30 SEC READ: Trees and towns

By Paulo Coelho

In the Mojave desert, one often comes across those famous ghost towns that were built around the gold mines. They were abandoned when all the gold had been mined out. They had served their purpose and there was no reason for anyone to go on living there.

When we walk through a forest, we see trees which, once they have served their purpose, have fallen. However, unlike ghost towns, their fall has opened up space for light to penetrate, they have enriched the soil and their trunks are covered in new vegetation.

Our old age will depend on the way we have lived. We can either end up like a ghost town or like a generous tree, which continues to be important even after its fall.

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Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday

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Oprah & Paulo - What if the Universe conspired in your favor podcast part 1

The three editions of Tao Te King

A Japanese legend tells of a certain monk who was so enraptured by the beauty of the Chinese book “Tao Te King” that he decided to raise money to have those verses translated and published into his language. It took him ten years to raise enough funds.

However, a pest swept through the country and the monk decided to use the money to relieve the suffering of the sick. But as soon as the situation became normal, once more he started to gather the amount necessary to publish the Tao.

Another ten years passed by, and when at last he was ready to print the book a seaquake left hundreds of people homeless.

Once more the monk spent all the money on rebuilding the houses of those who had lost everything. Another ten years passed by, he gathered the money again and finally the people of Japan were able to read the “Tao Te King.”

The wise men say that this monk actually made three editions of the Tao: two are invisible and one is in print.
He kept his faith in his objective without ever failing to care for his neighbour.

Your love should never be offered…(Hafez)

EN ESPANOL: Su amor nunca se les debe ofrecer

by Hafez

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Oprah and Paulo Coelho

 
spiritual practices
Photo: George Burns
The author of one of the most popular books in this or any language, Paulo Coelho has lived the mythic journey of self-discovery he fictionalized in The Alchemist, one of Oprah’s favorite spiritual guides. Now he opens up about dreams, destiny and the only thing he believes will ever make us happy.

Believe it or not, it was Madonna who first introduced me to The Alchemist, in 1996. She told me during a taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show that it was her favorite book—really, she went on and on about it. I thought, “Well, I’ve got to read the book that changed Madonna’s life.” So I did, and I’ve been dying to interview its author, Paulo Coelho, ever since.

The Alchemist is the story of a young Andalusian shepherd who, after dreaming about finding a treasure in the pyramids of Egypt, sells off his flock and embarks on a journey of courage and intuition that is a stand-in for all our journeys. The book touched me so deeply that I ended up passing it on to everyone I know, and then everyone I know passed it along to everyone they know. It’s the kind of book you want to share with the whole world. And that’s why it’s sold more than 65 million copies since it was first published in 1988 and has been translated into more than 80 languages.

Though he doesn’t consider himself a spiritual guide, Paulo Coelho has been one of my great teachers. I still keep The Alchemist beside my bed and am always meeting others who do the same. (Recently, Pharrell Williams told me that it’s one of his favorite books, too.) Just after the 25th anniversary of its publication, I was honored to finally sit down with the Brazilian-born Coelho at his home in Geneva (the best word for that city is civilized, by the way—I didn’t see even a speck of litter on the streets!). He welcomed me with roses, pink Champagne, and a spread of food prepared by his beloved wife, Christina Oiticica, an artist. Then we got to talking, and I was delighted to learn that the passion and conviction that led him to write this truly inspired book still guide his life today.

OPRAH: Oh, I’m so happy to be here.

PAULO: Thank you very much for coming. My God.

OPRAH: “My God” is right. I’m here with the man who wrote The Alchemist!

PAULO: But I’m not a guru.

OPRAH: I know—you’re not a guru.

PAULO: No, no, no, no, no.

OPRAH: You’re just an author and a teacher and a…

PAULO: An ultimate student.

OPRAH: Absolutely. So last year marked the 25th anniversary of The Alchemist. And it is truly a phenomenon. I was trying earlier today to describe it to someone—and the word I used was talisman. It has really become a talisman for a lot of people. It doesn’t matter how many times I read it; I always get something else from it. Does that happen to you? Have you reread it?

PAULO: Many times. And I often have a sense of amazement: How did I write this book? Because I was not the best writer. I’m still not the best writer.

OPRAH: Is it true that you wrote it in two weeks?

PAULO: Yes. And then I wrote the title. And then I wrote the first two pages. The first sentence is “The boy’s name was Santiago.”

OPRAH: Right.

PAULO: Because I was fascinated by Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea. The main character in that book is also named Santiago.

OPRAH: I wondered if you had named him after the trail in Spain, El Camino de Santiago, which you wrote about in your book The Pilgrimage.

PAULO: No, it was because of Hemingway.

OPRAH: And The Alchemist was not an instant best-seller.

PAULO: That’s right. Not long after it came out, my publisher said, “It’s not selling.” And I said, “Give it some time,” and they said, “No, no, no. This book is never going to work.” But there is a sentence in the book that says, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

OPRAH: Yes.

PAULO: And I thought, “I wrote this. I have to live by these words.”

OPRAH: Wow.

the alchemist
 

The 25th anniversary edition cover of The Alchemist. Originally written in Portuguese, it has now been translated into more than 80 languages.

