Tag Archive for 'fear'

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In the wheel of time

Published on May 28, 2008 in Warrior of Light. 5 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

I had proposed to publish here, once a year, texts by Carlos Castañeda, an anthropologist who influenced my generation with his tales of meetings with Mexican sorcerers.  For lack of space, I have not done so since 2004.  Today I woke up thinking: Castañeda, despite all his critics and all his work that later on seemed so disorderly to me, should not be forgotten.  So here we present some of his reflections.

Intention is the important thing: for the old sorcerers of Mexico, intention (intento) is a force that intervenes in all aspects of time and space.  To be able to use and manipulate this force calls for impeccable behavior.  A warrior’s final goal is to be able to lift his head above the rut where he is confined, look around him, and change what he wants.  To do so he needs to have discipline and pay attention all the time.

Nothing is easy: nothing in this world is given as a present: everything has to be learned with a great deal of effort.  A man who seeks knowledge must have the same behavior as a soldier going to war: absolutely attentive, afraid, respectful and utterly confident.  If he follows these recommendations, he may lose the odd battle but he will never cry over his fate.

Fear is natural: fear of the freedom that knowledge brings us is absolutely natural; however, no matter how terrible the apprenticeship may be, it is worse to live without wisdom.

Irritation is unnecessary: becoming irritated with others means giving them the power to interfere in our lives.  It is imperative to overcome this feeling.  By no means should the acts of others distract us from our only alternative in life: coming in touch with the infinite.

The end is an ally: when things begin to get confused, a warrior thinks about his death and immediately his spirit returns to him.  Death is everywhere.  Think of the headlights of a car following us along a winding road; sometimes we lose sight of it, sometimes it appears to be too close, sometimes the headlights go out.  But this imaginary car never stops (and one day catches up with us).  The very idea of death gives men the necessary detachment to go ahead despite all their tribulations.  A man who knows that death is approaching every day tries everything, but without feeling anxiety.

The present is unique: a warrior knows how to wait, because he knows what he is waiting for.  And while he waits, he wants nothing, and in this way anything he receives – however small – is a blessing.  The common man worries too much about loving others, or being loved by them.  A warrior knows what he wants – that is all in his life and that is where he concentrates all his energy.  The common man spends the present acting as winner or loser, and depending on the results he becomes persecutor or victim.  The warrior, on the other hand, worries only about his acts, which will lead him to the objective he has traced for himself.

Intention is transparent: intention (intento) is not a thought, nor an object, nor a desire.  It is what makes a man triumph in his objectives and lifts him up from the ground even when he has delivered himself up to defeat.  Intention is stronger than man.

It is always the last battle: the warrior’s spirit does not complain about anything, because he was not born to win or lose.  He was born to fight, and each battle is the last that he is waging on the face of the Earth.  That is why the warrior always leaves his spirit free, and when he gives himself to combat, knowing that his intention is transparent, he laughs and enjoys himself.

Conversation with the master – The personal legend

Published on May 5, 2008 in Stories. 19 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

By Paulo Coelho

(Here I continue to reproduce excerpts from talks with my master, from 1982 to 1990)

- What is the Personal Legend?

- It is your blessing, the path God has chosen for you here on Earth. Whenever a man does that which gives him enthusiasm, he is following his Legend. However, not everyone has the courage to face up to his own dreams.

- Why is that?

- There are four obstacles. The first: he has heard, right from childhood, that everything he wishes to live is impossible. He grows up with this idea, and as he acquires age, he also accumulates layers of prejudices, fears, guilt. There comes a time when his Personal Legend is so deeply buried within his soul, he can no longer see it. But it is still there.

“If he has the courage to unearth his dreams, he then faces a second obstacle: love. He now knows what he desires to do, but he thinks he will harm those around him, if he gives everything up to follow his dreams. He does not understand that love is an additional impulse, not something which hinders one from going forward. He does not understand that those who truly wish him well are longing for his happiness, and are ready to accompany him on this adventure.

“After accepting love as a stimulus, a man faces the third obstacle: the fear of the defeats he will encounter along the way. A man who fights for his dream suffers far more when something doesn’t go well, because he cannot use the famous excuse: “oh, well in fact that wasn’t exactly what I wanted anyway…” He does want it, and knows he is putting everything into it, and also that the Personal Legend is just as difficult as any other path – the difference being that your heart is present on this journey. So, a warrior of the light must be prepared to be patient at difficult times, and know that the Universe is conspiring in his favor, even if he does not understand how.

