PARA ESPANOL CLICAR AQUI: Convención de los heridos de amor
General provisions:
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battlefield, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
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Never trusted enough to love. Want to, but don’t know how.
Never trusted enough to love.
Unconditional love has no conditons it can come and go it will always remain a friendship!
Unless the other person doesn’t want the friendship than it becomes wounded and lost!
To love is to risk not being loved in return
this is exactly what happened to me
how can I make him love me in return ?? if i just know the answer!!!
“How could I be so stupid?” I often asked myself.
I now realize that people have only the power you give to them over you.
Blaming the cheating partner (there are more ways than just one to cheat) calling that person names in front of others is not acceptable to me.
I look in the mirror and ask “is the other person the only one to blame?”
love doesn’t ask why :-((
Love yourself first Asma…live your life and be, invite and know happiness…it will happen.
i have a heart full of unconditional love for someone but he don’t care about me.
I love God and I pray every day that he makes him feel me and care about me.
I have nothing else to do except praying. God is the most powerfull . all hearts is under his control .I’m sure God can make his heart Love me. I knwo that loving someone is not enough to make him love me in return because i have already experienced that. Many loved me strongly but i couldn’t love them in return. maybe this is God’s Justice!! I’ve broke many hearts and now the man I love is breaking my heart! :-(
Please ! all readers!! pray for me that I can reach him and that he love me!
Love is really precious! I’ve read and heard a lot about people suffring from love, but i always saying that they exagerate and i was saying ” if someone don’t love you ,just forget him”. No I experienced that!! Now i know that our heart is stronger than us! and we can’t forget or stop loving someone just by taking that decision, just because our heart is still attached to that person!!!!
:-(
Asma, you have my prayers and positive energy messages to the universe, to our Soul Mother who can make all things be…if we can all show and share our compassion for everyone then everything is possible.
Namaste
you have my best wishes dear….i am to doing same. praying to God,
only he can help us in this difficult time.
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
exactly….
“Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate. “
the saddest thing is that you can’t make someone love you or make him reciprocate the same emotion!
but i still have the hope that one day he will care about me!!
I’m sure that God can offer me this!! God can do miracles!!
don’t laugh at me dear readers but I need this hope to stay alive !!
i am hopping same for me, God can do Miracles.
I think that there are heartbreaks that won’t ever fully heal. I think that the only remedy is to learn to live with that pain inside and try to move on. I personally don’t think I will ever be as naïvely in love with anyone as I was with my ex. I don’t think I’m ready either. I’m just so vulnerable and afraid of allowing the possibility to getting hurt again.
I guess I will open my heart to somebody eventually, but the old wound will still be there…sore…
It’s been a little over 2 years now, since my separation, and I’m still afraid like a little girl.
Back again. The question “why” is still obsesing me but I am sure that the answer will come out one day. I am here waiting… It is just strange that the pain changes to anger in time, the anger of believe in someone…
Still I am ready to open my heart to a new love, I am not sure that he is the right one, but I am willing to give him a try. And when I think that he was right here all the time but I haven’t seen that he was in love with me for years… He confessed, I give him a chance!
We need to be loved and offer love, even if it is for a short period. I feel more confident and happy! I hope you will be too! Kiss
for me love is soul, cant be change and alter. i am so afraid now that i have stop talking, i only talk about my work if necessary, when i need to discuss some assignment.
Wish the sentence, “When you really want something the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” were part of this convention. The words are true. Only time is a healer
Excellent writing! But still hurts. In my oppinion the worst thing in all is not knowing “WHY”. I asked but never got an answer. Will this feeling evere dissapear? I hope so.
hola Rena
It is often said that ‘time’ is the healer, that the pain passes with time. This is partly true; but I have found that looking for, living in and acting-out the ‘positive’ is the force, energy, we need to overcome this feeling.
Because we often – and I have been guilty of this – focus on the ‘negative’, we find it very difficult to rebuild, move on and forgive. It is ourselves we need to forgive first, and love ourselves, because we gave our love and we feel responsible for its loss.
The answer you seek is within you. Meditate, walk, feed yourself well, drink light tea, honey, water and nurture yourself because this is also a physical as well as emotional healing process. Friends, family and sometimes even strangers can bring solace and reason, although often too, logic seems scant comfort and can reinforce the feelings of hopelessness.
Time, yes…but care foryour body and your mind and your heart, and as the memory of heartache diminishes you will find your stronger and more hopeful about every aspect of your life. This, I promise you.
