According to the dictionary: s.f., from the Latin Invidia. Mixture of pain and anger; feeling of displeasure about the prosperity and happiness of someone else; desire to have what others have.
In a Jewish parable: A disciple asks the rabbis about the passage in Genesis:
“The Lord was pleased about Abel and his offer, whereas he was not pleased about Cain and his offer. Cain was exceedingly angry and his face fell. Then the Lord said to him: Why are you angry and why did your face fall?”
The rabbis answered:
“God should have asked Cain: Why are you angry? Was it because I did not accept your offering, or because I accepted the offering of your brother?”
Envy and ethics: For the scientist and researcher Dr. William M. Shelton, envy is a reaction provoked by losers, who seek to evade reality by hiding behind a crusade seeking to reinstate “moral values”, “noble ideas”, and “social justice”.
The situation becomes dangerous when the school system begins to develop in the student the conditioning for despising all those who manage to be successful, always attributing any success to corruption, manipulation and moral degradation.
As the pursuit of success is something inherent to the human condition, the students end up in a schizophrenic process of hating exactly that which would lead them to happiness, thereby increasing the anxiety crises, and reducing the capacity to innovate and improve society.
Satan and the demons: The demons came to complain to the Prince of Darkness. For two years they had tempted a certain monk who lives in the desert.
“We have offered him money, women, all we have in our repertoire, and nothing worked.”
- You don’t know how to do it properly – replied Satan. – Come and see how you should act in a case of this sort.
They all flew to the cavern where the holy monk lived. There, Satan whispered in his ear:
- Your friend Maccarius has just been promoted to Bishop of Alexandria.
Immediately the man blasphemed against the heavens, and lost his soul.
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La envidia al igual que el odio, destruye más al que lo siente , que al destinatario.
How do we stand against sin, when all humans are imperfect sinners and it seems like the only way to become truly appreciated among others is to join the Sinner’s club by increasing the same. Sometimes I just find this whole life (human life) completely wicked. I just feel like I can never win. If I stay true to the Holy Spirit, I have to fight against humanity and vice versa. Thank you for adding your point of view and definitions of the same.
Aloha,
/Alexandra
@Alexandra: Really true. The questions you have in your mind are same as mine. Sometimes it feels like this world is full of sinners.Its a world of selfishness.which gives way to hateredness and envy each other.It seems that staying true to the holy spirit gives us a sense of satisfaction very true. But how long is it really possible ? when people around you are stampeding you for their success? till when can we walk in the path of truth and peace to attain our goals? i think its really necessary to fight back to win. And envy is just another teaching concept to lead our lives…
for those who easily become victim of envy.
don’t limit your self if you lack 1 thing which is being present in any one else on the same time, you must kept in mind that you also awarded by the heaven with such abilities plus perfection which are lacked by the person with whom u have a comparison.
its the hidden enemy which always swallow wisdom & intellect as well.
Regards.
I agree but nowadays in a more complex world envy could easily be a feeling generated from a “friend” so we end up feeling jealous and bad about it…? It is easy to say it is your fault for having these feelings etc but i am not a monk in an island but a person in a city full of satans… still nice passage!
Prof Paulo, It is better to be satisfied of what is fated for us whatsoever is than to waste our time in chassing the wind. Catching the wind is the impossible itself. We must do what we have to in life because it’s our duty for ourselves; but, we have to take into consideration that only what is fated for us will be, just, what is fated for us…( Lan yousibouna illa ma kataba L’lahou lana ), whatsoever we tried. The self is more precious to poisin it in things will never happen…. never.
Envy is but the self-poison…..
much luv
Good one, Paulo and a good reminder. It’s something I believe we are all tempted with. That’s why when we realize that God loves us unconditionally and all with the same intensity, we have nothing to prove, but enjoy that love. Be at peace rested and in return love others.
I love 1Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible
1CO.13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
1CO.13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
1CO.13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
1CO.13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
1CO.13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
1CO.13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
1CO.13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
1CO.13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
1CO.13:9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
1CO.13:10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
1CO.13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1CO.13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1CO.13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
However this is the ideal, and an ideal is something we must strive for, something that helps us discern, measure against to see if what we think, feel or do is right or not. Love is the only answer.
I wish I could debate with you more on these topics.
Whenever I feel envious of someone as hard as it is I try to do something good for that person. It always makes me feel better.
