Fear of failure
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{ 171 comments… read them below or add one }
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Thank you for being who you are Mr. Coelho. Your existence is such a blessing for your readers & fans all around the world. I simply admire your talent and your thoughts.
Best Regards,
Orkide Ü.
Merci Paulo.
Je voyage avec mon ame et avec un mot, j’invente d’autres mots pour donner du sens a ma vie. Amen.
I travel with my soul and with one word, I invent other words to make sense of my life.Amen
Thank You Paulo.
With love
Marie-Christine
thank you
Paulo:
Nem sei como dizer-lhe que há 11 anos ouvi falar de si a primeira vez e li alguns livros seus. A sua magia, a Luz que a sua escrita atira para dentro de nós são muito importantes para todos que possam ler os seus livros.
O Manual do Guerreiro da Luz está pousado na minha mesa de cabeceira. Quando tenho medo, quando estou ansiosa, quando me acho pior que todos osoutros, quando me magoam e eu choro, abro o Manual à sorte e confio que não é à sorte, mas sim vou abrir na página certa para aquele momento. Vou ler o que preciso de ler para reflectir sobre o que se passa e depois vou continuar a caminhada.
Muito obrigada, Paulo, por tantas vezes me ter ajudado a limpar as lágrimas e a dissipar obstáculos.
Aconteceu hoje outra vez. Não foi com o livro, mas com esta página do facebook. Ao ver o seu video “fear of failure” ganhei alento e coragem para escrever o meu relatório de professora, explicando o trabalho que fiz com alunos nos últimos dois anos. E tudo o que fiz foi porque acreditei que estava certo e que ia ajudar a formar os alunos. Depois do video, já não me preocupo com o medo de não gostarem do meu trabalho. Eu fiz o que devia ser feito, fiz o que a minha alma me disse.
Obrigada e permita-me deixar-lhe um beijo muito grato.
Gaby de Matos
Paulo olha só a magia do nosso trabalho!!www.madeirinho.elo7.com.br Se gostar faz um comentario vai!!Fico na esperança de um retorno aqui para uma pobre mortal e admiradora de seus contos sou bruxa e não sei lidar ainda com isso,esta fora de controle,sabe do que eu to falando né?O trabalho de arte é meu e de meu companheiro
Beth e Paulo Cecatto de Ubatuba beijos!!
I’m 47 years old. Last week I began a new job.
The last two days I cryed all the day thinking” non ce la posso fare!!!” and all the time I had in my mind your post in FB “fear of failure” … it’s mine!!! Thank you so much for your words… like everytime, I’ll do my best!
Paulo,
sem querer dei uma olhada em meu face e la estava sua mensagem, caiu como uma luva, gosto muito de voce e peco a Deus que voce continue exatamente como sempre eu imaginei
uma pessoa cheia de amor, carinho e coragem
forte abraco
marise
How right you are! our hearts must be our guide, as Castaneda saids, “choose the path with heart”. Those who judge our work are often subjective, they would like it or not, what matters is what we feel when we have done it. It is a good time to your comment, as it is exam time and presentations.
First and foremost, Thank you for being my spiritual guide and for teaching me the ways of life through your words. With them I have learned to be a better me and expand my mind and explore my horizons. Paulo, I consider you my father figure, my father passed when I was 2 years old and I have never had that male figure in my life to give me the words I need to continue and not give up in life. Right now I’m going through a separation proces..and maybe my decision is not the most correct one but my heart and mind tells me otherwise. They tell me to go in and take the plunge into this. I have gone through a horrible relationship everything u can imagine a relationship shouldn’t have…mine had it. And now after 9 years of being with this person I have decided to take the door and walk out with my 3 children. I’m terrified at the world, for i have not had the necessities to go out into it and scrape for my own survival. Yet, now I know it’s a must and a necessity for me to stand up on my own. I’m terrified of failing at life…but mostly I’m terrified of failing in my children’s lives. I don’t know where to start and how to start getting my balance to be able to stand alone with my children. I’m afraid to fail…and afraid to fall. But this video came to me like an answer from my father…my spiritual father, telling me that the fear will not go…but if I never take the risk the fear will only grow more and i will only become paralyzed. I cannot let the fear of failure paralyze me…and for that I thank you…Thank you soo much for helping me through this with your words…wise words.