PAULO: So I started knocking on doors. And Oprah, believe me when I tell you that the first door I knocked on—it was a very important publishing house in Brazil—a man opened and I said, “I have a book. It’s not the manuscript of a genius, but I trust that it is going to sell.” And the guy said, “Okay, I’m going to publish it.” Three years later, when the book had sold half a million copies in Brazil, I asked him why he’d republished a book that had already flopped once. And he said, “I don’t know.”

OPRAH: That sounds unbelievable. Like fate.

PAULO: Absolutely. Which I believe in—destiny.

OPRAH: You know, the scholar Joseph Campbell writes about the hero’s journey: The adventurer leaves home, overcomes obstacles, achieves great things, then returns home to share his newfound wisdom. And that’s Santiago’s tale, too.

PAULO: Yeah.

OPRAH: Why do you think human beings respond so deeply to the hero’s journey?

PAULO: Because everybody wants to undertake it. However, people don’t.

OPRAH: Because they’re afraid.

PAULO: They are.

OPRAH: In the beginning of the book, when Santiago’s father is trying to convince him not to go, the boy can sense that his father wishes he had gone. You write, “He gave the boy his blessing. The boy could see in his father’s gaze a desire to be able, himself, to travel the world —a desire that was still alive, despite his father’s having had to bury it, over dozens of years, under the burden of struggling for water to drink, food to eat…” Most people get hung up on the burden and lose the dream.

PAULO: But there is always an inner child who says, “Hey, do you remember that dream?”

OPRAH: And real courage is being able to step out and live that dream. That’s really the only courage you ever need.

PAULO: Yes. I have many fears, Oprah, but I’m still trying to honor my dream, which was to be a writer. When you write books, you meet challenges. I saw so many writers paralyzed by failure, but also by success. They wrote one successful book, and then they stopped writing. I continue to write because I’m enthusiastic about my work.

OPRAH: You just published your 31st book, Adultery.

PAULO: You know, I don’t even count!

OPRAH: So you never had that fear that you wouldn’t be able to repeat the phenomenon of The Alchemist?

PAULO: No, no. The Alchemist only happens once in a lifetime. I’ve had books that didn’t sell. But I continue to write.

OPRAH: So is your dream—your dream to be a writer—is that the same thing as what you refer to in The Alchemist as a Personal Legend?

PAULO: A Personal Legend is the reason you are here. It’s as simple as that. You can fill your hours and days with things that are meaningless. But you know you have a reason to be here. It is the only thing that gives you enthusiasm.

OPRAH: I call it your personal calling.

PAULO: Yes. And you know that when you lack enthusiasm, you are betraying your Personal Legend.

OPRAH: And you believe we all have one.

Photo: Courtesy of Paulo Coelho

A self- described “hippie” in 1971, at the Grand Canyon.

PAULO: I’m 100 percent convinced. Which is totally different from believing that every person is going to fulfill his or her Personal Legend. But I do believe that we know our reason to be here. We don’t know if we are taking the exact right steps toward it. But if you are honest enough, God will guide you. Even if you take some wrong steps along the way, God will recognize that you have a pure heart and put you back on track.

OPRAH: The universe will rise up to meet you.

PAULO: Yes.

OPRAH: So early on in The Alchemist, Santiago is told of the world’s greatest lie. What is that?

PAULO: That you don’t control your life—that there is a system, an establishment, that doesn’t allow you to control anything. You buy into the world’s greatest lie the moment you agree to obey rules that are not your rules. When you say, “I have to.” So many people say, in that moment, “Am I going to be different? Am I going to make people upset? No.” I’ll tell you my experience. When I decided to be a writer, my parents tried everything to dissuade me.

OPRAH: What did they want you to be?

PAULO: An engineer. They tried to bribe me. Then they cut off all the money they gave me to buy, I don’t know, soft drinks. Then they tried a psychiatrist. Then they lost hope and said, “This guy is crazy. We love him, but he’s crazy.” And they put me in a mental institution.

OPRAH: They put you in a mental institution because you wanted to be a writer?

PAULO: Because I wanted to be an artist. Artists, you know, they starve to death. They are homosexuals. They drink.

OPRAH: Wow, so they put you in a mental institution.

PAULO: Three times, actually, because I escaped! But Oprah, let me tell you, they didn’t do it out of hatred. They were trying to help me. They really thought I was crazy. Brazil was a very regressive society. We lived under a military dictatorship. They were scared about everything. And here I was, telling them I was not going to university.

OPRAH: So what did you learn about yourself while you were in the mental institution?

PAULO: Well, it was very liberating. I realized that I’m crazy, so I can do anything I want! And if something bad happens, I can say, “Sorry, I was just in a mental institution. Forgive me.” So when I escaped, I became a hippie.

OPRAH: Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll?

PAULO: Yes, and traveling. That was my first contact with your country. I flew to New York and then traveled to San Francisco with $200 in my pocket and no English. Because you had these two institutions—I don’t know if you still have them—the YMCA and Greyhound bus.

OPRAH: Yes. [Laughs]

PAULO: I would ask the man at the bus station for a ticket to someplace eight hours away, because I needed to sleep.

OPRAH: Oh my goodness. So was it during this time that you actually became a writer?

PAULO: I had determined to write, but at that time, it was still impossible. My parents had said that, and for the moment they were right. So I started writing songs. I became a songwriter. And I started making a lot of money. And then my parents relaxed because I could be crazy and still make money.