When i was a child, I had nothing. Nothing except a mother who beleived in me and taught me if I worked hard and learned from her mistakes, I would not have nothing forever. I did not envy my friends and neighbors for what they had.
But when my mother died, i felt envy. Envy for every person on Earth who still had a mother. And then i looked around and saw so many people who didn’t work hard, who made terrible mistakes, who lie and cheat and steal, and all these people have more than me. All my hard work, and i still didn’t come out on top, and i felt it was unfair.
Since I had never felt envy before, i was suprised and unhappy with myself. I struggled with this envy for a long time.
But then i learned Gratitude. Gratitude has saved me much envy, as it makes me focus on and appreciate all i do have and all i have accomplished. And if that’s less than others, well that’s life. It’s a whole lot more than when I started in life and I am deeply thankful for that.
And yet, the one thing, the original envy, the deep jealousy of those who have what i most miss…a mother…I have never found a way to overcome this feeling. It is such a waste, and it serves no good purpose. I really wish I could find a way to destroy this feeling in my heart for good.
Your mother sounds wonderful, how blessed you were to have her and she to have you so her legacy carries on. You must have many happy memories, which no-one can ever take away or intefere with because they are yours alone. There are so many orphans in the world, so many abused, neglected and lost children, and so many that don’t appreciate their mother; some who would give all they have for just one moment that you had.
When I read a good book I slow down during the last chapter because I don’t want to reach the end, i’ve even felt sad when I read the last page, but I never regret picking up the book and reading it and when I see someone else reading that book I hope they get from it exactly what I did, else it would be a waste
i think that if one have anything more good things or soomething other, he has also more bad things. If he is successful, he may have another problems (with health, for example)
so so so guilty of this – its a horrible feeling and very difficult to quieten – very interesting to read a theory on its origins as I often question myself as to why at times I feel this way – thanks
Fresh story for envy theme…I went to master course classes. When enered the class one my mate said if I want to hear the good news…I was afraid. But said ok. I heard I was granted scholarship for my good results( only A on first semester). I thought was joke, but saw the list on hall…So happy, because the sum of money came in a hard financial period, and also is sign I was appreciated. And I did not expected!
Ok…so the few mates got scholarshjip too were ok, great happiness…but others, just became sour, through caustic remarks…not one congratulated with us!
But I remember few weeks before, when I took the first tak, for others was afraid or lazy, and had to take another one because no volunteer ( and prof refused to leave till task is not asigned)…So that time they did not realize how things go, that I have to work, but they envy the scholarshi…
Es el dia a dia en Costa Rica…que pena me da…en lugar de luchar para ser mejores cada dia y desear prosperar, la mayoria le desea el mal al otro. Hasta en el gobierno se ve, donde hoy tenemos una presidenta que no quiere ver prosperar y avanzar al pais, sino undirse en la mediocridad y el subdesarrollo, porque para ella no pueden existir nadie mejor que ella misma. Y asi sucesivamente en cada uno de los funcionarios del gobierno y en el pueblo mismo. Aqui en Costa Rica, si logras algo grande y eres exitoso, hay que ocultarlo…si porque sino todos te tienen envidia y desean que algo malo pase. Que pena, debemos cambiar esto, debemos enseñarles a los niños a luchar por ser mejor que el mejor y no el “menos malo”.
When the grass is greener the other side reme
mber the water bills will be higher too. Just a ‘cliche’
Does anyone remember what Cain did to his brother? It is disconcerting to see that all nations are composed of both Cain and Abel. The second World War defined who had the upper hand on a global scale. Today Abel still is generous with a desire to please God but he sometimes carries a fistful of arrows and he is wary of Cain.
It is a wonderful thing to see your neighbor prosper. It is a blessing not to need to be applauded, feel accepted, or held in importance. It is a blessing to accept who you are and your station in life. It is exceptional to feel this peace.
“Why did your face fall?” Oh God,Please help me..I don’t want to hear it from You.
Thank you Paulo, you always point me towards God.
La envidia para mi es que una persona por ningun motivo desea ser feliz por lo tanto es persona frustada, nada que ve le parece bien , todo lo ve mal, simplemente no tiene deseos de ser alguien se conforma con ser nada, siempre manda mala vibra le pido a Dios que me aleje de esa mala energia.
