Convention for those wounded in love

PARA PORTUGUES CLICAR AQUI : Convenção dos feridos por amor
PARA ESPANOL CLICAR AQUI: Convención de los heridos de amor

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battlefield, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

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  1. Brilliant Paulo!!

    I love how you mention “they chose something that is a part of life…”, I find this to be also true for all aspects of life. Once we face all challenges in life, it keeps us strong and with the strength we gain, each new challenge seems easier. It is not that the difficulties we have to face are easier, they just become and seem easier because of the strength we have gained from having gone through them. I have met people who have actually said, “I used to be so strong, I am not anymore, I have become weak…”. With everyone I met who has said this, it is because they avoided having to go through challenges…in other words, following an emotional wound, they stopped dealing with their life challenges (whether it was from a break up or other).

    If you start training, at the beginning you will be in so much pain, every muscle in your body will ache…if you stop, you will never gain strength, as you keep challenging yourself, it will get easier and easier…the exercise did not change, but, you will have gained strength!

  2. estrella says:

    lo mejor de todo es que creo que aunque siempre digamos que no nos va a volver a pasar siempre volvemos a caer en los brazos del amor y siempre esperamos que este sea el bueno , creo que siempre debemos de darnos la oportunidad y disfrutarlo mientras dure para que si un dia se acaba nos quedemos con lo mejor del tiempo que lo disfrutamos

  3. galya says:

    There is a missing article, about those that loved and gave themselves and ended up alone. Those who more than anyone believed in the power of love. Those that believed love will always win. Those who tasted bitterness for first time. About those that have bad Karma and are always dreaming for the big love and will never find it, because they did something wrong long time ago may be and now they are paying. An Article for those that know they will be alone and have to live with it. For those that build an imaginAry towers and hide in them, because their reality is gray. An Article for those that are about to extinct pretty soon because they are unable to adapt to the world of the internet dating and the dying romance and dying manhood.

    1. Wallacer says:

      So hear you.
      This is a missing article. I guess the article that most relates to this state of affairs ‘time’, time to forget and dare to risk loving again. Because staying in an imaginary tower of safety isn’t living, love has a way of finding you out. Annoyingly.

  4. Well says:

    OR is it an attempt of love for those wounded in convention?

  5. Aya says:

    :D Unfortunately to love and leave is individual freedom, that’s why no shackle would restrained.
    Like marriage, if the heart choses to leave, the promises in front of God are forgotten…

  6. Candy De León says:

    Te admiro profundamente.

  7. cheryl field says:

    and so is life…… thankyou Paulo

  8. Alessandro says:

    Thank you Paulo.

  9. Lesego says:

    I love this, especially since I am going through a break up right now… its wonderful

  10. Ruth says:

    Just one thought came into my mind, mayby in past lifes, lots of past lifes we (readers) somehow helped you, by a smile, by shoulder by words of wisdom, and now in this life, Poalo, You are helping us all. All you books are with me when I’m in reverse, Aleph was an answer to my quetions, I felt aleph this summer, I found my love of past life, it seemed that bound between us was made of comittment of ” never forget, never let go and forever to be faightful”, – one woman, seeing past lifes told me so, by then i suddenlly understood, that all my dreams were about it..You know, the signs… However, he was from another country, so we had to be separated dy distance and time. All time from summer I had been suffering, everyday until now, thinking about him, but eventually I’ve met that woman, she helped me to set us free, to cut the bonds, because this is the past, in this life, there are waiting for our other loves, true and the only ones. But now, maybe I’m too young to meet my love life.. my heart is empty, I do not have anyone to love now, but I pray every day..
    Thank You so much, greetings from Lithuania

  11. Jenny says:

    *sigh* beautifully written, its quite funny how in my experience I could never really “forget” my first love, I just wish I knew how he was doing, talk to him like a normal person with love and friendship. Who knows…. if the day will come where I could simply ask him, “How are you?”
    Blessings Paulo!!

  12. Milli says:

    My heart is shattered to peaces and I don’t know how to put it back together.This is just what I needed to hear.

  13. Anna Regina says:

    God bless you dear father… you are always the beautiful light in our lives….
    Wish you all the best things for your life….

    Anna Regina

  14. Priya says:

    To love is to have an endurance and knowledge of pain. I always thought if you loved someone sincerely, its possible to be loved back. When i read through the article, i got to know the truth. Love is either there or not, in my case, it was not. Doesn’t help reduce the pain, however did learn something valuable today. Thanks Paulo for sharing the article. God Bless…

  15. Pipe says:

    “They Chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept BOTH the Agony and the Ecstasy of their choice.” : D

    “One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding…”

    And so I did,..