 
Photo: Marcello Mendonça

Coelho and his wife, Christina, in Venice, 2012.

OPRAH: So let me get this straight. Was your journey across America part of your journey to discover your Personal Legend?

PAULO: One of them. My Personal Legend was to be a writer. And I started to be freer from that moment on. In 1982, I was already married to Christina, and I had a good job. But I was not happy. It was the enthusiasm thing. So I said, “Christina, we have everything that people dream of except joy. At least, I don’t have joy.” We had a few apartments and $17,000. So I said, “Let’s take the $17,000 and try to find the meaning of life. With that much money, we can travel for two years.”

OPRAH: Because you believed that our only obligation is to honor our Personal Legend.

PAULO: Absolutely. So we set out to travel. It was during that time—I was 39 years old—that I decided I had a dream I could no longer live without fulfilling. It was killing me. So I quit everything to write full-time. I had been worried about hurting my wife and my parents. But I realized that they wanted to see me happy.

OPRAH: And you published The Alchemist in 1988.

PAULO: Yes.

OPRAH: But you know what? I think not everyone knows what their Personal Legend—their purpose, their calling—really is. People are always saying to me, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life.”

PAULO: They know. It’s very difficult, Oprah, to accept that you know what you’re supposed to do when you are not doing it. Because from the moment that you know, you have to either leave a lot of things behind or live aware that you are not fully treasuring the miracle of being alive.

OPRAH: Like the merchant who didn’t go to Mecca in The Alchemist. Who always wanted to go, but kept postponing, and finally realized he was never going to go.

PAULO: Yes. In my life, I think I learned this.

OPRAH: So the reason that many people never pursue their Personal Legend is because of their fear of failure. I love this quote from The Alchemist: “‘Don’t give in to your fears,’ said the alchemist, in a strangely gentle voice. ‘If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.'”

PAULO: Every heart is fearful. A heart is like a flower, you know? It can be very brave, but it can be easily hurt.

OPRAH: Mmm-hmm.

PAULO: I’ve been defeated many times. And I fear a lot of things still. But the point is not to give up.

OPRAH: All right. So when you were younger, you wrote this in your diary: “Every day it seems harder to achieve my great ideal: to be famous and respected, to be the man who wrote the Book of the Century, the Thought of the Millennium, the History of Humanity.”

PAULO: [Laughs] Well, I was always a little bit megalomaniac!

OPRAH: Oh, my gosh. First of all, who writes that about himself?

PAULO: Someone who needs to go to a mental institution!

OPRAH: [Laughs] Did you know then that the universe would rise up and conspire to help you? That you really would publish the book of the century?

PAULO: Probably not. But I wasn’t the only young person who writes things like this. If you think small, then your world will be small. If you think big, your world will be big. Having said that, a self-fulfilled prophecy like that is quite difficult to explain.

OPRAH: I can’t get over it!

PAULO: But Oprah, you want to know: Did I write The Alchemist? I’m not sure. I am sure that I was a good instrument. That I went through all these experiences—crazed, outcast—and then wrote a book that is, let’s be honest, much better than I am. So you follow your heart, and then one day you manifest something. This is the real alchemy.

OPRAH: Yeah.

PAULO: And everybody has this possibility.

OPRAH: Wow.

PAULO: For years I wasn’t so crystal sharp—to use a metaphor from The Alchemist. I had a dream, but had not yet dared to fulfill it. But then you start paying attention, and there is a symbol here, and one there, and if you put the puzzle together, you will understand.

OPRAH: The alchemist teaches Santiago, “Listen to your heart. It knows all things…”

[Thunder claps loudly in the background; a storm is moving in.]

PAULO: This is a moment. It’s a sign. Don’t cut it from the interview!

OPRAH: [Laughs] We won’t! God must have liked that quote. Okay. So the alchemist teaches Santiago that the heart “knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there.”

PAULO: Yes.

OPRAH: But as Santiago searches for his Personal Legend, he also meets forces beyond his control. I love how you write that when he’s out in the middle of the desert, he has to go around dunes and avoid obstacles and tribes who are at war. But as long as he gets back on course, he will end up in the right place. Our lives are like that, too.

PAULO: Absolutely.

Photo: Eric Robert/VIP Production/Corbis

The author practices archery, which is for him a form of meditation.

OPRAH: There are obstacles that take us out of the way. But as long as you know where you are going and what you want…

PAULO: Right.

OPRAH: So let me ask you this. Was Santiago in control of his destiny?

PAULO: More or less.

OPRAH: [Laughs]

PAULO: You need to…well, at certain moments you need to have discipline, and in others you need to just be guided by life.

OPRAH: By paying attention. To the signs.

PAULO: You have to balance your willpower with the capacity to relax and enjoy and go with the flow.

OPRAH: That is so important.

PAULO: There is a Zen proverb that says, basically, if you want something, step aside and let this thing come to you.

OPRAH: So we need willpower and enthusiasm, but then we need to surrender.

PAULO: Absolutely.

OPRAH: In the book, you write, “Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream.” You write that when the real tests come, “that’s the point at which most people give up.”

PAULO: It is. When they’re so close. When that man told me The Alchemist wasn’t going to sell, for example. Wow. Now that I’ve decided to be a writer, burned all my bridges, and walked 500 miles from France to Spain on the Camino de Santiago, you are telling me that this book is not good? I could have easily said, in that moment, “He’s right. Let me write another book.”