Cuando se trata de analizar la conducta del ser humano, es dificil señalar las reacciones sobre los sentimientos, de algún modo formados desde los contextos familiares y escolares, siendo conducentes y hasta determinantes, en la posición de cualquier individuo dentro de una sociedad, estructura o grupo. La envidia es una respuesta baja, alejado de la pureza natural se personas con pensamiento racional, sin embargo al no encontrar el valor de reconocer que otros, pueden alcanzar exitos, con sencillez, paciencia,perseverancia, honestidad y con fé en cantidades industriales de paz, en medio de tanta advesidad, la primera escuela es nuestro hogar, otros las relaciones sociales nutridoras y saludables, fortalecen las acciones posteriores, en virtud al modelo a seguir, aunque al final la decisión final es tuya, siempre existirán antivalores, deberá existir la cautela de verlos pasar, para no engancharnos en esa pinza, que atrapa el potencial valioso que todos poseemos por naturaleza divina, la madurez y las ganas de ser potencialmente honestos con nosotros mismos, permitirá seguir en la vida, con tanta libertad y disfrutar de la calidez de la tarde, de una mañana de lluvia, un refrescante chapuzón en el mar, o sencillamente observando un hermoso paisaje multicolor, donde el mal se aleja, porque buscamos estar más cerca Dios, pero sobre todo con principios natos y no impuestos por otros, que buscan manipular y condicionar nuestros pensamientos…el ser auténticos nos hace únicos e irrepetibles…algo así como fuera de serie…que opina usted…
envy may be based on the philosophy “the grass is always greener at the neighbor’s place.” how much is competition be influenced by envy?
the emotion is so automatic, I wonder whether it has on one level its “right to exist”. It gets just extreme & “kills” us when we don’t control it & make sense out of it. what can control it? development of loving kindness towards us & all living beings?
look at it in this way (in the animal kingdom). in the wild, one’s “neighbor” has it better: more fertile territory with more animals to hunt. envy may produce a fight, consequently a better environment to survive.
envy can help when the poor, suppressed people living adjacent to the king’s palace ask themselves “why NOT ME?.”
Hi All,
I’m not a very strong person. I always look for affection from others especially from some friends whom I like much.
But when I see it’s not coming, I become desperate.
I’ll go through all negative emotions when it didn’t get
at times when I expect it. I did lot of reading to escape
from this and found this blog also while in search of readings to tackle this. But to be frank, daily i’m going through this problem. I’m looking for someone’s help on
escaping from this. It’s creating sleepless night’s, not able to concentrate on my profession.
How can I escape from this?
I use envy to motivate me. It helps me to identify what I want from life.
What I struggle with is jealousy if a boyfriend is talking to a woman who is flirting with him right in front of me. That makes me hurt and angry and jealous. That is me at my worst for sure. I still haven’t found a way to feel ok about that. I think it has more to do with wanting to feel special to my boyfriend. I think it also has to do with feeling that the woman thinks she’s better than me and can use my man to boost her ego. I struggle because even though I know that the man is mine and is faithful, that the woman is using me to feel good about herself while at the same time making me feel bad.
Any advice?
Es tomarte el veneno para que otro se muera…
envy is an act of poison…this will create a problem between people involve…if you intend to take the negative side of being envy it will lead you to a bigger problem…you will try to make or create something bigger than of whta you have envious too…but if the positive sign, by taking it as an inspiration for it help you more to become a resourceful one…
me da alegria ber como dejan sus comentarios me parese q leer un libro es increible y lo q dice sobre la envidia es real por eso no envidiemos a los demas
por q lo peor q puedes aser es compararte con otra persona
Envy is a discretion that we all at some point or another in our lives experience. There are those of us that experience it more than others but that is not to say that those people are inadequate. What it actually means is that some people grow/mature quicker than others and so you could say that through lifes experiences some people are cultivated much quicker than others and therefore do not feel envy but feel joyous and pride for those that acheive great/er things. Those that do not understand this are those that have perhaps been sheltered from a true living in this world, haven’t had to endure the ‘real’ day to day ups and downs that most everyday people do. They have perhaps had everyting handed to them on a plate and therefore expect everything in life just as easily.
If you have lived a true life and experienced true hardship, whether that be physical or emotional OR even both then you soon come to realise that being envious of people and their acheivements is only really an insight into your own inadequacies and so it is not that you are envious but that you are not ready to acknowledge/accept your own lack of success to meet your own needs. I might add that everbodies hardships, whatever they may be will differ from one person to the next so someone not having enough money to go on holiday will feel just as bad as it does to someone who is homeless.
