After an exhausting morning spent talking to children, I go and have lunch with my lawyer friend, Shelley M.
In the restaurant, we are given a table next to one occupied by a drunk, who insists on talking to us.
He speaks of his pain when his wife left him, tells us how sad he is and asks us what he should do.
At one point, Shelley asks the drunk to be quiet, but he says:
‘Why? I spoke of love as a sober man never would. I revealed my joys and my sorrows. I tried to make contact with two strangers. What’s wrong with that?’
‘It’s not the right moment,’ she says.
‘Do you mean that there is a right moment to suffer for love?’
At these words, we invite the drunk to join us.
Shelley and the drunk
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Did he buy a round?
There was a practice some teacher was trying to sell me once! Whom said apart from having 5000 goals! Was do this spinning exercise like the wirlling dervashes (scuse spelling, its not code! lol) She said to prevent sex, that fast from sex increases your energy to channel into your ctivities, to have an orgasm wasted it. Whats your take on that area, many seem to promote this abstence from knocking boots
La verdad es que lo normal es no distinguir la buena voluntad de la mala, los buenos sentimientos de la falsedad. Entonces es fácil disfrazarse de cordero y ser un lobo, es fácil ser noble y que te hagan parecer malo.
Me gusta:
“Solo se ve bien con el corazón, lo indispensable es invisible a los ojos”
Un saludo.
Oh Boy :) That drunk could have been my muse for my next post….Glad to see you here!
Hello paulo:
This attempt at communication is rare and shows our divisions in community. The act of kindness to invite a stranger for lunch was not natural but done more out of shame. It was still done for whatever reason and a man got some food in his belly to better survive in a community that has shut him out.
Kind regards,
Mike
Sometimes I think love is the source of all suffering. But as this shows, there is no “right moment” to suffer for love, and similarly no right moment to be enraptured by it either, it just happens. What I struggle with is all the spaces in between. I never seem to learn how to just be, because I’m always fluctuating from one end of the spectrum to the other, and now I don’t know if it’s something I’ve learned or not learned, or just my nature, all or nothing.
Toda la experiencia se reduce a:
“Solo se ve bien con el corazón, lo indispensable es invisible a los ojos”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, El Principito.
…buena reacción…
dear Paulo,
I read all of your books published in croatia and now they represent some kind of guidelines in my life… I would really like to meet you, do you have any plans to come to croatia again any time soon?
greetings :)
Acabo de llegar de clase de música, y es una pena, hay una persona mala, arrastra al grupo, lo calienta y lo lanza contra el profesor que es muy buen tío pero tiene puntos débiles por los que penetrar.
No se dan cuenta. Es una pena que por esta clase de bichos esté le mundo como está.
Un saludo.
El borrachó marcó el momento para hablar de los sentimientos.
In swedish:
Shelley och den berusade
Efter en utmattande förmiddag tillbringad med att prata med barn, går jag och äter lunch tillsammans med min advokatvän, Shelley M.
I restaurangen får vi bordet intill ett, upptagen av en berusad, som insisterar på att prata med oss.
Han talar om sin smärta när hans fru lämnade honom, berättar hur ledsen han är och frågar oss vad han ska göra.
Vid ett tillfälle ber Shelley den berusade att vara tyst, men han säger:
“Varför? Jag talade om kärleken som en nykter människa aldrig skulle göra. Jag avslöjade min glädje och min sorg. Jag försökte att få kontakt med två främlingar. Vad är det för fel med det? ”
“Det är inte rätt tidpunkt, säger hon.
“Menar du att det finns ett rätt ögonblick för att lida för kärlekens skull?”
Vid dessa ord bjuder vi in den berusade till oss.
I original postad här: http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2012/01/11/daily-message-113/
Paulo Coelho på svenska: http://www.facebook.com/PauloCoelhoSverige
Översättning: oLaVie (kommentera gärna)
Thanks Otto for the translation
I was reading it and noticed there were quite a few words I could understand.
I am not sure why it made me think of when the Jews separated and divided into two main groups the Sefarades (Spanish) and the Ashkenazes (German) From the language point of view I would put the Swedish language into the Ashkenazes side . Possibly languages might even have evolved from that parting,. I am just imagining but what the heck and why not…
Love
Marie-Christine
I also interpret this story in such a way that we can sometimes tend to judge based on someone’s appearance before deciding whether or not we want anything to do with that person. In this story, the man was drunk when he approached the table, we sometimes put a judgment that based on this fact, we do not want to associate with him and perceive him as having nothing important or worthwhile to say.