OPRAH: So when is a no really a no? Because sometimes, a no is a no.

PAULO: It depends. [Laughs]

OPRAH: Maybe if you’re listening to your heart, it’s never really a no. Or, at least, it’s a good no—one that will send you in the direction you’re meant to be moving.

PAULO: Absolutely. Can I tell you a very personal story, Oprah?

OPRAH: Of course.

PAULO: About three years ago, I had heart surgery. I had gone in for a simple stress test and my doctors told me suddenly that I would die in 30 days without intervention.

OPRAH: Whoa.

PAULO: But I went home and was very relaxed. I thought, “I’m going in for heart surgery. I may die tomorrow. But then I realized that if I die tomorrow, I’ve spent more than half my life with the woman I love. How many people on this planet can say that? She’s my fourth marriage, but we’ve spent 35 years together. And I tell her “I love you” every day. The second thing I thought is, I did everything. I was crazy. I went to extremes. So I have nothing to regret, because I did everything.

OPRAH: You were a hippie on a Greyhound bus.

PAULO: Yes. And the third thing I realized is that I fought for my dream. I did not take no for an answer. I wanted to be a writer, and I wrote. So I thought, If I die tomorrow, it’s all okay.

OPRAH: Wow.

PAULO: That was November 30, 2011. I know that I will die eventually. And when I do, I want to die with the same sensation I had that night. Knowing that I fought the good fight and did not lose my faith.

OPRAH: That’s a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. And thank you for inviting me to your home.

PAULO: Oprah Winfrey, thank you for coming. May God bless you.

 

Remember: every cloud has a silver lining

I remember when I was 17 years old, I was full of reflection on my identity. The world turns around how to realize myself. And the 20 years that followed, I gradually lost this reflection in the usual occupation. Study for a job, family, kids, money… It might sound strange, but I now find that this period of “grown-up” is the least interesting of my life. Today, at 37, I had the impression that I return to that point of departure 20 years ago. Starting to search again my personal legend. Do you relate to this?

Your Personal Legend “is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.” (The AlchemistPaulo Coelho)

Grown-up, we might lose our ability to know our Personal Legend. On Christmas Eve this year, give a little time for it. How to find back our dreams, motivations, and the person we are destined to be? Here below are three thoughts to sleep with tonight.

First step: Sell your sheep

If you lack passion, feel bored out, burned-out today, probably your inner being is calling you to your Personal Legend. To realize bigger things. To be your true self with its potentials. But how to do it?

When called to his personal legend, the first act of the Alchemist was to sell his sheep to start a journey to Egypt in search of his treasure.

“Selling one’s sheep” has never been an easy task! Think about leaving behind all your comfort, the “certain”, the “good” things, to pursue something you don’t even know where it leads to! Yes, I am sure your parents, your friends, your partner might tell you that you are crazy! Don’t worry, you’re not alone!

When we lack passion, bored-out, burned-out, it is clear that we need a change. But how many of us have never had the courage to sell our sheep. We remain sometimes a lifetime in the same place.

Thich Nhat Hanh advises us to “call our cows by their true names”. Our cows, he means, are our ideas of happiness. Good job, good house, stable salary… are the cows that we might not even know. “Call our cows by their true names”, and let go of our ideas of happiness is the way to it.

Second step: Ready to lose!

I don’t want to discourage you, but yes, after selling the sheep, be ready to lose the money you got from selling them! That is, ready for the challenges and difficulties you will encounter on this journey. How many times, on the road to his or her own “treasure”, one might doubt that it was a wrong decision? Santiago, the Alchemist, right after selling his sheep to go to Egypt, got betrayed by someone he trusted. He was robbed the whole money left and found himself in a foreign land with blank hands.

When I decided to go beyond my pharmaceutical job and restart a career to my true self, how many times I doubted myself. Doing something you don’t know, getting rejected, sometimes finding everything rather hopeless. Paulo Coelho got rejected for “The Alchemist” after a year it was published. Or Stephen King had 60 rejections before his first short story “The Glass Floor” was accepted for $35! Most successful people will tell us to be ready for the challenges and difficulties to happen, and not giving up.

So, on New Year’s Eve, you and I can support each other to cross a bridge when we come to it! There is an old proverb saying “If at first, you don’t succeed try, try again”. Man who knows how to arrive, after all, will meet his personal legend.

Third step: Remember every cloud has a silver lining

Yes, remember there is always something good in every problem. Burned out, bored-out, no passion? There is a good reason behind this happening to you. Throughout his journey, each time the Alchemist had a bad thing happened to him, he was set up for a better thing to happen.

The story of “The Alchemist” is a never-ending inspiration for anyone in search of his or her own Personal Legend. The ultimate proof of the Alchemist was when he crossed a warring tribe. To save his life, he was forced to show his oneness with the soul of the world. He spent hours in silence, listening to the dessert, and transformed himself into the wind. Paulo Coelho told us, “When you really want something, the whole universe conspires for you to achieve it”. And I truly believe so for my own journey.

So if you lack passion, feel bored out, burned-out today, probably your inner being is calling you to your Personal Legend. To realize bigger things. To be your true self with its potentials. Listen to this voice. “Selling your sheep” might be the first thing you encounter to start a journey to find your treasure.