WE are all unique, all different and all grow in spirit and strength at different paces which is why I do not feel envious anymore BUT why some people do so frequently.
Life has taught me that I will get what I’m given when I’m meant/ready to recieve it and not a minute before or after.
I know that what I would like to have and what others already have is to be enjoyed with them just as mine will be enyoyed by them with me once it’s my time to experience those things too.
This understanding did no come overnight but over time. If only everyone could understand what life is trying to teach/give them!
La envidia es otra cara del egoísmo.
Si de verdad quieres tener nobleza en tu corazón debes trabajar en eliminar esos sentimientos de tu vida.
No hay demonios en tu entorno, nadie mas que tú eres responsable de lo que sientes y sólo tú puedes cambiarlo. En ti está la decisión.
Envy is another side of egoism.
If you really want to be noble in your heart must work to eliminate those feelings in your life.
No demons in your environment, no one but you are responsible for what you feel and only you can change it. With you is the decision.
Having read this article, I am so ashamed of my own actions.
Recently, the man who I adored more than just a friend. Last month he went to a meeting in Berlin with an old girlfriend from twenty years ago. She had been contacting him by email from her home in New Zealand, expressing her frustrations and uhappiness in her realtionship with her current partner of eighteen years. From their correspondence over the past eighteen months, he developed an emotional attachment, which hindered our budding relationship. They had met in Edinburgh over New year when she was visiting her sick father and again more recently in Berlin during her business trip, where they spent a week together.
Prior to her visit, my friend was in a state of deliberation regarding to go or not. This made him so stressed that he was not even sleeping.He even debated whether he would eventaully go and live in New Zealand with her, but was in conflict about leaving his elderly parents.
I felt sickened. This woman has a long term partner, who has not cheated on her and was at home looking after their ten year old child, unaware of her secretly sent emails to her ex partner and this clandestine meeting, where she would be sharing a room wih my friend.
The night before he was due to go – I sent my friend a strongly worded email questionning:
How would he feel if was her long term partner at home with their child unaware of their secret emails and meetings?
Pointing out that her partner had gone to relationship counselling meetings which showed hewas trying to resolve the realtionship, and the fact that he had recently brought a puppy into the house to bring happiness.
I also criticised her character heavily stating:
what sort of woman searches up an ex partner on the internet behind the back of her partner of twenty years? Only someone who is attention seeking and needy…
What sort of woman sends secret emails to an ex partner, projecting her frustrations of her current retaionship to manipulate someone’s emaotions and feelings?
What sort of women actively belittles her current partner’ character to an ex partner?
I now realise in my emai, I was showing the characteristics that Shelton quotes regarding the use of the moral highground to hide my anger at her actions spoiling my relationship.
Never, did i rejoice at his happinesss,but only crtitical at what he was doing to another man i.e taking his long term partner and having visions of being a father to her daughter.I was also critical of this other women, who i was the ” loser” to
Needless, to say that since he has returned from Berlin, he has not contacted me…I fear that he hates me for what I said…I fear that he saw characteristics that I did not know were there…
I just do not know what to do..
I was taught JEALOUSY is the dangerous and destructive emotion. It serves no purpose whatsoever. ENVY however can be productive…if I envy someone elses successes, it could promt me to seek similiar successes/goals. If I envy my friends holiday, I don’t hate her for it, I am happy for her but also want a similiar experience for myself. If I am jealous of her holiday… well there are no good feelings there. Jealousy is v. destructive.
What I have noticed, reading through some of the comments, is that people tend to talk about envy as a some kinf of jeleousy. Are they really alike? Is to envy someone always in relation to a certain negative and destructive feeling? Yes, in some sense it might be. For example, I take myself as an example. Studying for some years now I’ve noticed that some of my old classmates are getting on with their lifes having a job right after finishing our undergraduate. They, for some reason, new the right people or was ambitious anough or had a plan, someone maybe knowing a third person to place them after finshing school. That I did not. So i went on to study two more years. Not because I did not want to start working, but beacuse I thought having two more year meant deepening into the field of my interest and in the end resulting in more interesting jobs and so on. Will that work?Well,im not wuite done, so cant really answer. But i do envy those that finshed with their 3 year instead of 5 and managed somehow to get a job. Now, I think in this case,one could either have a negative level of the envy or a positive. For me, it is the latter. It gives me frastration to know that there are people at the same age working and getting more and more experiece. And it makes me WANT a job and so I see endless possibilities in looking and applying for jobs. Of course I can get occationally angry of the fact that it is hard. But thats life!I can sometimes find myself enjoying this time of my life where I am in fact kinda free.
