The writer Leo Buscaglia was once invited to be on the jury of a school competition to find ‘the child who cared most for others’.
The winner was a boy whose neighbour, a gentleman of over eighty, had just been widowed.
When he saw the old man sitting in his garden crying, the boy jumped over the fence, sat on the man’s lap and stayed there for a long time.
When he went back home, his mother asked him what he had said to the poor man.
‘Nothing,’ said the boy. ‘He’s lost his wife and that must have really hurt.
“I just went over to help him to cry.”
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Sometimes words are not enough to say how much you feel for a person, whether he/she is in pain or whether he/ she is happy. I like the story so much. Made me realize about a generous heart of a child. =)
When we are having fun, we are sorrounded by many. When we are suffering there are not so many. That is why we really apreciate those who are with us when grieving. Sharing the silence of tears which water from the heart tie us more than laughs.
they say the ‘old’ are wise , though it is also true that we can learn so much from young children before they ‘grow up’ and think they know it all !kind regards Paulo….
It is not easy for a boy to behave like that! Some of his friends will laugh at him because he is so soft. I know that from school. Kids also can be cruel.
one Buddhist wisdom say:Keep your glass half empty half full, in that way you can give and you can take !!!!
so if you want to help someone you should have something to give. its not depending on the desire only
….a veces…. las palabras están de más, un gesto de cariño, de acogida…logra transmitir todo lo que se quiere decir….bella historia
it is often so simple to help.
just standing still
& observe
& showing empathy.
Thankyou Paulo,
Beautiful little boy.
Today, watched a video from the Experimental Witch competition and then another about grief and the gift that comes from it. Not denial, but the possibility of transformation.
In my generation and the one before, boys were told that ‘big boys don’t cry’. Perhaps tears from males were seen as a sign of weakness? But, it’s not that way now. Tears are like rain.
Life, dreams, so precious.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jane
Life is strange indeed! My Uncle,mum’s younger brother and the one who she depends on most and is grateful to him for so much that he has done for her-died last night in a road accident.His wife, my aunt, came to stay with us to recuperate couple of months ago,post surgery.His last words to his wife and children-I’ll just go out for a little while.Someone hit his bike from behind and he was critically wounded.And died in hospital from those head injuries.Will have to learn what exactly happened.
Just yesterday was wondering about the Death theme on the blog since Epitaph.He left behind a daughter and three sons-still unmarried.
I for one will always be grateful to him because it was through him that my Master was known.My Master saved my mother’s life back then-and He did with mine in 1993.
I had a strange vision last night or maybe it was early morning-that of Jesus Christ carrying the heavy cross!I have never ‘seen’ anything like it before and woke up wondering this morning.Funnily I couldn’t chant the Holy Mantra when I settled down for the night.
Mum and I will be leaving in a while to be with them.Just last night after a little argument with her,I was telling her -when will you both be happy? My parents have been living their lives for so many years now like all the world’s burden is only on them!!!
Didn’t know where to post this, Paulo-in Five regrets or Epitaph but thought to write it here.Thank you for the space to share-as always.
Love
sheela
Dear Sheela,
please feel very much hugged, because this is what I’d like to do now.
I can feel your sorrow about your loss and be assured I feel with you.
I will pray for you and your family for strength to get through the coming times.
Dear, don’t struggle with your parents. I’m sure they just want to do their best. Doing so, parents sometimes forget to care for themselves.
But don’t you forget to care for yourself, Darling, you don’t have to carry the heavy cross. He already did for you! And … you know: he always opens a door to new … possibilities … for everyone.
I’d like to comfort you,
BIG HUGS,
Claudia.
Sitting with you…
Angel clouds fill the sky
Feel the love from on high
Know the blessing in a goodbye
It is just so… I don’t know why
sabe gostaria que tds que foram ao velório de meu filho, no dia 19/06 resentemente apenas ficassem em silencio e chorasse comigo sem aquelas tão perversas perguntas imbecis. como que foi oque aconteceu? a dor da perda não basta para os abutres de plantão, querem esmiusar a dor alheia, colocarei esse texto em meu mural palavras não confortam em determinada situação, apenas silencio e lagrimas para acomodar a dor.
Very often we got carried away by our every day worries and need to be reminded that all of us are coming from the same place… All of us only need a single touch of attention to help us go on…
so beautiful, what more is there to say xx
beautiful.
Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. ~ Rumi.
I think the boy was that guide for soothing the old man’s soul from its tragedy….!!
Very beautiful story, profound, painful and meaningful…!!
Thank you prof
Mush luv
Much luv…
que maravilloso es tener compañía cuando uno se siente triste! que gran entendimiento el de ese niño.