  16. Guissel Karin says:

    Es mejor amar con todo sus heridas y defectos por decir, que nunca saber que es amar.

  17. Stefy says:

    Paulo you’re so wise! But it’s also wounded who is not strong enough to try to realize if she/he is loved back. And is is a very deep wound!

  18. niharika says:

    superb! HUMOROUS yet EFFECTIVE! couldn’t be crafted any better!

  19. Trishia Gerobiese says:

    Wow. I love it. Thank you! I just had an idea on what and how to write my next writing assignment for our Nonfiction class. Thank you again for this! :)

  20. June Noble says:

    I’ve lived and loved again and again and Now.

  21. Dunya Shamel says:

    Just imagine to how many people out there, you helped with this convention, dear Paulo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
    May God Bless you! Much Love

  22. lucy says:

    What about an article for the person wounded by the arrow who does not throw it out, but does not acknowledge it either?

  23. vuyee says:

    Dis sooo thot-provokin…well sed * I luv it!* thnx Paolo.

  24. GEDION says:


  25. Jay says:

    Dear Paulo Coehlo,

    Everytime i read your articles, i feel that your work doesn’t only touch straight on my heart, but actually they are written sitting inside my heart…

    You are just amazing. Salute to you.

  26. Muy buenas…es una definición de mi vida.

    1. Extra vagancia says:

      aie! que a ventura! :):)

  27. juhi says:

    its jus beautiful
    <3 it

  28. Edmont D. says:

    Thank you,

    Thank you because you always find a way to inspire me and others all around the world. Just like many more souls, mine is broken. I once, very early in my life, decided to give a chance to love; and got heart-broken. I did not give up and I gave another chance to love, and my heart got broken once more. I recently decided to give a last chance in love, yet again… this pain is like no other. This time, I felt I made contact with the true nature of love, not because of whom I made, but of whom I became. I loved not the woman, but the soul. It was the first time I sacrificed myself for her, knowing that I would loose everything.

    I read the Alchemist a long time ago, yet there is a part that cannot go away from my mind… at the end everything happens in threes. And my heart is broken for a third time. The irony is that all three of them were C.

    1. jamz says:

      yup… i understand the feeling… i been through that, been hurt thrice in a row and i felt like giving up and never ever feel the same way again… :(

  29. Shazina says:

    No matter how the beloved behaves the lover is always to love and be faithful with the beloved and sacrifice one self for the sake of love.

  30. Shazina says:

    Even if wounded in love the lover can’t stop loving. Love is like an ocean wide and deep, love is like the sky wide and welcoming, how crazy the love is!

  31. Marie-christine Grimard says:

    Amour, source de Vie et nourriture de l’âme.
    Qui se souvient avoir aimé, se rappelle du tintamarre des battements de son coeur lorsqu’ elle a croisé de regard de l’Autre, se souvient de cette phrase qui a mis le feu à ses joues, et à l’envolée de papillons dans son estomac quand leurs mains se sont rejointes.
    Mais Aimer c’est Donner, donner son âme, sa sève et son sang, mais aussi savoir donner à l’Autre sa Liberté lorsqu’il est plus heureux au loin.

  32. aditya says:

    thank you. it was brilliantly put.

  33. nikamarie says:

    Those wounded in love should continue to have faith in love.

    1. Alex says:

      As Khalil Gibran wrote:

      “Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof “.

  34. safal soni says:

    soul touching :)

  35. Monica says:

    I just loved every word and felt as if my deepest feelings are being exposed. When people say Love Hurts… I know what they are saying. I have been hurt many times but somehow didn’t manage to stop believing in love and i think thats the beauty of love.

    If your love is reciprocated, then there is no other emotion more heavenly and divine than that but if it is not, then there is no other pain more deadlier than that. So actually, we experience both pain and ectasy when in love.

    1. Jay says:

      May God Bless You :)

  36. Aleksi the Great says:

    I would like to share with you something what I wrote. I am not a writer, but the story comes from a heart.