No dia em que Deus criou as mães

IN ENGLISH HERE: Character of the week: the Mother
_____________________________________________
por Erma Bombeck

No dia em que Deus criou as mães (e já vinha virando dia e noite há seis dias), um anjo apareceu-lhe e disse:
– O que   está lhe deixando  inquieto Senhor?

E o Senhor Deus respondeu-lhe:
– Você já leu as especificaçOes desta encomenda?
1] Ela tem que ser totalmente lavável, mas não pode ser de plástico.
2] Deve ter 180 partes móveis e substituí­veis, funcionar à  base de café e sobras de comida.
3] Ter um colo macio que sirva de travesseiro.
4] Um beijo que tenha o dom de curar qualquer coisa, desde um ferimento até as dores de uma paixão,
5] e ainda ter seis pares de mãos para dar conta de todas as tarefas.

– Seis pares de mãos Senhor? – Parece impossí­vel !

-E o anjo comenta:
– Senhor…já é hora de dormir. Amanhã é outro dia.

Mas o Senhor Deus explicou-lhe:
– Não posso, já está quase pronta. Já tenho um modelo que se cura sozinho quando adoece, que consegue alimentar uma famí­lia de seis pessoas com meio quilo de carne moí­da e consegue convencer uma criança de 9 anos a tomar banho…

O anjo rodeou vagarosamente o modelo e falou:
– É muito delicada Senhor!
Mas o Senhor Deus disse entusiasmado:
– Mas é muito resistente! Você não imagina o que esta pessoa pode fazer ou suportar!

O anjo, analisando melhor, observa:
– Há um vazamento ali Senhor…
– Não é um vazamento, é uma lágrima! E esta serve para expressar alegrias, tristezas, dores, solidão, orgulho e outros sentimentos.

Vós sois um gênio, Senhor! – disse o anjo entusiasmado.
– Mas essa lágrima não fui eu que coloquei. Apareceu assim…

 

( Meus livros em Kindle AQUI )

40 seg leitura: porque quebrar um copo significa sorte

Numa reunião em minha casa, alguém quebrou um copo. “Isto é sinal de boa sorte”, disse minha mulher.

Todos os presentes conheciam esta tradição. Quebrar copo, derramar açúcar sem querer, entornar vinho, são sinais de boa sorte.

“Por que isto é sinal de boa sorte?”, perguntou um rabino que fazia parte de nosso grupo.

“Não sei”, disse minha mulher. “Talvez seja um antigo costume, de deixar sempre o hóspede à  vontade”.

“Não é a explicação correta”, disse o rabino. “Certas tradições judaicas dizem que cada homem tem uma cota de sorte, que vai usando no decorrer de sua vida. Pode fazer com que esta sorte renda juros, se usá-la apenas para coisas que realmente necessita – ou pode desperdiçá-la a  toa.

“Também nós, judeus, dizemos ‘boa sorte” quando alguém quebra um copo. Mas isto significa: “que bom, você não desperdiçou sua sorte tentando evitar que este copo quebrasse. Então, vai poder usá-la em coisas mais importantes”.

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life

 

Looking for Paulo Coelho quotes from some of his most popular books? Here are some of our favorite! Enjoy!

Born on 24 August 1947, Paulo Coelho de Souza is a Brazilian lyricist and novelist who’s best known for his international bestselling book, ‘The Alchemist’, the story of a young man traveling the world, searching for purpose, love and adventure.

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

As ‘The Alchemist’ is one of my favorite books of all time, and I am honored to share some highly inspirational and motivational quotes about happiness from one of my favorite authors,

 

Paulo Coelho quotes are filled with wisdom and practical advice, whether you’re looking for a new career, ending a relationship or trying to figure out what the next step should be.

You can find Paulo Coelho quotes all over the web, but the purpose of this post is to let his words of love and inspiration motivate you to let go, move on, and rise up!

Make sure to leave a comment and share this with a friend!

 

More Power To You!

Enjoy!

Paulo Coelho Quotes from The Alchemist and his other books about life, adventure and love

1. Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing can substitute experience. – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love

 

2. “People want to change everything and, at the same time want it all to remain the same.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About The Alchemist

 

3. “People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes about life

 

4. “You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his personal legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it’s because it wasn’t a true love…The love that speaks the language of the world.” – Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes About adventure

Also see these Alchemist quotes for the dreamer in you.

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Life and Dreams

5. “If you want to see a rainbow you have to learn to see the rain.” – Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes about life and love6. “Tears are words that need to be written.” Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes to inspire you about tears

7. “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About saying goodbye

 

8. “It takes huge effort to free yourself from memory.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes about freeing yourself

 

9. “When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About having nothing to lose

 

10. “Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes about pain and suffering

 

11. “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal.”– Paulo Coelho 

Paulo Coelho Quotes About adventure

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love

12. “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”– Paulo Coelho

 

best Paulo Coelho Quotes about love

13. “Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path. No one wants their life thrown into chaos.

That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded. Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems.

 

They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything. 

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it – which of these two attitudes is the least destructive? I don’t know.” 

– Paulo Coelho

inspirational Paulo Coelho Quotes About life

 

14. “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” – Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

15. “The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”– Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

16. “But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence.

 

If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.

– Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

Paulo Coelho quotes on love and family

17. The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us.” ? Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

17. “Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”– Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

18. “Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”– Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

19. “When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.”– Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

Paulo Coelho quotes love and writing

20. “We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal.

 

We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

 Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

21. “A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”– Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho quotes on dreams and learning

22. “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”– Paulo Coelho

23. “No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”– Paulo Coelho

24. “Choosing a path meant having to miss out on others. She had a whole life to live, and she was always thinking that, in the future, she might regret the choices she made now. “I’m afraid of committing myself,” she thought to herself. She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none.

 

Even in that most important area of her life, love, she had failed to commit herself. After her first romantic disappointment, she had never again given herself entirely. She feared pan, loss, and separation.

These things were inevitable on the path to love, and the only way of avoiding them was by deciding not to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, you had to renounce love. It was like putting out your own eyes not to see the bad things in life.” ?  Brida

Paulo Coelho quotes on fear

25. “When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.”– Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

26. “Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.– Paulo Coelho

27. “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”– Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho quotes on love and happiness

28. “After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it’s a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it’s sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.” ? Paulo Coelho

29. “Intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life.” ? Paulo Coelho

30. “Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness, but not loneliness. It is the worst of all tortures, the worst of all sufferings.” ? Paulo Coelho

31. “Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments — but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.” ? Paulo Coelho

 

32. “Everyone believes the world’s greatest lie…” says the mysterious old man.
“What is the world’s greatest lie?” the little boy asks.
The old man replies, “It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”
Paulo Coelho

33. “Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up. It’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.” ? Paulo Coelho

 

Paulo Coelho quotes on life

34. “This time I m not going to tell you a story. I’ll just say that insanity is the inability to communicate your ideas. It’s as if you were in a foreign country, able to see and understand everything that’s going on around you but incapable of explaining what you need to know or of being helped, because you don’t understand the language they speak there.” ? Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

35. “Even if it is only for a matter of moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days.” ? Paulo Coelho, Brida

36. “This was the kiss I had waited for so long – a kiss born by the river of our childhood, when we didn’t yet know what love meant. A kiss that had been suspended in the air as we grew, that had traveled in the world in the souvenir of a medal, and that had remained hidden behind piles of books. A kiss that had been lost and now was found. In the moment of that kiss were years of searching, disillusionment and impossible dreams.” ? Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

 

37. “All religions lead to the same God, and all deserve the same respect. Anyone who chooses a religion is also choosing a collective way for worshipping and sharing the mysteries. Nevertheless, that person is the only one responsible for his or her actions along the way and has no right to shift responsibility for any personal decisions on to that religion.”
? Paulo Coelho, Like the Flowing River

Paulo Coelho Quotes from The Alchemist and other books 

38. “When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny. Perhaps there’s something wrong with me, I don’t know, perhaps my marriage was a dream I couldn’t understand while it lasted.

All I know is that even though I can live without her, I would still like to see her again, to say what I never said when we were together: I love you more than I love myself. If I could say that, then I could go on living, at peace with myself, because that love has redeemed me.”

 

? Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

39. “Dreams are the language of God.” ? Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

40. “Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.” ? Paulo Coelho

 

41. “Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself.” ? Paulo Coelho

42. “Pain, loss and separation are inevitable on the path of love, and the only way of avoiding them is by deciding not to take that path at all. In order not to suffer, you have to renounce love.It was like putting out your own eyes in order not to see the bad things in life.” ? Paulo Coelho, Brida

43. “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.”
? Paulo Coelho

Paulo Coelho Quotes About Love, Life and The Alchemist

 

44. “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

45. “The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” ? Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

 

46. “This is what we call love. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

47. “If you start by promising what you don’t even have yet, you’ll lose your desire to work towards getting it.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

48. “Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.” ? Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

49. “I’m not a body with a soul, I’m a soul that has a visible part called the body.” ? Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

50. “Happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided.” ? Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Paulo Coelho quotes to inspire to live your best life

51. “I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a question of how I view my life.” ? Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

 

52. “You are what you believe yourself to be.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

53. “You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

54. “Don’t allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily” ? Paulo Coelho

55. “You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you.” ? Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

56. “And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear.” ? Paulo Coelho

57. “It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

58. “No matter how you feel today, get up, dress up & show up” ? Paulo Coelho

 

59. “Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

60. “So you see, Good and Evil have the same face; it all depends on when they cross the path of each individual human being.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

Other inspirational Paulo Coelho quotes

61. “I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.” ? Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

62. “Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

63. “My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

64. “Nothing in this world happens by chance.” ? Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

 

65. “Life can seem short or life can seem long, depending on how you live it.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

66. “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.” ? Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra

67. “No one places her dreams in the hands of those who might destroy them.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

68. “Because I don’t live in either my past or my future.I’m interested only in the present”.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

69. “People learn twenty-five percent from their teacher, twenty-five percent from listening to themselves, twenty-five percent from their friends, and twenty-five percent from time.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

70. “Sadness does not last forever when we walk in the direction of that which we always desired.” ? Paulo Coelho, The Fifth Mountain

Paulo Coelho: Hear What the Universe Is Telling You

 

Which Paulo Coelho quotes did we miss?

Coelho always dreamed of becoming a writer from an early age. Although he was discouraged by his parents who wanted him to become a lawyer,  he still found the courage to pursue his dream of becoming a writer.