I just cant really see this as jeleousy…but thats just me. I cant really tell the difference here, whether my little story could be seen as jeleousy. But hypothetically, maybe being jeleous is the negative feeling of envy because i cant really see any positive in being jeleous. That is, for me, self destructive behaviour.
‘For the scientist and researcher Dr. William M. Shelton, envy is a reaction provoked by losers, who seek to evade reality by hiding behind a crusade seeking to reinstate ‘“moral values”, “noble ideas”, and “social justice”.
I don’t really see how a person who has noble ideas and search for social justice can be a loser. Then Jesus, who was full of noble ideas would be one and this is an insult to the Spirit of God. Really I feel people who become “competitive” agains each other are really envious of each other, and thus they get the need to “compete”. On the other hand, those who love what they do have no need for this so called competition because they are perfect at what they do.
The situation becomes dangerous when the school system begins to develop in the student the conditioning for despising all those who manage to be successful, always attributing any success to corruption, manipulation and moral degradation.
I am not certain about this statement either, this does not make much sense.
As the pursuit of success is something inherent to the human condition, the students end up in a schizophrenic process of hating exactly that which would lead them to happiness, thereby increasing the anxiety crises, and reducing the capacity to innovate and improve society. (I think we must love and have a noble heart in order to innovate and improve society, then the “moral values”, “noble ideas”, and “social justice” are not that bad after all.
And this schizophrenic state is basically what gets developed out of this so called “competition” alwas trying to be better at everything than other people, always comparing ourselves with others.
So in the end I think this is the reason envy is one of the capital sins because we end up attacking our own spirit (The Holy Spirit inhabits in us) and thus it is a crime against God and the Holy Trinity.
Love
Monica
Wow that is about the truth. I don’t get jealous to often it’s a lil hard to get me seeing green. Trust me they try and it really makes me mad that someone would want you to stoop that low. Just to show you care or whatever there reason. Some people just like to turn people that way just to see the way they act…. Me if you feel you need to get me jealous then I probably won’t find the time for that person anymore. Cuz I don’t and will not be one of them envious monsters w/ the deep green eyes. That can’t wait to covet your man, your success, and your life.
Not my style I like to work for mine thanks…. I don’t find any fun trying to be someone else. Yeah I am sure there is times where I am asking why is he with her or why would he pick her over me, but in reality that’s just me being confused over the situation. Jealousy is beneath me if I didn’t get what I thought I deserved at the time it’s because GOD has something much better planned for me.
Why not enjoy all the luck, happiness, succes and joy of the people around us. If we can be really happy for them, our own life becomes so much happier as well!
While reading The Alchemist in 2003, so many things clicked.
Following dreams was such a strange concept to re-embrace as an adult since dreams were for children.
But I became so passionate about my dreams again (had not forgotten) even if I did not say much.
This is how The Alchemist helped me with envy:
Finally 18 months after reading this book one of my major childhood dreams came true. I was 48 years old. Was so full of the magic of life again, convinced that dreams really did mean something. Also felt a little more confident about destiny. No one believed me. A few tried to crush my dreams. There was a strong pull to rejoin living as other adults who had given up on their dreams and felt disatisfied with life. Just realizing now that it was envy although it came out as anger and fear. But I did not want that to be my life and decided to share this book with everyone, because their dreams matter too, as much as mine. Some are beginning now to see it!
From that point on, because of this story, I am ecstatic when great things happen for friends. Over the last 3 years, met many people that are also striving to make their lives better. It’s wonderful energy, Can feel their joy, glee and smiles. Also can appreciate what they went through (like Santiago in the story). And that is a major part of my second huge childhood dream.
Thinking about little children today, forward and open. Enthusiastic, cheerful, confident. Millions of new parents who understand about dreams. WOW!
Gratitude and Love to All,
Jane
I always say “When one of us falls we all fall and when one is lifted we become another rung in the big cosmic ladder for more to climb.” ~ Deanne Sihr-Fry Be joyess in someones happiness and it will knock at your door as well. Thank you for sharing Mr Coelho
Non-envious people should learn how to defeat ENVY .
We should reply to an agressive envy attack with a positive teaching.
