I was approving the comments in this blog today, and I stumbled upon a post by Sibichen K Mathew
In the middle of the post there is a letter. I know what the lady is talking about, as I know that many women – someone mention one in every three – has been abused.
I will reproduce part of the letter here (too long for this blog), but I strongly encourage you to read the post if you ever had this barbaric experience.
Please skip Sibi’s kind comments about Aleph (the may character, Hilal, has been abused also) and go directly to the letter in the middle of it:
Dear Sibi,
I had told you about my childhood abuse by a family member.
As far as I can remember, I was angelic, calm, quiet, and innocent as a little girl. Moreover, highly intelligent too. I stayed at home till I was 7 and then cried to go to a boarding school,(may be to escape from my abuser) I never used to talk and so never had friends, never needed one. Though I am not from a prayerful family, somewhere along the way, a person called God became real in my life. He became my everything in my secret world, and I used to predict many things out of instinct, which was, to a little girl, told by Him. The more such things happened, I became happy with His companionship. I stood first in class, without much efforts, I didn’t feel proud of that first rank either. Nothing mattered at all.
But later on, I knew that someone did something WRONG to me and I was so sad about that. I started feeling bad, deceived. Gradually I became alone, I left my companion, I never spoke nor prayed to Him personally for many many years.
I thought I was used as I was so innocent and ignorant. So I wanted to help and protect myself. I became my god and guardian. I thought I was doing me a big favour. But it resulted in losing my innocence, my character, behaviour, all that was originally created. My world collapsed and went out of my control and I realised about ten years back, what the problem was.
It took many years’ struggle to deal with the abuse, as an adult. First I had to confront him, which was easier than forgiving him. I had to forgive him, as I wanted to get rid of the feeling of his touch which I could feel even after years. I finally looked into his eyes with God’s power of forgiveness and shook hands with him and made peace. Then came the most difficult part, to forgive myself. Years and years of efforts didn’t make it possible, till God did it His way.
When I thought my life is going to start again, there came the worst shock of my life. I identified a small little girl, inside me.The original me. She was there, around three years old, asking me to let her free. After years I understood that I was the girl who needed to be adopted.
to read the full letter, please CLICK HERE
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What an amazingly beautiful ending to such a despairing beginning and how so courageous you are. I read your story Hilal and cried your tears, i felt your pain so deeply… and i know it because, like so many, my story is yours too.
I am in the midst of my own long and winding journey to find inner peace and love for self…it’s been an excruciating journey at times… and still is at times… but i feel nearing it’s end. I have had the assistance of a wonderful psychologist over the past few years and i feel like i am finally moving towards living free of the inner torment.
Along with that i moved towards Buddhism, as a child, like you i prayed for the lord to help me…but help never came and i felt so alone so i stopped believing that it could. Like you, i stopped talking and turned inward for solace…like you i thought i could be my own savior, like you, i was wrong…
I know the strength and courage that it takes to claim back the innocence of your life…i know the painful journey that you have so bravely embarked upon and accomplished Halil…and i feel so joyous for you…and so very proud. You win!
In 2009, as a beloved brother with whom I’d shared a wonderful and supportive relationship, and who lived about ten or so hours from me (by car), was dying, in a shamanic journey (a first for me-I couldn’t understand some things which had begun to occur in my life), a four-year old, my own Divine Inner Child appeared to me and told me why I was feeling so weak, as if it was me that was dying. She showed me an incident which had occurred then, which had been covered up all these interim 54 years, and wherein I’d been so very sweet and smart and achieving (against some mighty big obstacles too sometimes!). In a hormonally charged moment of curiosity this brother had targeted me, and as a result, he left home (at age 14), I developed amnesia for the next four years, and colluded with my well-intending mother to ‘do whatever we needed to do to make everything okay now’. Since 2009, I have been in a program to deal with this life-changing event, which caused me to realize that I am not sure if anything in my life has been ‘real’ or the product of a ‘false’ self. I don’t always understand why things happen when the way in which they do, but I knlow this: My Little One, now present and informing me, is and will be my number one priority. She loved her big brother; he remembered this; I did not. The inappropriate way in which it was handled (or the fact that it was not handled) has adversely affected not only my life and his, but the lives of the other three brothers and all of our children. I would refer others to the work of Marilyn vanDerber and also Maria Montessori for guidance as to how to handle, respectively, adolescent sexual behaviors, which can scar more deeply and longer than rape where the perpetrators are apprehended and removed from the community and healing occurs; and (Montessori) the healthy innate expansion of the incarnation of the one-cell which becomes a six year old.