Love yourself, and you will be loved again.
Namaste
Simon
Thank you Simon, heart- touching words! Thank you!
İt will,as soon as you are passion,happy and as soon as u learn smtg out of it..just dont let go things that u ve learned from your mistake or strange feelings for you so that if in case you repeat them youll know how to get out of it..
i never wanted to be in love. (actually i don’t believe there is some thing like love exist. i believe in only one love and that is of my parents.)
We were friends and i asked him to stay as friends, but he didn’t agree (and i don’t want to loose him)
he made me feel what love is, i break my rules for him. but the way he is behaving now a days led me to conclude that love is illusion.
i hate my self for making such mistake. (i hate more myself when i feel i love and care for him more than my life)
he is first n last.
Final determination is so true , when we love , its from both ends , and at any moment we can not blame the other one , how can i blame him , when i was the one to choose him to love and give him all authority … its me responsible for the agony or ecstacy whatever i recieve in return
At those times when we feel such ‘pain’; when it feels like an ice-cold hand has reached inside of us, gripped our very being, twisted it and withdrawn leaving an icy shard that is slow to melt and seems to reach to all our extremeties. In these times we can also feel the intensity of this life and of living.
Time passes…yes…pain diminishes…yes, and after the bitter tears, anger, huge disappointment and fleeting moments of vengeance or confrontation (best avoided) we should also consider that we may have lost a friend; but never those blissful and joyous days and nights.
Truly, there is no life worth living without the trials that bring their rewards.
Namaste
Something changes inside! Only time and good reading like these, will help the healing!
i think your works is awesome..so please do notify me all the new post so i wont skip any of them.. thank you
May be i was not ready 4 love…dat’s wat i kept saying 2 myself to get rid of agony of love..
I absolutely loved this post! It struck just the right chord within me. :) Thank you!
I liked this very much! Thank you. I think it is totally accurate, and that people who are suffering from heart ache finally have a reliable guide. Since there´s so many people that when going through this situations don´t know what to do, how to deal with it, or worst, they deal with it in the most unhealthy ways. (Including myself :s). It is so difficult for me to forgive. I have never been able to master it. Sometimes I even stop trying because it seems so impossible to me.
Being wounded in love is not an experience that you are missing out on! Its not something one would wish upon someone either. Some wounds go too deep and changes you irrevocably for better or worse.
I’m in love for 3 years and is the wound called ”unrequited love”. When I’ve wanted to throw the arrow in the garbage , he gave me hope and I coudn’t give up on my love. I always say ”tomorrow he will love me maybe”. He treats me like a stranger and I love him day by day more and more. That’s why Cupidon dosen’t hit once. I’m afraid to lose him even if I know he’s not mine.
My hope and prayer is that you will see that you have given 3 YEARS! of your precious love and your limited time on this earth to this man. How long will be enough time? Now, my dear, you are suffering. Let him go. Imagine instead one day, being with a man that loves you with equal intensity and commitment. It is what you deserve. Let it go, so that a true and freely given love has room to come into your life.
i am waiting for miracle….bt dont know how to fight with this pain.
L’amour est unechose indéfinissable . Il est à vivre à deuw en étant d’accord sur le programme à suivre mais quand on commence à souffrir, il y a beaucoup de causes : si la personne aimée est malade, cela semble logique .Mais y a til des règles à suivre quand on aime . Si la souffrance dure, c’est du masochisme ou du sado-masochisme mais s’il est accepté par les deux , c’est possible de vivre ainsi . Il n’y pas de méthodes , il suffit de trouver l’équilibre et donner un espace de liberté à l’autre pour se retrouver un peu tout seul . Il est bon d’avoir quelques moments de liberté pour chacun afin de redoner une certaine définition à l’amour que l’on se porte . L’ennui ne doit pas exister , les petites surprises donnent un peu de piment au couple . La souffrance ne doit pas devenir torture sinon il vaut mieux chercher un autre sentier à parcourir tout seul ou avec une autre personne . Il vaut mieux voir le soleil briller dans les yeux de l’être aimé que de voir les larmes de celle ci couler de sesyeux rougis par la souffrance . L’amour est synonyme de complicité et de communication , l’amour doit pporter la félicité et le plaisir en regardant tous les deux dans le même sens afin de patager un bout de chemin ensmble.
Aceite o amor e serás livre, estado divino que paralisa o conflito, o espirito da flecha emana a natureza, o ser humano….Paz e Bem!!