I read many books by Leo Buscaglia, many years ago.I remember the one about LOVE which has made me a huge impression .. I was reading his books and it was as myself was mirrored in them.. I ‘know’ the secret of a hug, a sweet word, a kiss, a glance.. I always like sweet words, caresses, giving a flower and a .. present, whenever the other person does not expect it … It is to look into the eyes, into the soul of others and ‘feel how they feel’. A hug, a gesture immediately creates a warmth in our heart and the … tears, melt the .. ICY-MASK.
One from Buscaglia’s stories that I remember vividly and say it often:
‘The wife of someone wanted to buy a red, satin, dress, but her husband did not approve -too red, too expensive, not suitable for you, words- and she could not have it… In a few days the wife died. He was distressed and felt guilty. He went and bought the dress and buried her with it’.
This was a big lesson for me. Since then I never discourage or prevent someone from doing what he wants. Desires are born to be … fulfilled. Dreams are meant to .. come true. As long as our desires do not harm others, none has the right to … ‘cut our wings’! After all what is a … red dress, if this can give joy and happiness? Who cares if … others do not approve?? ;-))
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
p.s. Since then I have many …. red dresses and I try to fulfill my .. dreams; because all these desires are the ..reasons for a … reincarnation.. T. x
Dreams ? If only !
‘Never save the best for later. You don’t know what tomorrow holds..’
Paulo Coelho.
A … sign from our Paulo Coelho the …. ALCHEMIST!!
LOVE,
Thelma xxx
when any thing or any body participate the tears with us we will stop doing that inorder not to make them loosing their precious tears. (even the sky sometimes participate tears with us).
During truly intense moments of life,in love or in grief,warmth of pregnant silence speaks thousand times stronger than the spoken words. No spoken words can be good enough to communicate, when the vibes interplay.
very true
This story & picture made me think of a beautiful Zen Koan, I often share with my students:
Is That So?
“The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure
life.
A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him.
Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.
This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after
much harassment at last named Hakuin.
In great anger the parent went to the master. “Is that so?” was all he would
say.
After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost
his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the
child. He obtained milk from his neighbours and everything else he needed.
A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents
the truth – the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the
fishmarket.
The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness,
to apologize at length, and to get the child back.
Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: “Is that so?”
(found @ http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/3isthatso.html )
u can see the +/- similar pictue @ my blog ;)
Ave, namaste, Pax Tibi
Rombout
In our own little ways we can express that we care with each other, sometimes we don’t have to say anything in order to show that we really care. A simple hug, a listening ear or our presence would abate the burden that they carry. Show them that you care and be a part on their healing process.
I’m still scared for everything, why I have to change my identity??? for almost 35 years I’ve never know my self, but how can I accept who is that person??? It’s even harder than I could imagine…how life possibly meet other person hiding on yourself…for so long. I don’t know where I’ve to begin and picking up that part of me…Maybe, another life.
dear, i am scared for everything too, and felt complex towards the concept of self. I am now learning to discover myself, and i found that i have both the opposites characters, and this is myself
so, ask your heart and see it gently : )
we have masks for diff social situation, this is normal:)
“Celui qui connait la virilite mais contient la feminite deviendra un bassin ou s’accumule toute la force du monde; comme il est un bassin pour le monde, il ne sera pas separe de la force eternelle.
Et ainsi, il peut retourner a l’etat de l’enfance – c’est-a-dire de la spontaneite -” Tao te King
Sometimes silence is all u need to be der for someone, very touching story indeed.
Touching story,Paulo.Great timing too.
Sharing is Caring.
Love
sheela
“Sharing is Caring.”
I read all your recent posts, dear Sheela. Hope everything is well?
I didn’t forget about “sharing”. ;)
But last week I had to work hard all day and therefore was only thinking of sleeping instead of learning new technics. :D
Hope it will be better next week.
Love and Hugs,
Claudia.
The best way to cure someone who is hurt is to just sit there and not say a word. thats what my friend did and i finally am almost ready to move on now.
no words could bave cosoled this man of his grief. most of the time words aren’t needed to make someone feel better. just our mere presence says it all…
When you are happy there is alot of people around because youre sorrounding by good energy and people want that, but when youre crying, alone or have problems that is when you find who your real friends are and maybe discover those who have been there for a while but you didnt payd attention to them cheers
..sometimes a hug, or a touch, or just being with the person is more important than even a single word.
I would like to share a link to a song about our inner child it is on facebook but I don’t know how to post it.
Go to Ruben George Music the song is “Bubbles Away”
Thankyou Paulo and friends……I am sure the world is changing
loved it
This is what you call EMPATHY…(“, we
Need more of this today..