For me the feeling of the envy doesn,t make the slightest sens ,couse every day we can find sbd more succesful than us and sbd who is less .To envy it would be like ,,a fighting with the windmilles,, to the end of my life ,or even any life on the planet ,not to go farther ..lol.But no so honorary as in Don Kichote case anyway.And anyway also ,we can always find smth we are better at .:)
The joke is great!!!! sadly all the description of envy I have suffered from a close to me person the envy became so strong that developed in hate. The sad part is that if instead of looking to my achievments this person would have made an effort in getting her own achievement she wouldnt have had anything to be envious about
La envidia es un sentimiento que nos sale y no es nada facil vivir con ella el demonio siempre asecha y hay q saber sobrellevarla por que a la verdad, es muy, pero muy mala y no se puede vivir con esa envidia ni el estar pensando en lo q conlleva y trae porque trae malas vibras y sentimientos q en un futuro puedes perder el control y de ahi en adelante no hay marcha atras. Cuidense es una mala acopa~nante.
Can someone explain to me why ‘schizophrenic’ is an appropriate word in “As the pursuit of success is something inherent to the human condition, the students end up in a schizophrenic process of hating exactly that which would lead them to happiness…?” What exactly about this process of hating things that would lead students to happiness makes it ‘schizophrenic?’ Does he mean ‘delusional’ or ‘lacking insight?’ If so, a more psychopathology-sensitive word should be used in this situation.
Schizophrenia is (according to Wikipedia)…’a disintegration of thought processes and of emotional responsiveness’…..a strong word perhaps …but ‘hating exactly that which would lead them to happiness’ is a serious madness.
The word seems much less shocking than the condition.
To envy what someone has when they have it for such a short time….why? ….rather pity them for the loss they will feel for eternity.
…..peace
A inveja, que por sermos humanos já todos experimentámos na pele, é um sentimento que só faz mal a quem o sente. É como um veneno que corrói.
Deus é amor, quem ama muito tem Deus dentro dele.
Absolutely!
Eres grande Paulo Coelho: Por eso te Amo!!!!
Envy=waste of time
Cheers!
T.
La envidia es la madre de todas las desdichas personales. Si se une a la ira, entonces es cuando surge en la persona que la piensa y proyecta, una enfermedad interior incurable llamada…furia.
Muchas gracias, estimado Paulo.
I must admit I have experienced this envy feeling often and have within a moral voice to myself said that this feeling is odd and should be quieted. So, it can be seen that this is quite a commonalty inherit within all of us, I do admit it is an evil feeling and can be very circumstantial, essentially one plus one is not always two… It is the variable I and the variable you that play together to result in a new variable forming (a we perhaps?), hopefully one headed towards I more positive union… Anyways much ramblings indeed …
la envidia es parte del ser humano,un sentimiento negativo,
poco objetivo,donde se abre el ventanal de las aberraciones y lamentaciones donde los demonios habitan sin descanso para albergar los mas obscuros sentimientos del ser humano(algunas veces) como dice MARIE-CHRISTINE en este foro, la envidia forma parte de una realidad cotidiana
es en el espiritu, donde tenemos que saber ponerla a raya
saludos
We all can fall for that feeling of watching someone succeed or have more success in areas we are working on, however, the trick is to realize that that person has also worked, sometimes hard, to achieve his success. so, we just need to step back and understand that you should work hard and find your own success. Other people might be looking at you at the same way envying your own success.
A second point is that whenever you spend time worrying about what someone has or hasn’t achieved, you’re waisting time and energy you could be using on your projects and goals.
well said… :)
la envidia es una realidad en el ser humano,nadie estamos excemptos de tenerla,pero si que tenemos que controlarla
para ser honestos con nosotros mismos y con el resto.como dice marie-christine la realidad es su prisión en su espiritu está la clave saludos
The rabbis answered:
“God should have asked Cain: Why are you angry? Was it because I did not accept your offering, or because I accepted the offering of your brother?”
Being a crazy analytical person, is the rabbis correcting God’s question?
Peace
Can’t agree more!
I always enjoy reading your blog and come out of it with a lesson or two or a smile on the face :) Thank you!
We are all fallible, so how do we ovoid envy?
hi tarik,
you will avoid envy by feeling happy for the luck / success / prosperity / joy … of others. whatever others have (-that you have not-) just feel happy for them. join them in their joy. you will have a much better feeling in your stomach, for envy makes your stomach go tense and gives you a very unpleasent feeling. sharing joy with others, however, gives you a warm and wide and very pleasent feeling in the stomach which will reach out to heart.
have fun sharing the joy of other people!