A few months ago, while waiting for a bus in the streets of Buenos Aires, a homeless person was walking the streets asking for some change. He was doing so by striking up conversations with the people waiting in line..He approached a couple, tourists, not only did they ignore him, they waved their hand to him as if to tell him to keep his distance..the homeless person just smiled, apologized and told them, please, I am not worthy to cause anyone any frustration, do not let this ruin your day, you need to enjoy every moment!
I was with an Argentine friend, I told her, I want to talk to him…I found out that this man had chosen to live in the streets. He was a very well respected doctor in Buenos Aires for many years. When his wife passed away, he went through a depression, he decided to leave everything behind and go live in the streets. I later learned that a high percentage of the homeless in Buenos Aires are living in the streets by choice. Many of them with a high education background…talking to them is one of the most enriching moments anyone could experience!
That it is amazing…
hello i love what you write im a friend of keith parkins im going to write a review on aleph when i read it and he said he would show you when he sees u in march?? please would you look at it when he shows you?? alice
wonderful :)
Любовь светла.
Страдание-темно.
Когда любовь пришла-
Оно уж не видно.
Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
A Drinking Song, W B Yeats
It is my ~”opinion”~ it doesn’t matter what we believe as long as we ~”Love”~ ~”Fervently”~. But in order to ~”Love”~ ~”Fervently”~ we must ~”Fervently Believe”~ in ~”Love”~. So it does matter what we believe.
NOSTRA 1999 DAMUS 9111 ~“Feeling”~ ~“led”~ almost ~“compelled”~ to ~“write”~ my(free)~“book”~ ~”DIVINE 9/11 INTERVENTON”~@ LOVEGODISLOVEdotORG ~“thusly”~ I ~“discovered”~ a ~“77”~ ~“alignment”~ of ~“seven…”~’s ~“hidden”~ in the book of ~“Revelation”~! Do you think ~“this”~ ~“physical evidence”~ of ~“Spiritual Intelligence”~(i.e.~“God”~)might cause more of ~“us”~ to sit up and take notice of what it ~“truly”~ means to ~“Love thy neighbour as thyself.”~! Watch “The Curtain is Moving Again” here
Sometimes it become very important to have a listener otherwise we look for strangers and try to speak with them even if they are not interested in our stories and can not feel the pain that we are feeling. It is more important when it is pain of love.
hahaha…goodness! What a clever reply. love Avantika
Screw suffer for love.. If you loose love you will gain it double.. Just keep moving.. Alcohol is good to get us to open up about what goes on in the heart. Addictions are killers..
Dear Paulo, This speaks to me how busy and important our lives are. I have met new people in the grocery store who tell me of their sorrows. Some find this amazing. I find it endearing. One lady told me that her daughter lived near seven mile island and is dying from being in contact with the nucular melt down. She wished she could go back in time and bake cookies with her daughter again.
Another lady told me that she is raising her 2 grandchildren and is so tired but she will do all she can to raise them. Her daughter abandonded these children to live a life with drugs. The grandmothers husband was killed recently and she misses him so.
Then there was the lady who was worried about her 13 year old having migranie headaches all the time.
Just the other day a young boy about 10 asked if he could help me find the spice I was looking for. He was with his dad. They ended up telling me how much they love grilling out.
Life is GOOD,
Me da la sensación que llevamos una mascara para relaccionarnos con el entorno y ocultar lo que pensamos y sentimos. Cuando nos mostramos como somos vemos que tenemos más en comun de lo que parece. Todos los disfraces que nos ponemos, quizá sean para ocultar algo, quizá para protegernos de los que juzgan a los que dicen la verdad, a veces he sido señalado con el dedo por hacer cosas que no eren malas pero no eran “normales”, creo que en el fondo mi libertad molestaba a los que se quieren promocionar socialmente haciendo lo que concede promoción social si se hace, este tipo de comportamientos no dejan de ser disfraces con los que atraerse el favor del grupo, aunque en el fondo pieso que sentían cierta envidia porque al fin y al cabo, mi vida la decido yo aunque para algunos (que suelen estar más pendientes de la vida de los demás que de la suya) pueda parecer un bicho raro.