 

Today, Paulo Coelho is one of the most widely read writers and he even holds the Guinness World Record for having the most translated books by a living author.

He also serves as a UNESCO special counselor and the Paulo Coelho Institute in 1996 to provide aid to impoverished children and elderly people.

Hopefully, you’ve gained some valuable wisdom and practical advice from these Paulo Coelho quotes.

Which Paulo Coelho quote is your favorite?

Tell us below!!

“Why are writers afraid of social networks?”

By Arantza Méndez-AguirrePaulo Coelho needs no introduction or whatsoever sort of ceremony, and neither do all his personal achievements and professional rewards in life. A man difficult to define, whose only presence is enough to create a very especial, almost bewitching atmosphere: he speaks, the entire audience just listens…How can he manage to do such thing? May be just because gratefulness and appreciation for every single thing in life are ruling values for Paulo… Over the presentation of his last book, Manuscript found in Accra, Paulo openly shared with us his most sincere, bewildering feedback on trending-topics.

In his own words, “ writers tend nowadays to explore new means to share their work, as they all want their books to be read.” With nearly 500 million readers, he definitely know what he is saying. “ I can only write if I can count on the human contact, that is to say, people who can understand my soul, and if it happens, then we have a starting point, a point of mutual confidence “ .

“ The books’ world is changing radically right now, as it did centuries ago. It was nonetheless a technological revolution itself, and now, we are simply living another one. Gutenberg faced similar problems. such as discovering the lead and antimony mix required for types, finding a new ink formula…to set a couple of examples – and deciding what to print. He chose the Bible, of course, which once again proved to be a source of new problems. The printing press caused the of Renaissance, where thinking is suddenly freed out to travel all over…the era of the privileged was over.”

“This is the same now with Social Networks, I love posting and blogging, with which I make zero money but, at the same time, I gain something by far more precious…the contact with the reader.

“ I cannot help feeling surprise when contemporary writers complain about Social Networks, and the amount of information, which they deem as data bombing…It is just the possibility to choose, in my opinion, and it only makes us even more free….

“we are living a new Renaissance, if only we could see it…We do not like being romantic, but romanticism is here again….This is nonetheless the Internet Advent, where people start both thinking and share differently for the fist time in many years…”

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The fox and the king

The animals decided that the king of the group would be elected by the best dancer. At the end of a big feast, the monkey was crowned king.

The jealous fox went for a walk around the neighborhood. There he discovered a trap intact with food inside it. He swiftly picked it up and brought it to the group:

“I found this banquet and felt that I had to bring it to our king, who shall have priority in all things.”

In all innocence, the monkey stretched out his paw to get the food, and was caught in the trap.

“You betrayed me!” he shouted.

“What do you mean? I did not even try to take the food! But at least we have seen that you are not fit for the position; an intelligent animal would never make a decision without first thinking a lot about all the possibilities and dangers involved.

The Meaning of Peace

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El Significado de la Paz

Haz clic para descargar la versión en español

Haz clic para descargar la versión en español

30 sec reading: change and renewal


When winter arrives, the trees must sigh in sadness as they see their leaves falling.

They say: ‘We will never be like we were before.’
Of course.

Or still, what is the meaning of renewing oneself? The next leaves will have their own nature, they pertain to a new summer that approaches and which will never be like the one that passed.
Living means changing – and the seasons repeat these lessons to us every year.

Changing means going through a period of depression: we still don’t know the new and we have to forget everything we used to know.

But if we are a little patient, spring ends up arriving and we forget the winter of our hopelessness.

Change and renewal are the laws of life.
It is best to get used to them and not suffer about things that only exist to bring us joy.

taken from Manuscript found in Accra

Benefits of Reading Books

 

5 Benefits of Reading Books

Days are gone when only geeks used to read books. Nowadays, many smart CEO of big multinational organizations read a book every week, yes every week a book, and they love and want to read even more. According to a study by Yale University, people who read books live two years longer than the people who don’t read, and that is not dependent on gender, education, wealth, or health. The report extrapolated that thorough reading promotes emotional intelligence and empathy, a cognitive process that is a result of a greater probability of surviving. In the leisure time, instead of watching television and scrolling through social media, in short, becoming a couch potato do you no good; it makes you less smart. These activities not only consume time but are not good for your physical health and lead to body dissatisfaction and slow cognitive function leading to distorted emotional wellbeing. This blog is to tell you how you can convert your leisure time being productive by reading books and what benefits you will get while doing so. 

1.      Helps you to have a good night’s sleep

Two factors are important to manage before you go to sleep. One is light, and the other is sound. Digital devices such as smartphones, televisions, tablets, and other devices that emit light. They have a blue part of the spectrum in their light, which is very problematic as it makes you more vigilant, reducing the production of melatonin a vital hormone in the sleep cycle. Even if you’re able to sleep in this environment, you will not achieve the quality of sleep your body requires. Reading books before going to sleeps increases your productivity when you wake up, and this habit also helps you to go to sleep early. Additionally, the books do not emit any light that can cause stress. So it is a win-win situation.