:-) bezaubernde grüße :-)
Hi Tarik,
Envy is a forbidden feeling in all religions. So this feeling is wrong and God forbids us to envy other people and the worst kind of envy is when you wish that the other person did not have what he has and instead you can have it. That envy is forbidden, and you should always thank God for the blessings he has given you, because I am sure he has given you a lot but you just don’t realize. It’s very well known in the 3 major religions why Cain killed Abel. It’s to do with this evil feelings, which we all have in degrees ofcourse.
la envidia esta enraizada en el fondo del corazón y la mente, y a veces es tan sutil, que no nos damos cuenta en que momento sale a flote.
debe ser nuestro ejercicio diario el estar pendiente en que momento sale a flote, para evitar caer como el monje.
cada uno de nuestros demonios esta al pendiente para ver en que momento puede encontrar la forma de seducirnos.
Envy is another kind of indifference that kills! In any relationship, envy is a very subtle yet dangerous factor that would destroy us, even if it is between family, lovers, friends, etc. I think that we envy each other because it’s one of human nature that we would never be satisfied enough no matter how much we have, thus we always compare ourselves to others. If I could accept myself as I am, I wouldn’t have to envy my friends. No matter how fat, how poor, how ugly, how short, how stupid i could be, I think the most important thing is the acceptance. And yes, it is not such an easy process to do.
Take for example, I once loved someone so much that I couldn’t picture myself with anyone but him. I thought it was love at the first sight but then things began to change. After several years, I met this guy again and later found out that he has already got a gf. Strangely, my feelings also began to grow much deeper in him. The fact that he’s someone else’s doesn’t bring me down, but rather to put much greater efforts in approaching him. Well, I guessed I once talked to myself, “If there’s only one person on this earth that I envy, it’d be his girlfriend.” This hatred and envy that I put in myself for such a long time really hurt myself. Why cant I have someone that I truly love in my life? Why God is so unjust? (This is why I used to say back then).
I should say, that this is a long process of learning in my life. Having loved someone for so bad and yet you cant have it really makes me eventually know the meaning of love. Until I finally accept the fact that he is not mine and I don’t want to take his happiness away from him as well, I began to understand. I don’t even ask God for the same question anymore, but I’d rather ask, “God, what are you preparing for me?” For I believe that God loves us so much that He always hears our prayers and care for us, I don’t feel like He would disappoint those who firmly put their faith in Him.
I would still say that I believe he is my true love even if he isn’t my soulmate. It would fulfil the true meaning of love, that “love is patient, kind, without envy. It is not boastful or arrogant. It is not ill-mannered nor does it seek its own interest. Love overcomes anger and forget offences. It does not take delight in wrong, but rejoices in truth. Love excuses everything, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love will never end.” Envy, on the other hand, is one of the bad behaviours devil has created to divide love.
It would be nice if we just live with our own strength and weakness, needless to compare them to our neighbour’s. I think that if we can be open enough to someone, talk clearly enough to each other, then we don’t have to hide this harmful envy inside our hearts. For the things that are hardest to be said could be the happiest or the saddest. Maybe it is right to keep your words, “If I had nothing to lose, I had everything.”
hey mariza really thanx…i m going thru dis pain caused by envy in ma relationship..bt after reading wat u wrote here,,,i hope dat i can overcome dis pain n be really happy in ma lyf!!
Wow!! Very true and well written!!! Envy is a wasted Emotion!! Be grateful for what you have in life.
It is not success or possessions that one seeks that brings happiness, although MANY feel the more you have the better off you are…..(success or wealth).
It is found within ourselves, in our hearts and spirit.
You must look inward and not outward……at what others have, nor be jealous of them.
Be happy for them and share the joy w frienda and family!!
I think everyone will feel envy at some stage – to one degree or another – it’s human nature to envy those who get a long lie when you can’t or have better pay or holidays, nicer home or car – children when you can’t, but these are passing sentiments or indiscriminate and generally quite mild….but envy can grow and consume – and become such a destructive force, fueling anger and resentment and hatred to irrational levels…..such a waste. Learning to control our ‘darker’ side is a key to finding ways to deal with our negative influences and prevent the erosion of our happiness and appreciation of all the beauty, love and hope that does exist around & within us.
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