Please don’t worry. You can’t fail in life as long as you keep on trying! Sure you’ll fall, no doubt about that. And then you’ll stand up again and take the things you learned to do better. That’s the only thing you need to SHOW your children; don’t be afraid to try to be the best you can, not by wanting to do everything perfect but by searching, trying, DOING, falling and standing up again. So don’t see those falls as a failure but as your chance to grow.
Oops- “I am doing the best that I can.”
My priest told this story in the homily one week:
Once upon a time, not so long ago, and maybe not even so far away from where you live now, there lived many animals in a deep, green forest. And they lived in relative harmony, except when one animal was eaten by another animal as sometimes happens in a deep, green forest. But that was appreciated as the story of life and death. And the continuation of life. And in the cycle of things, as they are and as they are meant to be, there was equanimity and peace…
Until one day, a fire raged and raged in the deep, green forest. And all the animals gave chase or took flight to try and save themselves from the inferno. While running away they felt huge despair at the thought of what they were leaving behind… their only home.
When they reached a safe distance some of the animals stopped to look at the raging fire, and noticed a small spot of red in the blue sky, circling back and forth, from a clear, cool lake to the blazing, burning forest… What was it? It was the red-throated hummingbird. And in her beak she ferried a few small drops of water to try to stop the fire. She flew back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth again.
The animals below looked up in amazement. The lion looked up, the elephant, the badger and the bear. They all looked up at the red-throated hummingbird in disbelief.
And the lion roared: “Red-throated hummingbird, what do you think YOU are doing up there with your one drop of water?”
Undeterred by the impossibility of it all, the little hummingbird said: “I am the best that I can.”
I like this because Ifound it highly educational
Otros consiguieron la piedra por accidente. Ya tenian el don, sus almas estaban mas despiertas que las de otras personas. Pero estos no cuentan, porque somos escasos.”
i hope one of this translations will describe the real meaning what a german philosoph wrote:
the anxiety of failure is the failure itself
the anxiety to be mistaken is the mistake itself
…”dass diese Furcht zu irren schon der Irrtum selbst ist..”›
(Hegel in der Einleitung zur ‹Phänomenologie des Geistes›).
Paulo,
Nunca tinha lido nada seu..
Até que li o seu ALEPH.
Foi uma leitura saborosa.
Logo depois vi na tv uma entrevista sua, não me lembro de foi na TVBRASIL ou outra emissora.
Na entrevista vc falava de Borges, e fiquei curiosa para le-lo também!
Sou artista, e espiritualista.
E agora uma leitora sua.
Muita luz
Maria
dear sir paulo, your video post doesn’t play in linux. your video posts before would play in any computer i use. thank you sir =]
Thank you, Paulo,
for helping me to see things more clear.
I’ve been haunted by my fear of failure since I started my higher studies in the social sector 7 years ago. With me it is not about papers or exams, those went always pretty well, but about the practice, really doing it and being held back bacause someone that has to evaluate me, is watching me…
Because of this, I didn’t manage to become a children’s teacher (at that time my heart’s desire), so I started a new study to be a special needs educator to work with people with disabilities. Also this has been a most difficult path to take, but through love and with help of God, I realised this is the right path for me.
So in order to deal with my fear of failure, I interrupted my studies for a small year and went to live in a community of l’Arche of Jean Vanier, in France. There I discovered who I really am and how to bring out my qualities. It was a wonderfull time I spent there.