well … sir paulho coelho i’m nathaly lucero miranda quino .
i from peru of college alfred nobel . my teacher me do read his little redaction
about of el arbol y sus frutos is amazing nos habla about of that the boy deben acrecarse a jesus .
en conclusion se dice que los niños son iguales que sus padres … pero eso no es cierto , ya que LOS NIÑOS PUEDEN SER MEJOR QUE LOS PADRES….
Thank you, all of you, Paulo Coelo and all of you who have written about child abuse in this blog. Our stories are alike yet different, but I do believe that forgivness is important, I believe that to forgive is to heal. Many people do not understand the true meaning of the word and cannot start their journey towards healing by thinking of forgiveness. I have healed from sexual abuse and battery in childhood. Each person has his or her own road to walk towards healing and I have written down mine in the form of a novel, I have done this with one purpose – to help someone else. I would be grateful if someone would help to spread the word about my work so that my psychological novel may reach the right readers in order to help. This is my contribution. The book is soon to be released and can be found at amazon.com and barnesandnoble. bookstores. The text below is about the book so that you might get an ideá of what it is about. My namne is Altea, I am a Swedish teacher and healer, who has written in English to reach as many as possilbe with my hope, experience and compassion.
HAPPINESS WAS A RED CADILLAC
A true story of sex, violence and healing.
The setting is an exotic norhtern Sweden of the seventies.
A strong story about severe trauma yet filled with hope and joy.
A childhood evoked within a dysfunctional family in the north of Scandinavia. Embedded in a frame, there are flashbacks into Sweden of the seventies. The author captures the complexity of such families by making it a multiple perspective narration, to rightfully charactarize the perpetrator, victims, and society around them. Joy and sorrow are blended in perfect balance together with insights and clues hidden in symbolism.
This novel is written for you, the fellow human being with an interest in people and psychology, but may also be suitable for people who study or work in all kinds of occupations where you tend for others. Even if you don’t have any – known – personal relationship to a victim, you can find something of use in this text. For the reader, who is a survivor of such things, the pages provide both tears and great amounts of hope.
Thank you,
Altea
I have shared in my blog (http://gratarbre.blogspot.com) what was Mr. Coelho’s mysterious part in my break through.
Each abuse is different…each one’s reaction to it is different…each one’s way of dealing with it is different.
Yet, it all makes the abused, handicapped in many ways. Sometimes these events make an abuser out of them.
I wonder how many in this world know what child abuse is!!
It can be a touch, a caress, a fondling,, making the child believe that it is out of love and care…many won’t understand till they grow up to find out that something unusual, unwanted, wrong, happened in their life.
God’s ways are so perfect. His will is the ultimate thing to happen in our life.
God has a plan for each of us. I have lost my whole life in this suffering and battle. But I am happy that my story makes some of you very sure and hopeful about your recovery.
I am available always in my small world to share with you my journey, if it helps anyone to have hope.
Se pueden escribir miles de formulas para poder superar lo vivido , perome pregunto ,si tu medicina me sirve a mi?
el que me engendro; el que tenia el deber de cuidarme ; protejerme ; y velar por mi seguridad , fue mi agresor; mi padre.
Coraje , impotencia , asco , y nada, solamente nada.
como superar eso? como explicarme a mi misma que yo no tuve la culpa , que yo no era responsable de los actos de los de mas ; como decirme a mi misma : ya pequeñita , ya paso todo. No hay mas , ya no, solo nos queda la rebeldia y enojarme con el mundo y con migo misma por no haberme ayudado.
Han pasado muchos años desde aquello, y poco a poco me fui dando cuenta lo que yo era.