Resulta extraño que nos resulte extraño que alguien se muestre como es.
Un saludo.
This story has two aspects:
1)”in vino veritas”, as latin said (i.e. in the wine there is the truth);
2)there is a right moment to do the right thing, but some subjects, like love, are always important.
Love.
Cris
‘un alcoolique est avant tout un domine qui tente de se liberer.’ Dr O. Soulier
an alcoholic is above all a person who is being dominated by someone and who is attempting to free oneself.
We all have something we want to say.
you can say it in a song, a poem, a film, a book or in every day’s life you” reveal your joys and sorrows.” and looking at the newspapers there must be a lot of sorrows there are not too many joys shared,so
Kudos for inviting the drunk to join you.
Hope you shared a nice glass of something with that person,
With love
Marie-Christine
Spending time with your choice of people is an achievement and mark of success. The choices which we make tell about the state of mind in that scenario. Staying in the world which has different type of shades and people, we are given lessons by many and some of them are very unique in nature and human behaviour. Pain lies in all of us and we are the product of pain caused in phases of life. Some of the pain tells us to let live and forget and some makes us what we today. The source of pain varies and sometimes it is stronger than us thus changes the shapes of our surroundings. Listening is great pleasure as well test of temperament. It creates curiosity in mind and sometimes it is at a degree where it can not be ignored. There is no difference between a sober and boozer rather it is difficult to handle a sober man in long run. Revealing the feelings needs big courage as well as acceptance to your own shortcomings. It is repentance or love but the realisation is such a strong that makes us bearable and welcome. It is easy to share feeling with strangers at least they would not preach nor aware about your shortcomings . The right moment in life if chosen never be existed. Every moment is right and waited upon long enough and woven with golden thread. It may be sorrow or happiness, love or hate, joy or anger reaches to us with new meaning to tell. The right moment for these feelings is the moment when we are ready to accept it and my friend that moment never exists…
I hope the man found some peace by talking because sometimes we just need someone to listen to in times like this, however time is the only thing that heals.
Cher Paulo,
‘Do you mean that there is a right moment to suffer for love?’
There is no “right time” to suffer, and love fill you with happiness without warning, or you crushes in Pain in the next second. The pain occurs mainly with the absence. For the poor man, the loss of his wife, for others is the fact that the Other does not meet their expectations. For me it was the time when, one I recognized as my Other piece, although he knew that we were twin souls, refused to continue our friendship. Whatever the person, the intensity of his suffering deserves compassion, and alcohol by having freed inhibitions, enabled him to express his pain.
It is difficult to attend this kind of suffering, and to apply the words that soothe, on this wound. Our shame keeps us often to do so. We are only human suffering in front of the other, and the pain too visible, takes us back to our own, which is hard to bear.
It is through these moments that we build our humanity, every day.
Thank you for your humanity, I hope you enjoy beautiful day.
In French which is my own language:
Il n’y a pas de “bon moment” pour souffrir, et l’Amour vous comble de bonheur sans prévenir, ou vous écrase de Douleur dans la seconde qui suit. La douleur survient surtout avec le manque. Pour ce pauvre homme, la perte de son épouse, pour d’autres, c’est le fait que l’Autre ne répond pas à leur attente. Pour moi, ce fut cette fois où, celui que j’avais reconnu comme mon Autre PARTIE, bien qu’il sache que nous étions des âmes jumelles, refusa de poursuivre notre amitié. Heureusement, beaucoup d’autres amours à partager me furent données. Quelque soit la personne, l’intensité de sa souffrance mérite la compassion, et l’alcool ici ayant permis de libérer les inhibitions, lui a permis d’exprimer sa peine.
Il est difficile d’assister à ce genre de souffrance, et de pouvoir appliquer les mots qui soulagent , sur cette plaie. Notre pudeur nous retient souvent pour le faire. Nous ne sommes que des humains qui souffrent en face, et cette souffrance trop visible nous renvoie à la nôtre, ce qui est difficilement supportable.
C’est à travers tous ces moments que l’on construit son humanité, chaque jour.
Merci pour votre Humanité, je vous souhaite une bonne jounée.
M Christine Grimard
Al fin y al cabo en eso consiste confesarse, no?
Un saludo.