When I resumed my studies, I did an internship that was so succesfull that I really had a high grade :) But my last year’s internship (that I did for the past 4 months) prooved to be a very hard path for me again. My fear of failure, that I believed to have overcome in l’Arche, came creeping back on me, and although I had a wonderfull tome at my internship, giving music and writing and movement activities to these wonderous people, the people that had to evaluate me, said it was not good enough. Today, on this monday, they are deciding whether to pass me or not, whether to let me graduate or not. So today I’m sending lots of positive vibes towards Brussels (Belgium) :D
But hearing your side of fear of failure helped me realise, that whatever their decision may be, it will not change the way I look upon this internship. “Because whether they’re going to like it or not, it is irrelevant. ’cause I liked it. I did my best, I put in all my Love, I did it with all my heart.”
Thank you
Lyne
guess there should always be a fear of failure from time to time, what makes success even sweeter i think.
I’m not really a complainer person, but the guess the question is why we always have our doubts or those black thoughts about something we did while waiting for the results to show up!! guess no one can controll his emotions this much or try to stay calm till the good news appeare..
so thats why i guess the fear of failure something’s natural and instinctive, everyone has alittle of it, i had it from the first day i stepped in the exam class in my first grade till the day i graduated from college. and as someone here said “it is a part of me-being-me process”.
Really thanks for this plog Paulo, A Big admirer of your works here.
Syria, Damascuse.
Really nice and truthfull thoughts! You can’t control your fear that I agree naturally comes, till you hear good news!
Dear Mr.Coelho,
It is easy to observe that you took the path that was right for you! You make a big difference in many peoples life. Your gift with words is touching people and make them grow.. Keep up the good work! You are so special!
What if every man or woman found the same gift inside. Use the energy to really find the unique parts and values..
Then the world would be a better place to be, and everything that used to be a struggle would be a way to grow..
I think you have started many processes with your words!
Don’t ever tell me
that the music of Mozart
is too noble
or the sight of a Greek column
too beautiful
Must your reality always be ugly and harsh
to have life
at all
At first i wanted to say i don’t really know what u acomplished, and i don’t know what kind of things u studied, and also i don’t know who u are (i surely should say Mr. or sth, and i apologize about that) but that video and what u said is totally truth! I love peaople who stand for they believes. And i also love people who encourage others ^_^! Congratulations about this whole blog thing, i think im going to visit this page a lot.And about fear of failure i can say taht i never regreted(?) things i have done in other way than others when it was right with me! (best way IMO)
At this moment,I’m reading about you’re book ” The Pilgrimage ” What can I say obsession, faith coincidence or fear of failure you may called this. It’s frightening me who I am, I try to confront my self and my husband too,and it happened many times, to confront him about what happened and I ask him ” why did you hurt my soul so bad? I was very calm and cry at the same time with him…I have enough I can’nt denied what happened between him and me because that is the truth. The voice is telling me; he manipulate me from the beginning, and it’s time for me to moved on my anger. God knows what was happened in my past,I know that for sure and he will not turn his back to me, I leave to God and make a peace of it, so it’s time for me to speak the truth and buried my pastand take responsibility, It’s not my cased anymore. So am,I wasn’t born lucky in this world but I’m still happy and still alive. Hopely, going to Santiago Compostela would change me completely, and I thank you with your book’s coz they woke me up for the truth and extend my knowledge about making choice to be happy human being, and more wisely in the future, faith coincidence, and fear of failure…I luv my self for being fear of failure…I’m looking forward , what will be I am in the future, so life is simple just like that…
I hope my writing in english is understood coz I saw a few mistake of it…thank’s…
I love the post, not only because its very inspiring, but also because this is the first one I see you speaking…
I just starting reading Brida, and I want to know the end…
en español please
IT is true that when you over come your fear than only you can speak the truth in front of even people bigger in stature. The crux is having faith in your self
Dear Paulo,
I love your posts, but I’d like to add that not at all times our efforts/enthusiasm/dedication are recognized. I think it’s even more important to keep the confidence and our heads held high when things don’t go our way. We are only responsible for our actions, and not for actions of others.
Saludos a Cristina
Success well achieved. From Puerto Rico
I am touched at the immediacy of this video for me. My heart was just broken by the fear of failure (once again) . The good thing about a broken heart — is that it is open. Open to the message ginen with such sincerity.