- Are the defeats necessary?

- Whether necessary or not, they occur. When he begins fighting for his dreams, man has no experience, and makes many mistakes. But the secret in life is to fall seven times, and rise up eight times.

- Why is it important to live the Personal Legend, if we are to suffer just as much as others?

- Because after having overcome the defeats – and we always overcome them – we feel much more euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know we are worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the Good Combat. We begin to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Very intense and unexpected suffering begins passing faster than apparently tolerable suffering: that drags on for years, eroding our soul without us noticing what is happening – until one day we can no longer free ourselves of the bitterness, and it accompanies us for the rest of our lives.

- And what is the fourth obstacle?

- After unearthing your dream, using the power of love for support, spending many years with the scars, a man realizes – from one day to the next – that everything he always wanted is right there, waiting for him, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream he has fought for all his life.

- That makes no sense.

- Oscar Wilde said that we always destroy the thing we love the most. And it is true. The simple possibility of achieving that which we desire causes the soul of the common man to be filled with guilt. He looks around, and sees many others who have not succeeded, and so he thinks he does not deserve it. He forgets everything he overcame, all he suffered, everything he had to renounce in order to come this far. I know many people who, when they are within reach of their Personal Legend, make a series of silly mistakes and do not attain their objective – when it was just one step away.

“This is the most dangerous of the obstacles, because it has a certain aura of sanctity about it: to renounce to joy and the conquest. But if the man is worthy of that which he has fought so hard for, he then becomes an instrument of God, aids the Soul of the World, and understands why he is there”.

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Fragments of a non-existent diary – II

Published on April 28, 2008 in Stories. 9 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

San Francisco, United States

I walk through a park with my American editor, John Loudon, and his wife, Sharon. We can see the city of San Francisco in the distance, illuminated by the setting sun. Sharon wrote a book about a Benedictine monastery, and tells us that the afternoon prayers, called vespers, are songs of faith in the certainty that the night will pass.

- The vespers indicate the necessity we have to be near others at nightfall – she says. – But our society has forgotten the importance of this nearness, and pretends to greatly prize each person’s ability to deal with his own difficulties. We no longer pray together; we hide our solitude as if we were afraid to admit it exists.

Sharon pauses, before adding:

- I was like that once. Until one day I lost my fear of depending on my neighbor, because I discovered that he too needed me.

Limoges, France

A apprentice in occultism I know, hoping to impress his master, read some handbooks about magic and decided to buy the material indicated in its pages.

With great difficulty, he managed to find a certain type of incense, a few talismans, a wooden structure with sacred letters written in a certain order. Upon seeing this, the master said:

- Do you think that by rolling some computer wires around your neck, you will acquire all the machine’s knowledge? Do you believe that, by purchasing sophisticated hats and clothes, you will also acquire the good taste and sophistication of those who made them? Learn to use objects as allies, not as guides.

Kawaguchiko, Japan

I met the painter Miie Tamaki during a seminar about Feminine Energy. I asked about her religion.

- I no longer have a religion – she replied.

Noting my surprise, she explained:

- I was educated as a Buddhist. The monks taught me that the spiritual path is a constant renunciation: we must overcome our envy, our hatred, all anxieties of faith, our desires.

“I managed to free myself of all of that, until one day my heart became empty: the sins had left, and taken my human nature along with them.

“To begin with I was pleased, but I noticed that I no longer shared the joys and passions of those around me. That was when I abandoned religion: today I have my conflicts, my moments of anger and despair, but I know that I am once again close to mankind – and consequently close to God”.

Lourdes, France

When I was on the road to Rome, one of the four sacred ways of my magic tradition, I realized – after nearly twenty days of being practically alone – that I was far worse than when I set out. With the solitude, I began to have niggardly, bitter, ignoble feelings.

I sought out my guide, and told her. I said that, at the outset of the pilgrimage, I thought I would come closer to God: however, after three weeks, I was feeling much worse.

- You are better, do not worry – she said. – In fact, when we light up our inner light, the first things we see are the cobwebs and dust, our weak points. They were there all the time, only you saw nothing in the darkness. Now it will be easier to cleanse your soul.