Y hoy puedo decir que soy un SER humano , no un humano; encontre la diferiencia , el humano se enfrasca en el sufrimiento y el dolor el rencor y el coraje ,odio y ganas de vengarse ; el SER humano se da cuenta que no solo es un cuerpo , sino que tiene algo mucho mas importante dentro de el , tiene al SER , ese que nadie te lo puede tocar , no se pueden acercar a el , solamente yo;y que es lo que realmente deceo para mi ? paz en mi corazon y tranquilidad en mi mente ; tengo un alma , no solo soy un cuerpo, el cuerpo te lo pueden dañar , el alma solo si tu te lo permites, hoy por hoy , entendi que vine a aprender , y que toda experiencia vivida es para crecer y de mi depende que hacer con ella; ya no lo culpo , ya no me culpo , vine a aprender , y lucho cada dia por ser un guerrero de la luz, esos que se equivocan pero se levantan, esos que lastiman pero saben pedir perdon, esos que aman la experiencia de vivir sea cual sea, y dan las gracias por la armadura que le entregaron antes de ser.
Sr Coelho esto va dirigido a usted :
No es facil , pero tampoco imposible , con escritores como usted, que permiten a sus lectores como yo aprender, las cosas cambian de rumbo y la manera de sentir es diferente, no soy una victima , sino una guerrera que dia a dia trasnforman las experiencias en triunfos y usted tiene algo de participacion en esta historia.
Mil gracias por darme algo de usted.
MAKTUB
Dearest Paulo Coelho and to Everyone that has intimately shared their stories…
It is truly encouraging and healing to read so many peoples truths and passionate insights about child abuse and the consequences thereafter. I believe it is with this transparency that such an horrific reality will lesson the taboo and thus eliminate the overwhelming rate in which the crime is rising.
I too am a surviver of child abuse: my father and 4 other men sexually abused me all before the age of 8. It wasn’t until i had my first child ( first of 3 girls) that my spirit allowed the memories that my mind had hidden (for my safety) to arise, for my daughters safety. in the process of dredging up all of the horrific and disgusting memories in order to prove my self sane and keep my daughter safe, i lost both my parents and extended family to ignorance and the inability to take responsibility. i have spent 10 years in and out of therapy, many, many years being completely disillusioned about humanity and just simply scared of life. To summarise what i have been through would be belittling of such an enormous journey and all the precious moments that got me through. but i would like to share this:
I truly believe that anxiety is like a fever trying to burn up the deep dark illness within and if you can find a safe place in which you can sit and be still with it, and not try to run from it, nor feed it, nor stuff it down, nor poor it out, but sit with it, know it is your own spirit healing itself, then you ‘will’ heal your hurt…bit by bit…and eventually your spirit will find a gentle way of kindling your true self and once again you will shine!
may love be with all of you and may so much love go to you Paulo Coelho for being such a powerful believer and advocate of the human spirit!
an thank you for the opportunity to share my story ((( <3 ))))
i found this today, and thought it very apt to share here…
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
i am still wondering why God let it happen to me or to others who experienced the same animal fate. i have been suffering in silence for years. nobody in my family knew what happened to me. i tried to forgive my abuser – but i cant, i am too angry and weak to forgive.
@ Ava, you are not weak, you are not alone, and you are entitled to just feel what you feel about it.
A “light bulb” moment of clarity came to me when someone told me the following words:
“You have every right to be angry”
It wasn’t until i heard it put so directly that I realized I didn’t ever allow myself to just be angry and mad and full of hate for that person and what they did. The 7 stages of grief include anger, and I think we need to use all of them in healing of this kind.
Eventually, the wrenching pain will be gone.
So Ava, YOU have every right to be angry, tofeel what you feel and if you don’t want to, you never have to forgive them- EVER!!!
I would hope you are able to let go of the self-shame, because while I didn’t blame myself for what happened, I allowed the abuse to make me feel as though I was “less than” in some way or had been marked somehow. That was/is the part that I work on still.
I don’t want to forgive the person that hurt me. I know it’s so important to some people in their healing, but that isn’t what will make me feel better ever.
I also don’t want to waste any of my wonderful moments of life thinking about them forever, so I just focus instead on making sure I do the right things for me to live a happy and healthy life.
I don’t know if any of this will ring true for you, but I picked up a lot of what I felt in my process of healing in the words that you wrote.
So get angry girl!!! Get mad and control that fire powered energy into making a life where only the happiest and best life is what you create for yourself.
Also, if you are able to, volunteer at a non-profit who works with people who’ve shared our experience.