“SIN PALABRAS” UN ABRAZO, UN APRETON DE MANOS, UNA PALMADITA EN EL OMBRO, PASAR LA MANO SOBRE SU CABESA. SON GESTOS QUE EXPRESAN NUESTROS SENTIMIENTOS DE CONDOLENCIA.
no one need to offer anyone to show that he cares, all we need is someone to sit beside us and comfort us,
Nothing sweeter than the smell of In…O…scents @
Your presence is a
Divine gift to all of us
And God’s gift to you
Caro Paulo,
Muito obrigado por publicar estes contos,nunca tive a oportunidade de ler qualquer obra de Leo Buscaglia, mas me identifique muito com essa história.
Fui recentemente ao enterro do filho de um grande amigo e num clima de extrema tristeza pois a criança tinha apenas 8 anos, então, assim que fecharam a lápide, as pessoas iam dando palavras de força.
Quando chegou a minha vez de falar com os pais, eu lhes disse chorando muito: “Eu não tenho nenhuma palavra que lhes traga conforto, mas nesse momento eu só posso lhes oferecer as minhas lágrimas”.
presence makes a person feel important… it made me realize something.
QUIERO AGRADECER INFINITAMENTE A MARCO DEMARCO POR TENER LA GENTILEZA DE DIRIGIRSE A MI,PARA TRADUCIRME AL ESPAÑOL DE ESTE HERMOSO TEXTO.
ES UN MENSAJE CORTO PERO CON UNA GRAN ENSEÑANZA QUE HACE DERRETIR CORAZONES DE LO SUBLIME,TIERNOS,Y AMOROSOS QUE SON LOS NIÑOS.NO CABE DUDA QUE LOS NIÑOS SON NUESTROS GRANDES MAESTROS;ELLOS QUE SON NUEVOS EN EL MUNDO, TIENEN MAS SABIDURIA ESPIRITUAL QUE NOSOTROS LOS ADULTOS,POR QUE CON EL PASO DE LOS AÑOS, NUESTRA INOCENCIA LO VAMOS DEJANDO POR EL CAMINO,Y ESO ES UNA GRAN PENA.
GRACIAS SEÑOR COELHO POR ESAS ENSEÑANSAS,ES USTED INCREIBLE!!SIEMPRE NOS SORPRENDE CON HERMOSAS REFLEXIONES. QUE DIOS LE SIGA DANDO SABIDURIA PARA DELEITARNOS CON SUS PALABRAS.
That is just all a person needs sometimes and that is to connect to someone who will help them cry. Thank you Paulo
love this reading and Leo Buscaglia. I also am reading the alchamist in spanish now. As a teacher I learn from my students, I keep going back because their innocence captivates me.
Paolo Sir you have been the inspiration for the world and we need you to be the figure that the world should love more and more. The pray for your well being and the continuous with your wonderful stories which bring the real changes in peoples lives.
Lord, the Almighty bless us all and the world which we are bestowed with.:)
I liked the way you put your thoughts. “I keep going back because their innocence captivates me”. A wonderful way of explaining inter personal relationship in one sentence. The Alchemist will certainly change your outlook towards life. The most important lines in that book is “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” You have a flair for writing. Keep writing.
It doesn’t take a lot of words to console someone who is grieving. Often, a hug, a hand squeeze, or just a presence is enough to comfort them. If you must say something, a simple, “I’m sorry” or “I care about you” will go a long way in comforting them.Just be there for them like this little child in thw story.Taking the time to listen to their emotions goes a long way in helping them to heal
My son pointed me in the proper directions when I was lost. He told me age 1 1/2 where to make the turn at a certain intersection in Tokyo while finding my way back to our home lost in the driver seat. – and much better instructions, too, just from the heart and mind, also regarding spending on things one does not need..
Hay momentos en la vida de una persona en que no existen palabras para consolar, pero un simple gesto, un toque, una compañía sincera,es suficiente para sentir el apoyo que necesitamos. Ese niño hizo un hermoso gesto de apoyo.
I love your style of writing… :-)
me gusta mucho leer a paulo coelho. hace que vivas la lectura desde dentro como muy pokos lo hacen.un abrazo a todos sus lectores..
We all say that children are angels without realizing they are actualy that…angels
That has just brought a tear to my eye! Very touching
What a sweet embrace to be able cry with another! Thank you for this story and reminder.
There are times when a child’s wisdom is far greater than that of a person wearing years. A child can console us like no other. Maybe it is God’s way of telling us that children are at times…the wiser.
Debra, you are quite right I think, Kids have the wisdom we loose as we get older. What a lovely story!
You have put it rightly. Your thoughts reminded me of the poem, ‘Home they brought the warrior dead’
The last lines are as follows
Rose a nurse of ninety years,
Set his child upon her knee—
Like summer tempest came her tears—
‘Sweet my child, I live for thee.’
Keep it up.
love it! i always learn from kids…they only say d truth..they only express their true feelings
” Crying is like washing windows, it helps you see better”
quoted by Anna from the book – Mister God, this is Anna- by Fynn. I just love it so.
love this quote… :)
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