Thank you.
L’ecole de Communication de Bergh a Stockholm m’a envoye un courriel pour discuter la peur d’echouer…
Et je me suis rappele que chaque fois que j’avais une these ou un examen lorsque mon ecole me demandait de faire cela , je disais :
“Oh! Il faut que je fasse plaisir a mon enseignant et que je suive exactement ce qu’il ou qu’elle m’a enseigne…et c’etait – a mon avis – la mauvaise approche.
Alors un jour, j’ai decide d’ecrire sur les choses qui ont vraiment touche mon coeur et je me rappelle , lorsque je faisais mes etudes de droit, qu’ils m’avaient demande – je ne me souviens pas exactement ce qu’il fallait ecrire sur le – mais j’ai decide d’ecrire sur Caligula, l’Empereur Romain – et sa lutte incessante entre notre bon et mauvais cote -
Et j’ai ecrit sur Caligula et je me suis dit :
-”Ca y est tu as tout gache. Personne ne va accepter cela. Je vais etre..pas puni…mais ils vont me donner une tres mauvaise marque et.. c’est l’inverse qui s’est produit.
Ils ont dit :
“Oh! Ceci est tout a fait original”
Et je vais vous dire pourquoi j’ai ecrit sur Caligula…parce que j’avais peur de ne pas suivre les instructions du professeur ..et en meme temps, je me suis dit :
“Il faut que tu en finisses avec cette idee parce que j’ai quelque chose de different a dire.
Le sujet est important, mais tu n’etais pas vraiment oblige de suivre les directives…parce qu’a la fin de la journee, les directives sont de discuter le sujet.
ALors cet examen, pour moi fut un tournant dans ma vie…et depuis, ma peur d’echouer – je l’ai toujours – mais je me dis :
“D’accord. J’ai fait de mon mieux et a partir de ce moment la, je me dis : “J’ai fait du mieux,bien sur. Je peux apres, envoyer mon nouveau livre, ou un nouvel article; n’importe quoi que j’envoie soit, a l’editeur ou aux journaux.
.Je m’assieds. Je respire et je dis :
“J’ai fait de mon mieux. J’y ai mis tout mon amour. Je l’ai fait avec tout mon coeur et si ca leur plait ou pas, c’est irrelevant parce que ca m’a plu et je suis engage aux choses que je fais…
et jusqu’a present, personne n’a jamais refuse ou n’a rien critique.
Parce que lorsque vous mettez votre amour et enthousiasme dans votre travail, meme si les gens ne le voient pas, ils realisent qu’il est la – que vous le faites avec tout votre corps et ame -
Donc, c’est ce que je vous encourage de faire et de ne pas vous tracasser de la peur d’echouer. C’est un sentiment humain.
La chose importante est d’aller au-dela de cette peur et de faire ce que vous pensez que vous devez faire.”
Berghs’s school of Communication in Stockolm sent me an e-mail to discuss the fear of failure.
And I remember, every time I had to present a thesis or a paper, when my school asked me to do this, I said :
“Oh! I have to please my teacher”. I have to follow exactly what he or she taught me.
And that was the wrong approach in my opinion.
So, one day, I decided to write about things that really touched my heart.
And I remember, while I was studying Law that they asked me – I don’t remember exactly what to write the paper for – but I decided to write about Caligula, the Roman Emperor and his constant struggle between our good part and our Evil part.
And I wrote about Caligula and I said :
“I’m lost. Nobody is going to accept this, I am going to be , not punished..but they are going to give me a very very low degree and it happens exactly the opposite.
They said :”Oh! This is quite original!”
And I tell you why I just wrote about Caligula, because I was fearing not to follow the teacher’s instruction… and at the same time, I said :”I have to break this idea because I have something different to say.
The subject is important but you didn’t really need to follow the Guidelines, because the Guidelines because, at the end of the day, is just to discuss the subject.
So, this Caligula’s paper for me was a turning point.
Since then, my fear of failure – that still exists – because we don’t get rid of this in your lifetime.