… houve um post anterior seu em que você fala da DISPONIBILIDADE para com o outro. Pensei muito naquela sua indagação. Nem sempre estamos disponíveis e até muitas vezes, justificadamente, mas, quando permitimos que o outro se aproxime com sua dor, ou com sua alegria, ou euforia, ou com seus devaneios e sonhos, ou até com tudo isso junto, nesse momento, não é só o outro que recebe, mas sobretudo, a gente mesmo, por perceber que somos capazes de ir além dos nossos interesses, e que isso é bom e libertador. Doar atenção talvez seja a forma mais refinada de bondade. Talvez também, a que se faz mais rara e urgente.
Seu post de hoje me fez lembrar de uma antiga canção:
“… fica sempre um pouco de perfume, nas mãos que oferecem rosas, nas mãos que sabem ser generosas”.
Aprende-se muito com o outro.
Um beijo
e obrigada!
p.s.
podcast com legenda ficou perfeito!
To love is to suffer.
To avoid suffering one must love.
But then one suffers from not loving.
Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer.
To suffer is to suffer.
To be happy is to love.
To be happy then is to suffer.
But suffering makes one unhappy.
Therefore, to be happy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness.
- Woody Allen
Thanks. This sounds like it came right from my tangled brain.
Que palabras tan lindas del borracho, que si la analizáramos bien tienen un significado muy profundo, acaso hay un momento para sufrir por amor, y así es el amor llega sin avisar en que momento y se va también sin avisarnos, y como todo verdadero amor cuando se va duele. Y que buena razón para estar borracho sino es por AMOR.
This is a wonderful story. To let people suffer there’s never a right moment. The drunk, of course, completely right. What is the right moment? How do you define that? There’s never a right moment. When I die I can not say it is now unfavorable. It is not the right moment. I can not say if I win the lottery. Since probably no one would do it. That’s the beauty of right moments. For love is always the right moment. What makes me especially excited is the honesty of the drunk, actually rather sad when people have to drink in order to express their feelings. But probably not the right moment has come to act sober. This probably explains the many alcoholics. There are many people who endure their suffering without drugs no more, no matter which it is. Sometimes you have to just listen, what is very difficult for most people. Especially for those who have nothing to say.
I wish you all a wonderful evening
Cuando sufrimos por amor sólo queremos estar cerca de alguien que nos escuhe,porque recordar es volver a vivir,eso le paso al borracho sólo queria escuchar y que escucharan su dolor por el amor perdido.cuando sufrimos necesitamos un hombro amigo en quien recostarnos y llorar,el consuelo llega cuando encontramos se hombro amigo o extraño que nos escuche!!
Gracias señor coelho por existir, amo todo lo que escribe porque son reflexiones de vida!!
I hope Mr. Drunk man made it to AA, if even for a few meetings.
Every moment is right to suffer for Love – to rely on the kindness/understanding of others is the Hope which makes Love beautiful and worth it….?!
MMmmm the smell of the light, the taste of bright colours…Life is an Art, a work in progress…yes; a class act – it's also a Stage…one step at a time, after time, and time again I fall in Love with it….or off it…into the orchestra pit – High again, on the spirit of awesome eye food!!
or something like that.
Beautiful is where you look for it
and if you cannot find it…then leave some for next time.
LOVE
Of all your Daily Messages, this by far is my favorite. Sorrow does love company.
Dearest Paulo,
I think the most appropriate quotes for this story would be from the Prophet. I find that there is alot of truth in his words. He says:
For even as love crowns you, so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Love has no desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love, and to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake up at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a praise upon your lips.
I’ve experienced the sadness of parting with someone i love.. I realise that even though life has brought us to this juncture, and even though i may never see him again, i will always love and believe in him. No matter what i do. You do not need to be with someone to love them. And i do and i have suffered from love, but i think that its important to allow yourself to suffer for that period, for only at your lowest point can you raise to your highest. As much as people my drink, just because they are intoxicated does not mean that they are out of their mind. That they don’t feel, that they don’t experience things that are incredible in that state. Its so easy to pass judgement.. “oh, he was drunk..” but people need to realise sometimes you do have to get drunk or do crazy things to find some sort of inner peace. Love is incredible, and to truely love, you should be open to the possible of immense pain. But i tell you, you can go through hell, but one moment of intense love can save you a million times over.