    A young man was walking along the beach… beach was endless… no beginning no end… he was walking this way for ages… maybe centuries too… doesn’t remember when he started the walk, doesn’t know when it will end up… he saw many beautiful sunrises and sunsets… he saw many storms and felt many waves… he saw many faces of the sea, but still he haven’t seen all of them… but he was still walking this coast… one day after strong storm sea has put a lot of grass along the coast… he thought he saw something unusual not far away… when he approached he saw a girl… she lied helpless, almost not showing any signs of life… he took the girl in his arms and put her on dry sand… she was shaking and looked like she has fever… he covered girl with his jacket and then he collected some dry branches and put them on fire… he stayed with girl whole night, giving her water, covering her, looking after her… in the morning when he woke up girl wasn’t there… fire smothered… he turn around and saw girl standing by sea… she approached and gave him some shells she collected beside the sea not far away… ‘thank you’, said man… ‘where are you from?’, he asked, but the girl was silent and she was just looking at him… ‘can you talk?’, but no answer again… ‘oke… I am walking this beach, I don’t know the reason, but it is important for me, I know that… you can join me if you wish’… and he started to walk again. Girl was following him… First days man felt that it was nice to have company, even silent one… It’s not nice to walk alone… and they walked together… girl was silent, but the man was talking about things he saw, about things he did, about things he remembered… and the girl… she was collecting shells and at night she was watching the stars until late while he was talking his stories… One day a thought came to him… ‘I am walking this way cause it is meant so, and this girl… well, she seems nice… but she slows me down… I cant take care of her… I must focus on my way…’ and he told her in polite way ‘well… I think we walked together enough… I think you are oke now and you can continue to walk alone…’ The girl was silent… he continue to walk, but when he turned around, he saw that girl was still walking behind him… ‘Did you understand me? You cant follow me, I cant follow you… go your way… I have to go mine’… Girl was still looking at him, silently… He was annoyed… ‘Go away… I don’t have time nor energy for you!’… he said loudly… Girl was standing… he continued walk… when he turned around he saw her figure in the distance becoming smaller and smaller, and he continue walking… Tomorrow he felt relief… girl wasn’t behind him, he could walk his way without being disturb… next day, he thought how good he did cause he told her not to follow him… ‘ah, now I have time to focus on my journey’… third day, he was turning around from time to time ‘I hope she is not following me, I don’t have time for that’, he thought… Fourth day he felt a bit worried… ‘what if she got lost somewhere?… no, I am sure she will be fine’, but while he walked he was turning back all the time… Fifth day, he decided to seat for a while and rest on a rocks besides the sea… ‘maybe, I can wait a bit, and she will appear in the distance… of course, I don’t miss her, I just want to be sure that she is oke’… Next day, he was still seating on the rocks ‘Where is she? Where is she?’, were his thoughts…
    Fishermen that sometimes sail near this coast say… that sometimes when the wind calms down and weather is clear they can see a man seating on the rocks while waves are crashing into them… sometimes they can even hear him crying and calling someone ‘Where are you? Where are you?’.

    1. Lyl says:

      This is beautiful :)

    2. Aleksi the Great says:

      thank you Lyl :)
      story is fictional, but characters and feelings are real…

    3. LORA says:

      Wonderful! Really wonderful! Thank U a lot!

    4. Alban says:


    5. Dhruv Vyas says:

      Beautiful….. :-)
      Keep writing and follow your soul…. :-)

  37. Sissi says:

    Dear Paulo Coelho;

    I am writting you this letter on my blog because I don’t have your email adress, so I guess will just express myself in this way.
    I’d just like to thank you. My mom lent me ‘The Alchemist’ when I was 8 or 9 years old and even if I think I was too young to understand what it was all about, I was seduced by the words and by Santiago.
    It was the first line of a fabulous love story, the one talking about me and your books.
    When I was 12, I re-read it and some others of your books.
    By the age of 19, you were my favorite author (and still are) and I even tried to make my boyfriend read The alchemist but he just couldn’t..
    I was iniated in a sufi order just before my 20th birthday and when Aleph came out (just before my 21st birthday), I was at a crossroad of my life
    when I was a little (well actually comletely) lost. My boyfriend of almost two months left me out of the blue even if I was fighting really hard to keep us together. While doing this I turned my back to many friends because they were trying to convince me to let it go; but I just couldn’t.. I was so madly in love. Fighting for him made me turn my back to my path and I choose the wrong road at the crossroad. I didn’t know how to turn away so I kept going. I was walking away from my goal and I put my sufis ‘practices’ entre parenthese. I was just hurting too much and I didn’t think there was a way in it for me to get better. And that was my biggest mistake. I realised it when I needed back the things I used to saw or my guardian angel
    whom I talked to really often. I went back to the ‘practices’ but I didnt know if i was doing right or if i would be forgotten.

    And then I opened Aleph, and in the first pages was the sufi prayer.
    And you, whom i always admired were lost, looking for something, wanting more, and i just couldnt believe that you could be struggling as I was. And it helped me in a way I cant even describe. The travel you did then, I am willing to do it now. I need to go on, to reconnect and you helped me, I then understood that I decided to give up for the wrong reasons. And if the way doesn’t just lit up in front of me Its because I chose to make it more difficult. And I am still hurting but I can’t stay back. I have to go on even if it’s so hard
    I need to move on, and to win back what I gave up. And I understood that it wouldn’t be easy but that I am not me without it. And I am gonna fight to get back what I lost. At least some close friends lit up the sacred fire for me so I know that I will never be completely alone. I just need to get back on the right path even tho I don’t really know what it is anymore.But I am willing to habe it back. So just Thank You.