No one knows better than fellow survivors do what will bring comfort in a dark time, and by helping others, you help create the kind of world where people care for and nurture others rather than hurting and abusing them
Lots of hugs from the universe getting sent your way…
@kay..thank you..i wish i could meet more people like you in person
We all have to find our own way of healing. Authors of such books are simply giving us an option or options. Maybe forgiving is one way of lightening the load which we bear. We say “thank you” to all those who try to offer us ways to handle situations where we find ourselves lost in the dark. There will always be a light at the end, and these are the people who are showing us the way to that light in their own way.
It’s really hard to control such abuse, day by day the situation is getting out of control and the abuse takes place at home, for relatives or not, sometimes by internet, even though, really difficult to struggle against the abuse.
it came to reading this post, somebody here realized why is it so hard to go on, even after forgiving the abuser long time ago. That because she hasn’t forgiven herself.
to all the people who went through childhood abuse.
Thank you for this post Paulo :-j
I had such a long way to forgive such thing… but at least living this in my own life I could realise how to know myself better and I had to learn how to love unconditionnaly the others, but also and in primis myself. It was a long hard way. I think that in the years the search of the Light and the meaning of the divine side of existence, helped me to open my heart and grew my heart till to reach an inhuman kind of “LOVE”, maybe a Love who could be a gate, a door to something bigger. SHE became the reason of my life SHE The Godess and I became some kind of “Warrior of Light”. This experience shows you as the girl in this letter says how to forgive the worst… ho to forgive the hell… so this is th ebig challenge to forgive the devil… This is I think the only way of the world to reach the great enlightment… the way of forgiveness, the way of the heart, the way of the earth who´s pure LOVE because SHE is the heart of the LIGHT, of the Father as ALL the creation is. FOr me it is quite important to consider each human being as a diamond, something so precious who´s part of the all. Because we ar the all, and all is in us…
So the meaning of my life is to help people to reach enlightment and love, and to share my experience on this way, to open my heart more and more maybe till all the world con be enlighted from him. The heart is the source. Because The Love is the source… it is the hooliest healer as Paulo says and I fully agree with this point of view.
I adore the book of Paulo, because he shows him honnestly with his fears, with is doubts. Doubts are first step on transforming the inner being… when you doubt you are starting your way tho grew your soul. I had very difficult childhood, but I immagine that it was some kind of cross to carry on to reach the KING in myself… because he DID. HE was carrying the cross to win over the Darkness… so HE IS THE SUN WHO CAN´T BE WIN. HE IS THE LIGHT.
We are all robin´s who take one of the spines of his crown, when we forgive our suffering and go trough it to reach the LIGHT. So we become part of the King by Kings… so we are blessed in him, because one day all the world will be pure LIGHT and we all will reach the GREAT ENLIGTHMENT.
With so much LOVE, I send you my heart to all of you in there… The world is changing because one little part of us is changing and I think that this is the most important thing… Sending you Light,
Cris
Thank you, Cris, for such enlightening words.
Thanks, Pandora for posting Vaxxs’ comments.
if forgiveness occurs, then it will be the by-product of reflections, living one’s life, & increasing one’s understanding, but not the basis of healing.
feeling the rage of being abused fully is important. because if one had this feeling fully there at that moment, it could have been a support to express the abuse to other people at this time.
not feeling the rage & suppressing it because one wants to forgive … is only exposing oneself for the next abuse that can come in a slightly modified form.
I think first and foremost, that it is important to remember, that Christ who was dying on the cross said “Forgive them Lord”, not “I forgive you”.
You cannot give forgiveness to someone who doesn’t seek it from you and isn’t totally repentant and even then it has to be your personal choice and one that should not under any circumstances be pressurised as part of an abused person’s healing.
There is no cure, and offenders re-offend time and time again, destroying other peoples lives like a disease, so I view this as very dangerous, as your actions are enabling more abuse to take place.
Have attached a video link which I hope will explain further which I hope can be posted here:
http://www.wallsofsilence.com/musicvideo.php?vid=de8bac478
it features Oprah Winfrey who also suffered childhood abuse. (It is in four parts and is very disturbing)
Thank you…
Dear Mr. Coelho, my friend Sibi, all their readers who addressed me,
I am G, Sibi’s friend.
Thank you and God bless you Mr. Coelho for publishing my letter (through Sibichen K Mathew’s review) in your blog. I am yet to read Aleph, except for the few lines in the review and in your blog. I was shocked and surprised to see that many things among them were written in my diary.
Thank you my friend Sibi, who made a new world around me today.