Bjs
Hi Paulo I’ve enjoyed reading this post. I have seriously been wounded by love but by a tragic loss. My one & only true love left this world on Dec 2009 & to this day I grieve for him. These wounds are not healing as quickly as I’d hoped & I miss him dearly. He was an extraordinary man. Very hard to forget! After his death I read your book Brida. It’s a wonderful book- reminded me of our love. Thank you for sharing your talent with the world! Much love… Ellie
. . . I can thus claim that “I have lived”.
Convenção para os feridos por amor(Muito bom)
Doi mais passa como tudo na vida. Coisas da Vida, mas que doi haaaa isso doi!
This is awesome sir.
I would like to say love is most beautiful thing in my life though we are not together, reason still unknown ……. it give me more than what it take from me
I feel lucky to fall in love once even after break up
all in life can be broken down into thoughts and motions – the thoughts most often directing the motions and in consequence seeing the emotions or feelings arise from taking the thoughts and motions in any one direction or another – the simple cure for any wound in love to take the thoughts in a different direction – perhaps a direction of a path that they were on previous to the one when the person fell in love or a direction that the person chooses to go on in the future which will most probably be in a direction different than the one he or she was on once the fall had taken place – these thoughts will cause different motions to be made and change everything including emotions and feelings that arise – :-)
agree with u sir..
Too many articles. The final point is enough for anyone who has loved and lost to understand. Less is more,( more or less….!!!).
Paulo, i feel like u n i are connected… U always seem to post what i need, when i need it. Ur books are like my bible. Thank you so much for sharing your gift w us.
I’ve lived, more than once :)
Convention for those wounded in love: please visit my town. Article No 2 must be put in to practise now.
This is indeed very true..but what to do when you love but lost it due to circumstances……………how to recover from that agony and pain….
In that case, understand the circumstances, why thing didn’t work. See if there is something you can change to make it work. If there’s love from both sides, things can work, it’s just the matter of fixing few things?
Do you still love him? Can you be without him? Can you see him with someone else? Think about it, it might be worth taking chance!
Article 5 is only solution and talk to those who is mature enough to understand what is love. i live this life so well aware of this…
There is no immediate remedy to the suffering. Don’t try to run away from it or it will grow more. It will heal as time passes. Don’t blame anyone, not even the circumstances. Accept the reality. Don’t regret anything. May be it was your destiny. Be happy for the happy moments that love gave you. Be thankful and wish happiness for your partner(in your prayers), if you think your partner is worth it. And (most importantly!) move on… Give life one more chance, love it, live it and smile a lot :-)
He chased after me for months, confided in me for years, romanced me, desired me…. he was the instigator. He gave me the impression he cared, he gave me the impression he loved but he never actually said it was over, he just disappears. He comes and goes and comes back again. This experience has shattered me. I never would have acted this way with someone that loved me. My work situation is great, I got a promotion and a raise and yet I’m not truly happy because I keep thinking about him. He never said angry, nasty things to me, he just left me hanging on. When there is no clear and definite end, no closure the situation is not so easily defined. What I am left with is a deep wound that won’t heal, lots of unanswered questions and the distinct impression of having been duped. I loved and thought I was loved… I guess that wasn’t enough. Four years… I won’t get those back…
The end is when YOU end it, clearly and definitely. Move on. YOU are dragging it on. He’s done.
dear,
i am in similar situation too, in my case person didn’t disappear, his behavior changed. i say him love u he will rply me what are you doing. he used to a very talkative person and now he keep silent. instead of call he only text me now a days. and most of the time rplys are ok, nothing, hmmm.
I have never been wounded in love. I think I´m missing something really important of life…
Right time to mend an undecided, clueless, scattered heart…
it is just in time i saw this when i just had a break up..somehow, this eased a portion of the pain i feel..
thanks to Paulo Coelho, your words have always been of great help since day one..
Well It’s so true Mr. but what about the lover that hurt his/her partner?that does the wrong behavior?that takes the unwanted step ? will he/she be equal to the one who’s suffering in this battle?Is there a winner and a loser?
i am a so called ‘fortune teller’ i happen to love your books and your teachings but take great offence in the fact that you say we all fill people with false hope of an ex returning, i have never given a client false hope like that nor would i ever, infact the advice i will always give is to take time to heal and move forward not back!
Nice i send this to my Love hoping ……………………….can’t get over the thought – this person is worth fighting for
Haven’t Lived? How Idealistic, I Like It Though :)