2.      There are some stories in the books you miss on television

Many blockbuster movies are based on stories based on books. But still, there are many fantastic stories out there in the books that you’re missing. Suppose you like a movie, and you like the genre, but you’re unable to find other movies with the same genre, so if that movie is based on the book, you can simply search the writer and find his/her other books on the same genre. Additionally, many personalities changed the world, and there are no movies or shows available that truly interpret their struggle through life.  You can simply obtain their autobiographies or biographies, this will help you see a clear perspective, and you will have their experience with you. Suppose the great people like Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, or any other person that you like by his/her writing provides you the opportunity to experience his/her whole life. So the value of their experience will be in your mind that will help you throughout your life.

3.      Some of your favourite shows and movies on television are from a book

There might be some movies or shows that you love on television such as Game of Thrones or movies like the troy, fight club, da Vinci code, or the famous Harry porter; these are all masterpieces from books. The movies are for a limited time and don’t effectively manifest the writer’s imagination, so reading books of the stories is a more enjoyable experience. Considering the imagination of the writer, they are very worried about the picturizing of their book into a movie. Take an example of Paulo Coelho, the famous writer of the international bestseller Alchemist. He never wants his books to be translated into a movie, although many famous directors reach him, the rationale he provides is that he wants his readers to enjoy their imagination. So if you don’t like reading books, you’re missing all this fascinating literature.  

4.      Books are the dumbbells of your cognitive system

Researches have shown that reading books that have a resilient description leave an impression on your cognitive system of your brain, amplifying the connections within the parts of your brain that are responsible for the reception of language. This effect lasts for some days, so all you have to keep reading every day and cultivate the benefits. Reading makes your brain to work optimistically as you analyse perspectives and possibilities.

5.      Durability of experience

What is the durability of fun and experience you get from a book is subject to the time you put in it. If you’re enjoying and concentrating every detail and imagining every character to understand their situation and they feel in any situation. In this way, durability will be high, and the fun will stay for many weeks. Further benefits from the books are you obtain skills for the future. It increases the vocabulary that helps you in professional life as well; Reading books also helps in brain deterioration by regularly exercising your brain muscles and provides the tendency to cope with the diseases.  

O Significado da Paz

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What “I’m Sorry” Means When it’s Used to Manipulate You

One Love Heart Blue Written by Writer’s Corps member Emily Desanctis  

“I’m sorry” carries a lot of weight when it’s genuine. Saying it requires vulnerability to admit wrongdoing and the hurt that that wrongdoing has inflicted on the person you’re apologizing to. To be truly sorry means feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation and your role in it. But in unhealthy relationships, people often say, “I’m sorry” not to express genuine regret; instead, they use it to manipulate their significant other. In such cases, these words mean something else entirely, including the following five possible meanings and their synonyms.

1. A declaration made out of selfishness

What “I’m sorry” Means When it’s Used to Manipulate You Learn 2

Synonym: I don’t want to feel guilty anymore

I feel guilty because of what happened, and guilt isn’t a good feeling. I’m saying that I’m sorry to make myself feel better, not you.

 

2. A means to end a dispute that the apologizer would prefer to avoid, often for lack of caring

 

Synonym: This conversation is over

I’m tired and bored with this disagreement so I’m using these words to end it. I probably don’t believe it or don’t care enough to get to the real issue and so I’ll say this, so you’ll stop pressing for more. It may seem that I’m submitting to your point here, but in fact, I’m using this phrase to avoid doing so.

3. A method of appeasement to control another person

 

Synonym: I’m in control

I’m telling you what you want to hear not because I mean it, but because I know it will appease you and then allow me to pull your strings as I desire. If I don’t say it, there’s a high likelihood of some outcome occurring that I don’t want to happen—maybe you’ll stop talking to me or leave me home alone while you go out with your friends or break up with me for good. “I’m sorry” is simply a tool I pull out from my toolbox to prevent these things from happening.

 

4. A phrase designed to elicit an apology from the other party, whereby the original apologizer can deflect full responsibility to that other person; usually said in a hostile or sarcastic tone and often followed by an explicit or implicit “…but this is really your fault

 

Synonym: you should be sorry

I wanted to hurt you and I did exactly what I knew would do so. But you started it—like always, you did something to make me upset: you weren’t where you said you’d be, you smiled at that stranger in an overtly flirtatious way, you took too long to respond to my text. Even though you might pretend that you didn’t mean to hurt me, I know that’s a lie. This is really your fault; in fact, you should be apologizing to me.

 

5. A means of furthering the test of how far the apologizer can push the other person’s boundaries and get away with it

 

Synonym: I’m testing you

I know what will hurt you and I do it with pleasure. I’m testing you to see what I can get away with—to see what you’ll put up with and what you won’t. “I’m sorry” is just something I say before I do this again—maybe the same exact way, or maybe slightly differently. Don’t worry, over time you’ll become desensitized to this; it will simply be “normal,” and so I’ll continue to push further so I can provoke you to react and keep myself entertained.

 

 

The hidden meaning behind any disingenuous “I’m sorry” is the same: I’m not really sorry because you deserve it. This is the lie that manipulators who lavish false apologies spread.

But no one deserves to be harmed, whether physically, emotionally, or with words. If your partner keeps telling you “I’m sorry” and you continue to feel worse, watch their actions. Are they really acting like someone who regrets what they’ve done, or are they doing it again, or maybe in a slightly different way? When it comes to determining if you’re in a relationship with a healthy partner, what they do is more important than what they say.