Thank you for being.
Yajna
Much possesiveness, is paraded as love, if it’s love it’s happy to see the other person happy, it’s a great bonus if the other person choses to be happy with me, even otherwise I am happy beceuas teh one I love is happy. being in love is a state of being, when everything appears rosy to me,a nd it shows on my face.
society is necessary, but society’s interfarance shuld be kept at as low as possible.
society is the only thing that has made us think when it is right or wrong to be able to suffer this or that. it is society that make us shame ourselves when we do suffer because we are told by suffering and crying or being sad we are weak
forget society…forget time…
it is your time…whenever it is appropriate for you
i don’t want to suffer because of love. i refuse to… i refuse to fall in love…again. i know this doesn’t have nothing to do with the message, i just know how the drunken man felt. the alcohol made him free, he lost his inhibitions so he was able to talk freely about his sufferings. because our pride doesn’t let us admit that we are heartbroken we refuse to cry and pretend to be strong in front of others. until we reach a moment where we can’t hold it inside of us anymore, and we explode. and then there is peace, even though there is still pain, that only time can cure.
Last evening while sitting in Costa Coffee at University Campus with Orian and Reena, I have realised that being short temper is biggest and worst enemy of life. Love can be ignored for sometime but the anger causes worst loss to life and that may resulted in losing one’s gr8est asset of life. The precious things can be lost and some of the things, while one possesses may deserve better than oneself who owns that, might lost because of anger and short sightness. May be tomorrow one realises the loss occured by this foolishness but that can not be reversed as time slips like the sand. Some times some gets what they do not value nor understand…. so my friend be careful with your worst enemy (ANGER) , it may leave you alone and broken…. The tears which do not slip out of eyes are to be taken care of… Atleast you have some one who cares and weeps silently for you. Do not wear a mask at that time, hold him/her tight, the moment will live forever…. Love will cherish… In the last only Love will live….
bo0om paulo,
a few years ago, on anjuna beach,
i was so blown on shiva, divorce,etc….
one after noon a couple were dining at the next table,
maybe i looked drunk to them;-),
asked if i may join them,
we hav fresh tuna, and talked about south america.
just the lull of waves, the best fish by john,
i distinctly remember of a meuseum where there were just skins of humans on display, she claimed she saw a skin that looks just like me,
she was a great witch, and with her was you know who,
had never read a single paulo then, but later when i started reading him,saw his pic and then remembered him,
that lunch transformed me and i left for the himalayas,
love was everywhere,
lots of love ,
aaH, and kisshes 2,throw in your fill of hugs,;-)-,
bo0om
fLUXman
Pain is blessing in disguise…we wud never realise it at that moment and wonder “why me” :)
But its meant for us specifically for a special purpose…to gain more from what we lost…
Only if we were aware…
Maybe everyone was right… In a sens the lawyer wanted to have a quiet lunch with Paulo.. but sometimes things happened in a way to show something.
Maybe the drunk felt attracted by the conversation and also on the comment of Leaf was saying… kindness… understanding and Love. I’m sure this personn have had a better day for having shared the table of Paulo and his friend…
Thank you
Geeezzz! That was related to my blog entry today. A friend called up about love and suffering and happiness. Time is really important. It may heal wounds or ease some pains but it also lengthens our suffering so to speak. Either way, time is a friend to those who befriend it.
It is sad that we need to be drunk to be able to tell a very natural thing
The drunk was right…
Every moment is right to suffer for Love – to rely on the kindness/understanding of others is the Hope which makes Love beautiful and worth it….?!
MMmmm the smell of the light, the taste of bright colours…Life is an Art, a work in progress…yes; a class act – it’s also a Stage…one step at a time, after time, and time again I fall in Love with it….or off it…into the orchestra pit – High again, on the spirit of awesome eye food!!
or something like that.
Beautiful is where you look for it
and if you cannot find it…then leave some for next time.
LOVE
No, no hay un momento correcto para hablar de lo que se sufre por amor, el borracho tenía razón, el quería hablar de sus heridas y necesitaba que alguien le escuchara.
Bonita escena Paulo, dicen con los borrachos y los niños dicen la verdad.
Un beso.
El borracho tenía razón, no hay un momento correcto para hablar del sufrimiento por amor, el necesitaba hablar y necesitaba alguien
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