Thank you all their readers for their genuine words of encouragement and sharing.
Here I am, the little girl, standing with her Companion, to thank Heaven and earth for everything. I want to smile at all the people who suffer like I suffered and say “God loves you, God cares for you, God can restore whatever you have lost”.
I know that you have millions of questions to ask me. I too have asked. But never ever say that there is no answer.
You might be suffering hell on earth and may be you are in a situation in which you think that it is better to die and reach hell than not being able to live at all. But never ever think that life is over.
I have gone through this long years’ journey of pain and torment which led to forgiveness and gratitude, and finally let free, a three year old kid who lived inside me for past 40 plus years.
This child has come out to live, to smile, to bring hope. She wants to live as a light which brightens life, and as a love which heals wounds.
Through her pain she became one with all those who underwent the same experience… may her struggle for liberation give hope to those who fight to come out of their pain..and may her new life stand as the proof for all those who doubt their ultimate liberation.
Look at me. I am real. All the shame I suffered, all that I lost, all the pains and regrets, everything vanished from me, at the moment of liberation…created new…
Here I stand before you, as a gift to mankind, who God used as His instrument, to show the world that God is Love and Love never fails and with God, all things are possible.
Glory fills my soul and my cup overflows…Surely goodness and mercy will follow me, all through my life.
with love and prayers, G.
P.S.
Mme/Mlle Marie Christine, Merci beaucoup pour la traduction de ma lettre en francais. Pourriez-vous traduire la suite de cette lettre qui se trouve sur le site de Sibichen K Mathew, s’il vous plait? J’aimerais bien la lire en francais. Je vous remercie…amities, G
Marie Christine:
Les choses qui sont arrivees recemment dans ma vie etaient bizarres mais avaient une raison.Avec toute l’audace et la confidence en moi, j’etais simplement une esclave de beaucoup de peine et d’humiliations. Rien de ce que je creais, ne marchait,
La fille en moi vivait toute ses annees, comme ma personalite etouffee, refoulee,et je n’ai jamais derivee aucun bons sentiments de ma personalite artificielle. La nuit je disais a Dieu et a moi-meme que je me deteste, je comprenais qu’il y avait plus que cela, Je priais et j’ai trouve que je deteste ma fausse personalite que j’ai adopte pendant des annees autour de cette petite fille innocente.
La petite fille pleurait pour elle et je pleurais avec elle. Je savais qu’elle avait souffert toutes ses annees et qu’elle avait besoin de moi constamment. Le moment est venu ou ses cris arriverent au point de sa liberation soit par la mort ou la vie, et je n’ai pas eu d’autre choix que de tenir compte de ses sanglots. Ce fut le moment de ma plus grande realisation de toute ma vie. L’INNOCENCE EST LA PLUS GRANDE FORCE DANS TOUT L’UNIVERS. Rien de ce que je pensais ou la facon dont je vivais pouvait faire le moindre changement a la pensee ou la vie de la petite fille a l’interieur de moi. Elle est restee et a attendue pendant des decades pour gagner sa bataille.
Grace a la force de son innocence, j’ai decide de la liberer vers la vie a travers le pouvoir de son innocence en emportant tout ce que j’avais cree autour d’elle. Avec Dieu, et Dieu seulement , toutes les choses sont possibles.
Je l’ai vu, l’innocente petite fille, son sourire, sa joie, pres d’elle, son compagnon d’enfance est reste fidele pendant tout son voyage.
Je voulais en savoir plus sur mon enfance. Alors j’ai appele ma tante qui m’aime comme si j’etais sienne. Elle m’
a dit que j’etais un ange. Je lui ai demande de me montrer une fille comme cela dans ma famille ou ailleurs. Elle m’a dit que jusqu’a present, elle n’avait jamais rencontre une enfant aussi speciale ou une personne qui puisse m’egaler.
Ceci furent les mots memes qu’elle a utilise pour decrire mon enfance. J’avais l’habitude de regarder et chercher partout pour une gosse comme moi mais je ne pouvais pas trouver quelqu’un comme moi.
J’ai remercie Dieu pour garder cette personnalite angelique vivante en moi (bien qu’elle fut une cause constante de conflits interieurs , de nombreuses fois j’ai pense de la tuer ou de la donner a Dieu.)
