace is function of accepting what is so. What you are describing feels like resignation, not peace. One can be at peace while “fighting the good fight” as you call it. Moving toward dreams and taking actions can in and of itself lead to inner peace. My two cents anyway:)
Highly agree with you, I noticed the use of ‘peace’ did not seem right. Perhaps it’s not exactly how it was supposed to come across?!
I used to be full of life, independent and I achieved most of what I set out to do in life until I married someone who does not support my dreams. He obviously pretended to be very supportive and as we all know – a leopard can not hide its skin for long. He has turned out to be what I would describe as a “dream killer.”
v well said,mr Paulo.sometimes i feel u write what happens in life,!!! amazing
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