But I am never paralysed by my fear of failure I have, but I say :
“Ok. I am doing my best” and from that moment I say :”I’m doing my best” of course, I can after, sending a new book or a new article, whatever I sent to the publisher or the newspaper.
I sit down. I breathe and I say: “I did my best. I put all my love. I did it with all my heart.So, whether they are going to like it or not, it’s irrelevant because I liked it. I am committed to the thing that I do..and so far, nobody has ever refused it or criticised anything.. Because when you put your love and enthusiasm into your work, even if people don’t see it, they realise that it is there. That you do it with all your body and soul.
So, what I encourage you to do this and not to worry. ..and don’t worry about the fear of failure. It is a human feeling.
The important thing is to move beyond this fear and to do what you think you should do.”
My mind do accept what your saying and knows it’s right but when you feel that no one is publishing because you dare to be your self…… what ever that self is …..then your words doesn’t heal they hurt more…
wish you all the best
if you try to please everyone you will not be loved by anyone, if you follow your heart you will be loved by some and abandoned by others
be true to yourself, say whatever you say if you believe that you are correct.. dont mind other people said because at the end of the day your decision must be follow not the others opinion…
Thank you for your video….
I agree with ur opinion.You always touched and inspired with yor books.I have read your 5 books.Each book inspired me a lot.Thank you very much sir.
Hey Paulo,
something is wrong with your fear of failure, it doesn’t play, post it again.
Feer of failure?? don tell me you still have it !!!??? its a learned fear buddy you will get rid of it when you accept your failure and love the result of it and use it for the next jump, my advice: do sky diving jump out, if your parachute fails don’t worry it will be your last failure. :-D
Mr. Coelho,
again you caught me in one of my toughest periods in my life so far, doing my final study exams, and again it’s like you waited for this point to come and give me a brilliant advise!
I really thank you for this message, cause you are right of course, and I took all your words straight to my heart!
Thank you very much!
Take care!
Thanks alot Mr.Coelho .
I really like everything you said
Your books are my favorite .
this is good to watch now when is the period of exams, tommorow I have my last exam and yes I am terrified :)
Thankyou for these words. I really needed this.
As a great admirer I just found your blog from a tip of a friend :)
But in this blog post I think you make it a bit too easy for you. Despite some of the other commenter I think that fears are natural, always present and that they play a role in me being me in the world. Working on failure is also an important topic. I also see so many, me included, ambitious and good-hearted people trying so hard not to fail that they get all frozen in living.
But, as one of the worlds most respected author for me you already represent success. When I hear you talk about the recipe against fear of failure as just putting your love in the work and do the best you can, I hear a voice in my head saying “Oh yeah, easy for him to say, world’s best author and all…” and I feel doubtful. I have walked a road similar to this and tried very hard, putting my soul and body in the work. I have (almost) always succeeded. I have always looked at others that have succeeded. And that made me more fearful…
In my opinion, the crux is having the faith in yourself knowing that success or failure of reports or books isn’t about the value of you, the love of others and nowhere near the love of yourself. If we can reach that, when success isn’t the proof of my existence, then we will succed :)
Thanks for writing, I’ll come back!
peterA
I wasn’t born successful. I had to fight as anyone else
why are you trying so hard to not make any mistakes? To always conform to everybody elses criteria? Please look into the history of all great leaders. Have they all succeeded every time they tried? NO! they fell, over and over again; got turned down, lost elections etc. But that didn’t stop them. They believed in what was coming from inside was the right way, that’s what made them unique and stand out, which paid of in the end.
Hi peterA,
I think you should check up the story of Paulo Coelho´s life before you write stuff like this. He has really had a very ruff life, from his childhood and even up in adult years. And for ME – it is exceptionell and extraordinary that he is now where he´s at as a person AND writer, SO loving and generous and SO filled with knowledge from within from his own life-experience. He could -as so many do – have turned into stone and be filled with hatred instead. I ADMIRE him and the way “he turned out”. Best regards, Telda Jonsson
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