Maintenant que cette petite fille m’a rendu mon identite perdue et la vie, j’ai le plus grand desir d’aller au paradis apres une purification totale sur la terre , et d’etre appelee une Sainte par Dieu,
Et je suis sure que si je devais vivre dans mon authenticite, j’aurais ete si proche de Dieu et vecue dans Son pouvoir comme Son instrument.
De toute facon, ma vie n’est pas terminee et Dieu n’a pas besoin de temps pour faire des miracles et remplir les intervalles de toutes ses annees.
Dans chaque histoire, Dieu nomme des personnages. Il y a un pere, une mere, un professeur, un ami, beaucoup plus, dans la mienne. Mais parmi les quelques personnages importants, il y a un ami, un seul, qui a joue une part precise dans mon retour vers moi-meme et cet ami, Sibi, c’est toi. Et tres etrangement, j’avais l’habitude de t’appeler seulement par le nom ‘ami’.
Je suis tellement reconnaissante a tous les gens et les incidents qui ont change ma vie. Merci infiniment mon cher, pour avoir ete l’instrument de Dieu dans ma vie. Je ne peux jamais repayer en aucune facon et je ne veux pas faire cela pour ton travail Divin, Mais le Seigneur a qui tu obeis, te benira et te rendra prospere dans tout ce qui sur la terre et le paradis,
Je t’aime tant mon ami, je suis enthousiasme de partager cette joie avec toi.
Prends soin de toi.
Amour
Thank you for sharing this story.It is a very good opportunity to everyone to consider such matter.This letter is a letter to any of us in person. To the ones who got through such experience and the ones who were witnesses of such incidents.Help people to talk about this.
It touches our deepest spots. There is much abuse in many shapes in the world and we all are trying to get rid of those shadows.
It took many years to get rid if those shadows.My body and soul was full of those spots.That filth..It took me many years to find out that finally, I am clean. That I was clean from the beginning. There is no dirt on me.
While my soul and body was feeling drown in hell, i had a little spot of life. A small diary, talking to the Man above.. Isolated in myself, tending to find a little place to sleep, so I could dream more and more of another world, where I lived happily ever after; I kept talking to the Man above. That was my only spot of light..
Afer many years, now, everything I dreamed of, became a reality. My dreams are getting life every day.God made them real in every detail mentioned in that diary.
I do not own a diary anymore. It is not necessary. That little girl is free. I am having my Personal Legend.Now, I must learn to take care of my dreams and not kill what I love.
I cannot say that I have forgotten, because I haven’t and maybe It is better for me not to. Cause my past made me who I am now.
I am not afraid. I tore the shadow curtain apart.
So, to everyone out there, who was abused in that way, to everyone feeling guilty for something they were not responsible for, for anyone who wants revenge…don’t!
The best revenge against such evil , is to fight against it and give your self the joy and happiness that it deserves. Love is the antidote. Get your life in your hands and move on freely and give yourself some piece of happiness every day. Grow your heart huge and it will drown all the filth and evil through its love.
Do not give up at any cost.We all have the chance to correct what has been damaged.We must not be afraid to talk about it.We are here, we are alive and we have the faith to move on and get rid of everything that we do not want! We are able of doing any journey towards the light.
Do it now.
The Big Man above is always around, even when you think he is not.
Thank you Paulo.
German Translation of G, Sibis Friend Blog Post
Vielen Dank …
Sehr geehrter Herr Coelho, mein Freund Sibi, alle ihre Leser, die mich angesprochen haben
Ich bin G, Sibi Freund.
Vielen Dank und Gott segne Sie, Herr Coelho für die Veröffentlichung meines Briefes (durch Sibichen K Mathew Rezension) in Ihrem Blog. Ich habe Aleph noch nicht gelesen, außer ein paar Zeilen im Rewiev und in Ihrem Blog. Ich war schockiert und überrascht zu sehen, dass viele Dinge von ihnen in mein Tagebuch geschrieben wurden.
Danke mein Freund Sibi, der heute eine neue Welt um mich herum gemacht hat.
Ich danke Ihnen, allen ihren Lesern für ihre aufrichtigen Worte der Ermutigung und des Teilens.
Hier bin ich, das kleine Mädchen, mit ihrem Begleiter, um dem Himmel und der Erde für alles zu danken. Ich möchte an alle Menschen, die, wie ich gelitten haben lächelnd sagen: “Gott liebt dich, Gott sorgt für dich: Gott kann wiederhergestellt, was du verloren hast.”