    I know this letter is not perfect and I will probably make more modifications but something told me I needed to post this now.

    Thank you,
    Sissi, just another young broken-heart reader you helped

    1. Juuth says:

      in a way,these words of you,mean to me,what the Aleph pages ment to you…at this point.
      My lesson(s) ;never give up for the wrong reasons!If I choose to take a whatever u-turn,…it is my choice to make..and as living in peace with yourself means your in a state where out of pain you create,not destruct…i am on the right track again for i write,i paint, i share…
      i am twice your age,but crossroads will appear all the time,to challenge us to be suprised..

  38. Leon says:

    I needed this, I’m going through a breakup right now.

  39. Heimo Kruschinski says:

    I read a long time ago already. At that time I already said “yes.” Today I see it the same way. So it should be. Of course, love is a bubbling volcano, very difficult to tame, but let go is a necessity, so you do not destroy yourself, as well as the other. Although, this is probably the same.

    I wish you all a wonderful day

  40. Heidi says:

    Simplemente genial!!!!

  41. A says:

    True story!

  42. Dieter says:

    It’s amazing how often I come here and read exactly what I needed to…

  43. daman says:

    i just love what you write…………it exactly says what we feel………….

  44. LoveM says:

    Where did this lonely pain get born
    From what place was my heart torn
    Why did we separate from our source
    To celebrate our love of course

    I do not wish to cure this loving you
    My only desire is to love you more…
    To feel more of that divine affection
    And gratefully convey it back to you

    No matter how much love you give
    You will not diminish this resource
    You experience as much as you give
    To give love… is to feel love… is to be love

    When you look for love in less and less – somebody
    You will find less love
    When you look for love in more and more – everybody
    You will find much more

    Loving you irrationally, without condition
    Or reason, there can be no reason
    For this incredible pleasure
    And unending longing

    When I love
    Then I am love
    Getting what I am
    Giving what I’ve got

    1. Vishnu says:


  45. Lyl says:

    “Don’t compare your life to others.You have no idea about their sufferings.”Paulo Coelho

  46. Lyl says:

    “No one else is in charge of your happiness.You are.” Paulo Coelho

  47. Completely_lost says:

    I started this article with a smile on my face at its irony…only to watch a few minutes later, my current relationship dissolve into a complete onslaught of accusations about my inadequacy, lack of caring and attention to my partner, and how I never speak to anyone…I won’t even tie up your time with the details. Finally in my life after many failed relationships, I thought I had found where I was meant to be…that obviously is no longer the case…funny that the article never mentions what to do when you become completely lost with no friends or family to turn to, and religion is not the answer either. A solemn path to nowhere that can barey be seen…a clutch in your stomach that prevents eating…a loss of hope and confidence…it is much easier just to wish to get lost even further and never found.

    1. mamito jr says:

      Hi. I am glad you were led to this article. This article and an article on this blog called Closing Cycles (please use the search engine to find) have fed my spirit through a very lonely and sad season in my life. I have felt hopeless and helpless in my breakup and subsequent path to healing. I am slowly learning to have compassion for myself and open myself to love. Love for myself, love for the beauty in the world around me, love for others. I am so sorry that you feel so lost. I understand completely. Please know that you are loved. I know you feel alone now with no family and friends. Love will open up to you in the form that you need, when you need it. Easy is not the always the best. This current relationship is not supportive of your beauty. You deserve the best.

    2. emily says:

      I just feel the same …lost…and I want to run somewhere at least for a while..but i don’t know where|!

    3. LoveM says:

      Home’s where the heart is
      Staying in touch with your heart
      You’re always at home

      Looking for comfort
      From where it can’t be given
      And cannot be felt

      In your heart is the only place to be
      Dear Emily <3

    4. LoveM says:

      My Dear One
      There is only this relationship with yourself which is everything and everyone… Love and value yourself… then let that love overflow to everyone else.
      That is the Oneness
      Bless you DearOne

      Middle of nowhere
      Holding my heart in my hand
      Reaching out for You

      Just get comfortable
      Being nowhere and no one
      The nothing you are

      My remembering
      When it all comes together…(apart)
      I am my one love

      I pray you take heart
      It is the only handhold
      In the Enormity

  48. vijayan raman says:

    love is love not a pain rejection of love is a pain