Ich weiß, dass du Millionen von Fragen an mich hast. Auch ich habe gefragt. Aber nie und nimmer gesagt das es keine Antwort gibt.
Vielleicht erleidest du die Hölle auf Erden und bist in einer Situation, in der du denkst, dass es besser ist zu sterben, und in die Hölle zu kommen, als nicht in der Lage zu sein überhaupt zu leben. Aber glaube niemals, dass das Leben vorbei ist.
Ich ging durch diese jahrelange Reise von Schmerzen und Qualen, die zur Vergebung und Dankbarkeit führte, und schließlich habe ich ein drei Jahre altes Kind frei gelassen das für mehr als 40 Jahre in mir lebte
Dieses Kind kam zum Leben, zum Lächeln, und um Hoffnung zu bringen . Sie will ein Licht sein, welches das Leben erhellt, und wie eine Liebe, die Wunden heilt.
Durch ihre Schmerzen wurde sie eins mit allen, die die gleiche Erfahrung unterzogen wurden … möge ihr Befreiungskampf denen Hoffnung geben die darum kämpfen sich von ihren Schmerzen zu befreien, .. und möge ihr neues Leben als Beweis dienen für all diejenigen, die an ihrer ultimativen Befreiung zweifeln.
Schau mich an. Ich bin Real. Alle Schande, die ich erlitten habe, alles, was ich verloren habe, all die Schmerzen, die Reue, fiel alles von mir ab im Augenblick der Befreiung … neu geboren …
Hier stehe ich vor dir, als Geschenk an die Menschheit, welche Gott benutzt als Sein Instrument, um der Welt zu zeigen, dass Gott Liebe ist, die Liebe versagt nie, und mit Gott sind alle Dinge möglich.
Ruhm füllt meine Seele und meine Tasse läuft über … Lauter Güte und Huld werden mir folgen, mein ganzes Leben.
mit Liebe und Gebeten, G.
P.S.
Mrs / Ms Marie Christine, Danke für die Übersetzung meines Briefes ins französische.. Könntest du bitte diesen Brief übersetzen ich würde ihn gerne auf französisch lesen Danke … Freundschaft, G
Boa tarde Guerreiro
Dilacerante ler sobre tanta dor. E ler sobre a cura é renascer. O que mais me marcou do post inteiro foi:
“Com Deus, e somente Deus, tudo é possível”
Creio nisso com todo coração. Passei por experiencias dolorosas tbém e me curei assim, depois de adulta.
Não digo q a cura está completa mas tenho fé nisso.
Feliz demais pelo sucesso do Aleph nos EUA, reflexo do amor q esse livro espalha, pelas reações q causa na nossa alma e gera comentarios como este q originou este post.
Maria vai na frente, ampliando seu caminho, Deus nos guia.
Te amo Guerreiro, bjossss :)
ps- Já dá pra postar link de video aqui ou nao ainda?
Another perspective:
Andrew Vachss (rhymes with ax), doesn’t talk from the point of view from hypothesis or theory. A warrior, he has exposed child abuse for 30 years.
“A particularly pernicious myth is that “healing requires forgiveness” of the abuser.”
Todd: You’ve said that true anger and hatred can be effective tools against abuse. Does this go against the current trend towards forgiveness or do you think that forgiveness by itself is faulty?
Vachss: I think forgiveness by itself – let’s face it – any doctrine which teaches forgiveness is probably written by perpetrators.
Todd: Well, yeah, I was thinking of the Bible.
Vachss: Let’s just be honest about it – with forgiveness – that it is an individual choice and that the right belongs to the wronged, not society, but to the person actually wronged. Telling people that you can not heal unless you forgive is a pernicious, destructive lie because so many people say, “I can’t forgive what they did to me so I’m doomed. I’ll never heal.” As if you had the obligation not only to be abused but to forgive the abuser. There’s nothing about that dynamic that’s psychologically correct. Nothing. In a way, it’s supporting – I’m the therapist and I’m telling you – “Yeah, look Todd, I did these horrible things to you but you have to forgive them.” So who am I advocating for there? Who’s side am I on?
Todd: You’re advocating for the person who abused.
Vachss: “The healthiest people I know are people who say, “I hate them for what they did and I’m going to get even. The way I’m going to get even is I’m going to protect other children.”
http://www.wallsofsilence.com/article.php?c=vachssinterview&page=1
syncronicity?
In the beginning of this year a book was released
from a famous Swedish high jumper (he even had the world-
record for a while) where he revealed his long kept secret – he had been abused by his trainer when he was a young adolescent.
Finally your book gets translated and there is Hilals story. (and your own) A story which was ment to be shared.
Forgiveness… a blessing to receive, to give.
Ich überprüfte heute die Kommentare in diesem Blog, und ich stolperte über ein Beitrag von Sibichen K Mathew
In der Mitte des Posts gibt es einen Brief. Ich weiß, worüber die Dame spricht, wie ich weiß, dass viele Frauen – manche behaupten eine von drei – missbraucht wurden.
Ich werde einen Teil des Briefes hierher kopieren (er ist zu lang für diesen Blog), aber ich ermutige euch den Beitrag lesen, wenn ihr jemals diese barbarische Erfahrung gemacht habt.
Bitte überspringt Sibi überaus netten Kommentar zu Aleph (der Hauptcharakter, Hilal, wurde auch missbraucht) und geht direkt in die Mitte des Briefes:
Sehr geehrte Sibi,
Ich hatte dir über meine Kindheit und den Missbrauch durch ein Familienmitglied erzählt.
Soweit ich mich erinnern kann, war ich ein Engel, brav, ruhig und unschuldig wie ein kleines Mädchen. Darüber hinaus auch hochintelligent. Ich blieb zu Hause, bis ich 7 war und wollte dann unbedingt auf ein Internat gehen, (um meinem Schänder zu entkommen) ich habe nie geredet und so hatte ich nie Freunde, nie brauchte ich welche. Obwohl ich nicht aus einer gläubigen Familie stamme, irgendwo auf dem Weg, wurde eine Person namens Gott real in meinem Leben. Er wurde mein ein und alles in meiner geheimen Welt, und ich habe viele Dinge aus Instinkt vorhergesagt, welche er dem kleinen Mädchen erzählt hatte. Je mehr solche Dinge passierten, desto glücklicher wurde ich mit seiner Begleitung. Ich war die Klassenbeste, ohne viel Aufwand, ich fühlte mich nicht stolz, dass ich auf dem ersten Platz war. Nichts war wirklich wichtig.
Aber später, wusste ich, dass jemand etwas FALSCH mit mir gemacht hat und ich war so traurig darüber. Ich fing an sich schlecht zu fühlen, betrogen. Allmählich war ich allein von meinem Begleiter verlassen, ich habe nie persönlich mit ihm gesprochen, noch gebetet zu ihm in vielen, viele Jahren.
Ich dachte, ich wurde benutzt, weil ich so unschuldig und unwissend war. Also wollte ich helfen und mich selbst schützen. Ich wurde zu meinem Gott und Beschützer. Ich dachte, ich tue mir einen großen Gefallen. Aber es das resultierte im Verlust meiner Unschuld, meines Charakter, meines Verhaltens, all das was ursprünglich da war. Meine Welt brach zusammen und ich verlor meine Kontrolle und ich erkannte, vor 10 Jahren, was das Problem war.
Es erforderte viele Jahre Kampf um mit dem Missbrauch umzugehen wie ein Erwachsener. Zuerst musste ich ihn konfrontieren, die war einfacher, als ihm zu vergeben. Ich musste ihm verzeihen, das Gefühl seiner Berührung loswerden, welches ich sogar noch nach Jahren spüren konnte. Ich sah schließlich in seine Augen mit Gottes Kraft der Vergebung und reichte ihm die Hand und machte Frieden. Dann kam der schwierigste Teil, mir selbst zu vergeben. Jahre und Jahre der Bemühungen machten es nicht möglich, bis Gott es auf seine Art tat.
Als ich dachte, mein Leben beginnt wieder von neuem, da kam die schlimmste Schock meines Lebens. Ich identifizierte ein kleines Mädchen, in mir. Das Original ICH war es, rund drei Jahre alt, es bat mich, freigelassen zu werden. Nach Jahren habe ich verstanden, dass ich das kleine Mädchen war, das adoptiert werden musste.
zum Lesen der vollständigen Briefes HIER KLICKEN